You're a Human Being, not a Human Doing

You guys, it's a Saturday night and I'm writing! This is exactly what I want to be doing every night, but it never happens. Things get in the way...I let all tasks I have to do take precedent over all the things I actually want to do. And then when Sunday evening comes or the next morning comes, I'm saddened and perhaps slightly bitter that I spent the whole night folding laundry, or doing dishes, or putting the boys back to bed, or working, and I very rarely take time to just sit...and let my fingers have their way with the keyboard. 

It's moments like this that are so good for my soul. And I'm always left feeling as though I really need to do this more often...take time for myself and just sit. So instead of emptying the dishwasher and instead of cleaning the house, I'm just sitting.

Thank you Jesus for this time! The days are long, but the years are so short, and if I'm honest some days feel really really long, especially the days that are just filled with tasks and things that have to could be done. And some days I come home from the office, and I'm just tired, and the last thing I want to do is put my babies to bed and house chores. And I just feel like I'm doing all the time. And I eventually have a bit of a breakdown.

Said breakdown happened recently and I came home late from being out of the house and felt overwhelmed by the laundry that had to be folded and the dishes that had to be washed, all before my head hit the pillow that night. And my precious husband called me to him on the couch and just said, "You're a human BEING not a human DOING"...and yes, my husband is clever with his words, but that phrase blew me away that night and I felt so convicted. And he just said, "Sit with me...I have something I want you to watch." You guys, I'm embarrassed to say that I was so reluctant and annoyed...didn't he realize all the tasks that had to be done? Didn't he see them all or was he simply blind to them? Why was it so easy for him to sit and rest? And why is it so incredibly hard for me? 

And I kept thinking about what he had just said...You're a human BEING not a human DOING. So of course I sat.

And I watched this.

 

And I cried. Their words resonated deeply with me. I loved hearing their thoughts on what they would do differently if they were young again.

And I lost it emotionally when they started talking about what they wouldn't give...

"to extend those goodnight kisses instead of moaning about having to get up early in the morning"

You guys, I had JUST done this!! And as Jack was saying "mama nigh nigh"..."mama song"..."mama Bed"...I was crying "NOOOO, not me, pick dada, ask dada...mama has too many other things to do and she doesn't have time for this." Rather than rejoicing in this little person's desire for me, I was resenting it and moaning about putting him to bed. 

And I just cried and sat in my husbands arms as I listened to the final thought in the video.

"If I were a young woman now, I'd spend more time being not doing."  

Beautiful, just beautiful. 

Thank you husband for reminding me to sit and rest and be present.

Thank you for reminding me that we were created for so much more than our to do lists. It's so easy for me to lose sight of this. I lose sight of God's true purpose for me and my life. I lose sight of who I am and whose I am. And I just keep on doing. 

Until I realize that in the resting and in the being I hear God's voice and I find myself. And I'm reminded to be still and know that He is God. I am reminded that He alone gives me strength. He alone is my peace. He alone is my refuge. 

May I hold fast to these promises and may I rejoice in each day...even if it means lots of mama songs and middle of the night wake ups.