I know with the New Year comes resolutions and promises and words and phrases people want to live by. I've always loved the idea of capturing a word for the year and holding onto it throughout all the 365 days, but how do you ever choose a word right?
At Church last week, Pastor Richard preached on Joshua 1, and Joshua 1:9 really stuck out to me.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go"
And as he read through the entire passage, I just kept thinking that's my phrase for the year.
Be Strong and Courageous.
My initial thought was that I would be courageous and brave and bold in all of my life, with every aspect of my being, that I wouldn't let fear of any kind hold me back. Truly though, I just kept thinking, I need to hold onto this passage and this verse as I go forward down the path of being a mom of two. Simple as that.
Be Strong and Courageous.
Little did I know that these words would be implanted on my heart Sunday, and that this 4 week old baby of mine would land himself in the hospital Monday.
Be Strong and Courageous.
As I sit in the hospital room with my 4 week old who can barely breathe, who has terrible coughing fits that leave him incapable of catching his breathe and sometimes cause him to gag and throw up his meal, I hear Him.
Be Strong and Courageous.
And as I drove myself to the hospital this morning, with a rather negative attitude about this whole thing, and as I asked the various questions and thought the various thoughts...
Why do we have to go through this again?
It's so unfair.
I'm so tired of going to the hospital.
I'm so tired of not seeing Peter and Jack.
I'm so tired of not having my baby at home.
I hear Him.
Be Strong and Courageous.
It's easy for me to play the victim and cry why me and have those negative thoughts, but to be honest, those thoughts don't get me anywhere good. It's up to me to take ownership over myself and my thoughts and my actions. And this takes courage.
But I hear Him say.
Be Strong and Courageous.
And the reality is...I can be.
With His strength and His might, I will not be afraid, I will not be discouraged, for the LORD my God is with me wherever I go.
He is with me in that car as I drive to the hospital.
He is with me as I walk up the stairs to the hospital entrance, and as I take the elevator up to the 6th floor.
He is with me in that hospital room as I caress my babies head or pat his little back.
He is with me as I hold him and as I attempt to ease his pain as he suffers another coughing fit.
He is with me.
Always.
May I hold fast to this promise and remember to Be Strong and Courageous in all things. And may I look back on this moment, when my baby is home in our arms, as a moment when Christ was glorified and His strength and courage was revealed to me and through me.
Amen.
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