Obedience to the Call

Someone near and dear to me has been trying out online dating! And to that, I say way to be brave and put yourself out there. As we all know, dating is not for the faint of heart.

In fact it's hard, really hard.

And time and time again, date after date, this person that's near and dear to me is disappointed. Perhaps he's too short, too quiet, a mama's boy, not stylish enough, not funny enough, not chivalrous enough, not fit enough, not strong enough in his faith...you fill in the blank.

And I can't help but wonder, how often do we do this?  How often do we recite this superficial list of boxes the guy doesn't tick in order to justify a lack of connection? And is this type of justification even necessary?

And I'm sure if we're honest with ourselves, we all have our lists right...of expectations for the partner we envision(ed) ourselves with? And how many of you are married to partners that tick EVERY single box on that list? The reality is...they will tick some, the important ones, but the superficial ones will be tossed aside.

Because ultimately, it is the call of God that draws you and pulls you toward the other person, and not a superficial list. And if you don't feel that God given connection, then it's hard to argue with that. If you fully believe this, then there's no need for the superficial justifications.

Peter and I have been married for 6 years and 9 months, and those who know me, know that I adore my husband. But if I'm incredibly honest, I had a list, I had expectations, and nowhere on that list did it say Irish National. Nowhere on that list did it say...sign me up for a cross cultural marriage, sign me up to marry someone very different from myself, sign me up to marry someone who will refine and challenge me DAILY!

And when I think about my relationship with Peter, I think about the fact that God called us to each other. Peter may not have been the man I would have chosen for myself, but God knew best, and I chose God's best. And yes, even to this day, there are things about him that drive me crazy at times, just like there are things about me that drive him crazy. But we are able to see past all those things because we believe God called us to each other, and by marrying, we were being obedient to that call. He knew best..far better than I did and His way and His plans are far greater than mine. And my prayer is that we never lose sight of that call.

So my advice to marrieds and non marrieds alike...Hold fast to that call. Be obedient. The superficial things fall by the wayside when you feel called to your partner. And by the grace of God people can change. Just toss all your expectations and any sense of entitlement out the window and see where God leads you.