Lord I need You.

Disclaimer.

I wrote this post nearly 2 months ago, and it's been sitting in my drafts waiting to be wrapped up and finished since then. And there's a myriad of reasons why I haven't finished this post, but I stopped typing mid thought that Friday because there was a knock at the door, and I answered that door with puffy eyes and wet cheeks to find my sweet aunt on the other side. Oh the delight I felt in seeing her face. And as the tears streamed down my face, and as I declared just how hard my day had been, she just pulled me into her.

I smile now thinking back to that moment. Here I was crying out to the Lord. Lord I need YOU. And He sent my aunt to my door. Thank you Jesus for your great and glorious provision during this season. May I continue to see Your face and Your goodness amidst the good days and the hard days.
 
Lord I need you.

This is what I find myself saying with every breath today as today has felt really hard.

This moment right now feels really hard.

Lord I need you.

As many of you know my husband Peter has been unemployed for 11 months now, and we have had our ups and downs. If I'm incredibly honest, most days are up, but when the down days come they hit us hard on those days. And on Monday Peter was hit hard by a down day, and today the down day has found me.

Friends, about an hour ago Peter called to inform me that one of our cars had just stopped on the freeway as he was driving south to meet a friend for lunch. Thank goodness Peter was able to just coast off the exit and stop the car somewhere safe while he waited for the tow truck to come. But my first thought was how much is this going to cost us? And can't we just catch a break? This feels so unfair and the timing is just terrible. And when is enough enough...right?

And as soon as I got off the phone I just started laughing. Of course our car breaks down the day after Peter gets a job as a pizza delivery guy, which requires him to have a car. And of course our car breaks down the day after a coworker offers us a car, which I of course turned down because we already have two cars and we don't need three. Of course we'd face another trial, of course.

And as my little people sleep, and as I sit on my couch, crying out to the Lord, I am reminded of my utter desperation and need for Him.

And I found myself searching for the song Lord I Need You on YouTube.

Lord, I need You.

Oh I need you.

Every hour I need you.

My one defense, my righteousness.

Oh God how I need you.

Teach my soul to rise to you, when temptation comes my way.

And when I cannot stand, I'll fall on you.

Lord, I need you.

I just love that song. And if I have learned anything in this season it's that I need the Lord all the time in every season. May I never forget that.