Arthur.

So the beauty of my job is that I meet some really interesting people and have daily interactions with a mailman, Jim - the UPS guy, Arthur - the FedEX guy, Todd - the hilarious hollerer, and countless others who feel so called to enter through the door of the Cristy Carner Salon and Spa.

A few weeks ago, Arthur, the FedEX guy, asked me about married life and I shared a bit of my marriage with him, while he shared a bit of his with me. Well this bit entailed him informing me that he was married at the young age of 20 in Pakistan. His wife was 19 at the time and the whole thing was arranged. Now I thought I had my beliefs about arranged marriages figured out until I met my friend, Serenus. Serenus is a 26 year old Indian man living in Belfast. His sisters marriage was arranged, and he is betting that his will be too…IF HE SO CHOOSES. His parents are all for him marrying someone he randomly meets and falls in love with. However, Serenus explained that knowing that an arranged marriage is a possibility takes the pressure of his shoulders to randomly date. I mean let's be honest...dating can be stressful, especially for all those single 30 somethings out there who just want to meet someone delightful and marry them! See, for Serenus, he doesn't have to worry about any of that because he knows that if he doesn't meet anyone on his own, his parents will sort the whole thing out…sounds kind of nice doesn't it? I mean a whole lot of it is cultural too...and some cultures are SOO much more accepting of this whole arranged marriage business than others.

Well Arthur had different thoughts on arranged marriages…and his thoughts paralleled the thoughts of my former self. He told me that they had been married for over 30 years…and it had all become habit…just a habit. His said his wife was so stubborn and all she did was nag, nag, nag…he even went so far as to ask me if i nagged my husband. I, replying honestly because thats what I do, told him that OF COURSE I NAG MY HUSBAND…i mean i'm not proud of it, but it's almost like the cross I bear as a wife right? And it's a constant struggle with me. I don't want the nagging words to cross the threshold of my lips, but before I know it they do and they are out in the open, floating around, and I can't seem to get them back into my mouth quick enough! So it is definitely something I am working on because really WHO WANTS TO BE KNOWN AS THE NAGGING WIFE???

Anyhow, enough about me…back to Arthur. I wanted to laugh a little after I replied to his nagging question because that one question took me back to countless moments within my own marriage where I was the epitome of the nagging wife…and i was disgusted by myself. But I couldn't laugh, I couldn't even let out the slightest chuckle because when I looked at this man…when I really looked at him I saw that his shoulders sagged just a little lower than before, and his head was turned down and he was probably reliving all of his own nagging wife moments. He was probably feeling the weight of them ALL on his thin shoulders. And he simply smiled and said "I'm sure its nice to be in love"…and he shut the door behind him before I even had a chance to reply…."Well, yes, Arthur, you are right…it is nice to be in love."

And let me tell you it IS nice to be in love...marriage is truly SUCH a gift from the Lord and such a beautiful blessing. But more importantly it is so nice to be in love with my best friend. Thanks for reading...that's all for now folks!

P.S. The picture of the cartoon character, PBS kid, Arthur is by no means meant to depict the REAL life Arthur...BUT I use word associations and name associations ALL the time just so I can remember people's names and places and things. And whenever i see the REAL life Arthur I instantly think of the cartoon character Arthur which then helps me to remember that the name of the REAL man before me is in fact Arthur!