A few nights ago, I went to bed before Peter, which we are in the habit of doing these days as my husband has become quite the night owl! And as I was laying in bed, I just started thinking about my husband, our marriage, our friendship, our joy and our children, our beautiful, sweet boys. And I was just overwhelmed with gratitude to the LORD for all of it...the good times and the hard times...the deep love and joy and the sleepless nights and the endless pouring out.
And you guys I just started laughing! And this is how Peter found me when he came into the room. So he was a little suspicious of what I might be up to. I admit I can be pretty mischievous at times but not this time. However, he's thinking I put something in the bed so he pulls back the covers and then proceeds to look behind the closet door. He's thinking I'm playing a trick on him somehow. And it just made me laugh harder. And he just looks and me and asks...What is it?
And I just said..I'm just really happy, I loved our day together and I'm just so thankful for you and this life that we have.
You guys, it's a Saturday night and I'm writing! This is exactly what I want to be doing every night, but it never happens. Things get in the way...I let all tasks I have to do take precedent over all the things I actually want to do. And then when Sunday evening comes or the next morning comes, I'm saddened and perhaps slightly bitter that I spent the whole night folding laundry, or doing dishes, or putting the boys back to bed, or working, and I very rarely take time to just sit...and let my fingers have their way with the keyboard.
It's moments like this that are so good for my soul. And I'm always left feeling as though I really need to do this more often...take time for myself and just sit. So instead of emptying the dishwasher and instead of cleaning the house, I'm just sitting.
Thank you Jesus for this time! The days are long, but the years are so short, and if I'm honest some days feel really really long, especially the days that are just filled with tasks and things that have to could be done. And some days I come home from the office, and I'm just tired, and the last thing I want to do is put my babies to bed and house chores. And I just feel like I'm doing all the time. And I eventually have a bit of a breakdown.
Said breakdown happened recently and I came home late from being out of the house and felt overwhelmed by the laundry that had to be folded and the dishes that had to be washed, all before my head hit the pillow that night. And my precious husband called me to him on the couch and just said, "You're a human BEING not a human DOING"...and yes, my husband is clever with his words, but that phrase blew me away that night and I felt so convicted. And he just said, "Sit with me...I have something I want you to watch." You guys, I'm embarrassed to say that I was so reluctant and annoyed...didn't he realize all the tasks that had to be done? Didn't he see them all or was he simply blind to them? Why was it so easy for him to sit and rest? And why is it so incredibly hard for me?
And I kept thinking about what he had just said...You're a human BEING not a human DOING. So of course I sat.
And I watched this.
And I cried. Their words resonated deeply with me. I loved hearing their thoughts on what they would do differently if they were young again.
And I lost it emotionally when they started talking about what they wouldn't give...
"to extend those goodnight kisses instead of moaning about having to get up early in the morning"
You guys, I had JUST done this!! And as Jack was saying "mama nigh nigh"..."mama song"..."mama Bed"...I was crying "NOOOO, not me, pick dada, ask dada...mama has too many other things to do and she doesn't have time for this." Rather than rejoicing in this little person's desire for me, I was resenting it and moaning about putting him to bed.
And I just cried and sat in my husbands arms as I listened to the final thought in the video.
"If I were a young woman now, I'd spend more time being not doing."
Beautiful, just beautiful.
Thank you husband for reminding me to sit and rest and be present.
Thank you for reminding me that we were created for so much more than our to do lists. It's so easy for me to lose sight of this. I lose sight of God's true purpose for me and my life. I lose sight of who I am and whose I am. And I just keep on doing.
Until I realize that in the resting and in the being I hear God's voice and I find myself. And I'm reminded to be still and know that He is God. I am reminded that He alone gives me strength. He alone is my peace. He alone is my refuge.
May I hold fast to these promises and may I rejoice in each day...even if it means lots of mama songs and middle of the night wake ups.
In August, Peter traveled to the Dominican Republic for 10 days, which was fine, I missed him of course, but that's simply a given! However, what wasn't so fine was that he left me in charge of the grass...umm?? Probably not the best idea! For those who don't know - we bought a house last March and when we first moved into the house the yard was a disaster, the grass included. There were giant divots in the yard and the grass was extremely sporadic. Peter bought all sorts of dirt and fertilizer thinking one of those would do the grass some good, but we never had much luck. So come last September we decided to hire someone to come in and tear the whole thing up and start over again! And the grass is now simply glorious - it truly is. Below is a recent photo to prove it!
So with all that being said - it just so happened to be hitting record highs that week Peter was gone, and it just so happened that I was going to be out of town the first few days he was gone. Sometime over that weekend, I received an email from my husband kindly reminding me to water the grass, considering he had checked out the weather report. So when I got back late Sunday night, I thought to myself, I'll water the grass in the morning. And when I woke up on Monday morning I was in for a bit of a shock. Parts of the grass were brown - now not like a dead grass color brown, but just a little off and not quite as green as the rest.
Well let's just say I panicked, called my dad, and even emailed my husband to warn him of the sight he just might see see when he came home. And he kindly informed me to water the grass two times a day. TWO TIMES A DAY Peter?? And for how long now?? His reply - about 30 minutes or more each time, in the front yard and the back yard! I originally thought - He's got to be crazy right??
And let me tell you, he definitely is not, but the man LOVES his grass. And I suppose we paid money for that grass, so I too should look at that grass rather differently, right? Well, let's just say, now I most certainly do! Thus, guess what I did? I watered that grass for the next 7 days, morning and night for a total of 2 hours each day. And I was so bored! So of course, I brought a book outside with me, and I held the book in one hand and the hose in the other.
And let's just say, I not only look at that grass differently, but I also look at my husband a little differently - that man is faithful to his grass watering, and let's just say I was so thankful when the husband came home and took back his watering duties. But things have changed a little around our house - we finally bought a sprinkler! Simple pleasures, I tell you, Simple pleasures! And I think the rain is coming, which means the water bill will finally be decreasing, and the grass will only get greener.
So without further ado...I will leave you with some of Peter's photos from the Dominican Republic.
