Mommy Somebody Needs You.

My Little Independent Man

I ran across this article on Facebook via the Huffington post and considering it's titled Mommy Somebody Needs you, I figured it was worth a read.

I loved this article - and even though I read it over 6 months ago, I bookmarked it so I could read it again and again and again, and I knew eventually the day would come when it would make it's way to the blog.

Seeing as we only have one child outside the womb right now...the mommy somebody needs you doesn't come from Jack's month, more like from Peter's mouth, or more like from mine to be honest. Peter...somebody needs you. Peter...Jack needs you right now. Peter.....you get the point.

And although Jack is older and he is becoming more and more independent by the day, and although his needs have changed a bit, he is still very much dependent on his parents. We are still the ones that provide his little mouth with food - granted he does get the random cheerio in his mouth that he has dropped on the floor hours earlier. We are still the ones that change his diaper, wash his little body, put clothes on him, his socks and shoes on, and hold his hand as he walks down stairs.

And yes, it's all rather tiring to be honest...to be needed, to have this little being depend on you. And I remember being slightly annoyed by it at first, and perhaps a little resentful of this need he had for me, and as the days and months have passed, I now find a sick pleasure in knowing that this little boy needs me. As I know there will come a time when he no longer needs me the way he does now.

Her words touch me so deeply to the core. May I find peace in the fact that somebody needs me. May I fully embrace this...even when he wakes up in the middle of the night and a little too early in the morning and calls out MAMA at the top of his lungs!

There were so many good bits from this article, but my favorite part was the part at the end - read the whole article in it's entirety here Mommy Somebody Needs you.

"...right now, somebody always needs me. Like last night...
At 3 a.m. I hear the little footsteps entering my room. I lay still, barely breathing. Maybe he will retreat to his room. Yeah right.
"Mommy."
"Mommy." A little louder.
"Yes," I barely whisper.
He pauses, his giant eyes flashing in the dim light.
"I love you."

And just like that, he is gone. Scampered back to his room. But, his words still hang in the cool night air. If I could reach out and snatch them, I would grab his words and hug them to my chest. His soft voice whispering the best sentence in the world. I love you. A smile curls across my lips and I slowly exhale, almost afraid to blow the memory away. I drift back to sleep and let his words settle into my heart.

One day that little boy will be a big man. There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the wee hours. Just the whir of the sound machine and the snoring husband. I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby. It will be but a memory. These years of being needed are exhausting yet fleeting. I have to stop dreaming of "one day" when things will be easier. Because the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today. Today, when I am covered in toddler snot and spit-up. Today, when I savor those chubby little arms around my neck. Today is perfect. "One day" I will get pedicures and showers alone. "One day" I will get myself back. But, today I give myself away and I am tired and dirty and loved SO much, and I gotta go. Somebody needs me."

Ahh..it's so good! I can completely relate to every single thing she writes...and now I gotta go as somebody needs me.