You turned 18 months a few weeks ago, and it's hard for me to believe you've been outside of the womb for that long already. Where has the time gone? It is so true what they say. The days are long, but the years sure are short.
I took you and your brother to your 18 month checkup, and Dr. Seru commented on the fact that you were just roaming around the room. "He sure is busy," she said and I just laughed and said, "Yep!" and she said with a smile, "Are you sure you want another?" and I said, "Yep, but definitely not any time soon and there are definitely some days I question that!" And I chuckle to myself because you guys are so little right now, and it is hard, but I'm sure with time it will get easier, and I've always thought of you as my middle child. From the moment I held you in my arms, I always thought, he is me. He's the middle, which is funny I know because you don't have a younger sibling...yet... but it's so true.
So let me tell you a little about yourself.
You my child are a force to be reckoned with. And I smile just thinking about your determination and your persistence. You make me laugh as I watch you attempt things that your little body simply limits you with. You literally try to walk down stairs even though I know you'll fall. And you did, just a few days ago, smacked your head pretty good. And you hold on to any item for dear life when you think your possession of said item is threatened by myself or your brother. You may be small but you sure are mighty.
And the smallest things bring you joy, like the crinkle of the paper on the Drs. table, or your breakfast in the mornings, or your pacifier, or your brother (most days), or hide n seek, or being tickled. You laugh alot and you are so quick to have a smile on your face.
You are obsessed with dogs and waving goodbye and saying BYYEEE to any moving object or any person. You are not shy whatsoever and you LOVE walking over to random people and joining in on their fun. And you truly are Mr. Independent - you love paving your own way to a destination. It's such a new thing to me as Jack always stuck pretty close to us, but you are fearless and you don't care if anyone follows you. You know where you want to go and you're determined to get there. And you are so curious about everything, always asking what's this? What's that?
I can't wait to see how these all of these characteristics evolve over time. I could go on and on about you my child, but what I really wanted to share is this.
This last week you had your first fever and one night you woke up about an hour after we put you to bed, which is so rare as you are usually such a rockstar sleeper. And rather than just let you fuss and sort yourself out as you normally do, I found myself opening the door to your room and grabbing your sleepy body out of your bed. I hugged you tightly to me and you nuzzled your head into the crook of my neck. I just kissed your face, stroked your hair and rubbed your back. And I just held you, and smelled you, and felt the weight of your 25 lb body heavy in my arms and marveled at how much you have grown over the last 18 months.
And I found myself praising God for you, for your life, for your joy, for the impact you've had on my heart, for the privilege of being your mama! This life we're living feels like such an incredible privilege. And sometimes I just get so overwhelmed with the emotion of it all.
And as I held you, I just prayed out loud over your little body with so much passion and conviction in my voice.
Father, may he come to know You.
May he know firsthand Your goodness, Your grace, Your faithfulness.
May he know the everlasting hope that comes from You.
May he not only BELIEVE IN Your existence, but may he fully BELIEVE in Your truths.
And I just started singing to you. And as I sang a song I haven't sang in years, the tears started streaming down my face.
And with your soft cheek touching mine, I sang.
I love you, Lord.
And I lift my voice.
To worship You.
Oh, my soul, rejoice!
Take joy my King.
In what You hear.
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound.
In Your ear.
My
child, I hope and pray that you catch a glimpse of God's character and
His deep love for you through your dada and I! You are so loved.
Love,
Mama
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