That is the question of the day these days.
And I wish I had a really good, solid answer.
But the truth is, I don't.
I'm still trying to figure it out.
All I can say is that I had no idea what I was really getting myself into. I mean yes, we have one child already, so I'm familiar with how to care for a baby and now a toddler. But I have never had to manage two of my own at the same time.
And let's just say this two kid business is no joke. It's hard work.
Here are some of my two kid nuggets of wisdom, for whatever their worth.
The toddler is a lot more work than the newborn baby. To quote the husband, "First time parents don't realize just how easy newborns are, but you better believe those second time parents sure do." And the truth is that the newborn sleeps ALL the time right now. And I can set him down somewhere and walk away only to return and have him in the same place as where I left him. He doesn't protest when I change his diaper or try to jump off the changing table. He eats whatever I put in front of him and quiets down when the food is shoved in his face.
The hardest thing for me is figuring out how to balance time with each child, and not only balance time but balance the needs of each child. One is crying because they're hungry and the other is telling you with their words that they're hungry. But there's only one of you, so who do you serve first? If I'm honest, I serve the toddler. His needs are met far quicker than the hangry newborn baby. And once the toddler's needs are met, then I can actually sit down, and relax a little and enjoy that time snuggling with and feeding that newborn baby, while that toddler runs around like a crazy person.
I value my husband, my partner even more now that we have two kids. I can't imagine doing this two kid thing without him. With him it feels doable, without him, I'm sure I would feel like I was drowning. And some days I'm sure I would feel like a superstar!! Kind of like I do today or every single time I get both kids fed, changed and out of the house. We have our bad days and we have our good days, but if I'm honest, we have far more good days than bad. Talk to me when I go back to work or when Ryan is a little bit more mobile and not sleeping as much.
The parent to child ratio is a little intimidating when Peter's not around. When Peter's not around, I'm fully outnumbered, and when he is around, the parent to child ratio is 1:1. Straight away, after we brought the baby home from the hospital, we quickly fell into a routine. Peter was responsible for the toddler, and I was responsible for the baby. Peter changed Jack's diapers, while I changed Ryan's. He fed Jack, while I snuck away to our bedroom and fed Ryan. He cuddled Jack, while I cuddled Ryan. Now that Peter is back to work and not working from home as much, I'd have to say those roles and responsibilities have obviously changed, or else Jack would be running around in a poopy diaper all day and starving. However, even 7 weeks in, the roles and responsibilities are still pretty divided when Peter is home. And I'd have to say Peter does the night time routine with Jack nearly every night now. And it's hard because sometimes I want him to be the one spending time with the baby, and I want to be the one putting Jack to bed. But that being said, I go back to the toddler is a lot more work than the newborn. Even the night time routine is more complicated, especially when that said toddler requires one more book, or one more sip of water, or one more song, and especially when said toddler gets up out of bed, opens the door and comes into the living room ready to party. And as I'm in the bedroom snuggling that newborn and cherishing our one on one time together, I can't help but chuckle to myself and thank my lucky stars for my partner and for the fact that he's the one dealing with that toddler's strong will tonight.
Babywearing is essential. Truly though, I wear Ryan out and about way more than I wore Jack. I very rarely take him out in his car seat and even when I take the stroller, which is in fact a double stroller, I still wear the baby. It's hard to maneuver a double stroller and things barely fit in your shopping cart if you have a toddler in the seat and a car seat in the cart. I have two carriers - the Moby Wrap and the Beco Gemini. I know you're probably thinking how many carriers does a mom need, and if I'm honest, I would definitely say two. I know it sounds a little excessive, but I have two, and a part of me wants another. Either a sling, the Sakura Bloom sling, or a different wrap, the Solly Baby Wrap. A sling is so easy to just slip on and you can breastfeed while wearing it!! And the Moby is great because baby is right up against you and any baby fits in it. My babies are always really small, so they never fit into a traditional carrier for the first few months, but it's a lot of fairly thick fabric and it's too big to slip into my diaper bag. When I wear it, I put it on before I even leave the house, and then it's just a part of my outfit. And the Beco Gemini is similar to the Ergo, again not something that would fit into my diaper bag, but super easy to just slip on. They each have their pros and their cons and that's why it's nice to have two.
You must get out of the house. Even if it's just for a walk around the neighborhood or a quick trip to the grocery store or a visit to your local park. Getting out of the house with two kids seems daunting, this I know, but it's so good once you are out and about. And again babywearing is essential as it leaves you with your hands free so you can attempt to keep up with that crazy toddler and their endless energy.
Having a child in general is exhausting, but it's so rewarding. And with two kids comes the true meaning of siblings. I can't imagine just having one. Seeing Jack love on Ryan truly melts my heart. I can't wait to see the love reciprocated, but for now, Jack will settle with smothering Ryan in kisses and laying on top of him, while demanding nothing in return.
This is my life right now. I've always envisioned having three kids, but I must say the ratio right now is a good one. We'll see how I feel in a year!
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