Before we left, countless people asked if we were looking forward to the flight, and quite often I'd chuckle before responding. Because the reality is there are so many uncertainties, and those who have young children, especially those who have traveled long distances with young children get it. Traveling with young children is not for the faint of heart, and they understand why I laugh before responding to that question. I know they do. I can see it in their eyes at check in, at security, and even as they await finding their seats and getting settled in for the long haul. The truth is, we have absolutely NO idea what the flight holds as young kids are so unpredictable, we have no idea what awaits us or what we have to look forward to. Will they nap? Will they cry the whole time? Will they be entertained by the plethora of toys, games, activities that are filling up my carry on bag? Will they remain in their seat at least for the majority of the flight? Or will they want to walk up and down the aisles constantly? Will I get to sleep? Will I get to read my book or watch 15 minutes of a movie? Will I be able to eat my meal in peace? And the most recent one we've been asking ourselves is, will Jack be sick again and did I bring enough extra clothes for everyone? You get the point.
So it would go, they'd ask if we were looking forward to our trip, to our flight, and I'd laugh, and then I'd express my deep fondness for flying and traveling prior to kids. In fact, I was having this conversation with a coworker a few days before we left, and as I was describing to her just how much I LOVE traveling and flying and airports and all of it, she just smiled at me, and I said you can tell just how much I love it from the way I'm describing it huh? Truly though, the adventure for me begins as soon as we arrive at the airport. I'd say it begins as soon as I start packing my bags, but I really don't like the bag packing bit, or even the journey to the airport, but then once you arrive, the hustle begins and you can feel the adventures that await everyone around you.
And prior to kids, I really LOVED international flights. I loved the endless supply of movies at my fingertips, the time to just sit and read, the meals that came right to me, the drinks, the coffee, the free wine. I loved meeting my fellow passengers and hearing their stories about where they were coming from and where they were going and why. I loved the adventure of seeing new airports and navigating the unfamiliar. I loved going through immigration and getting my passport stamped!
I smile as I type all of this as I know so many of you are like ewww...I hate all of that! And I'm here to tell you that after having kids, I too hate some of that now! I not only pack a bag for myself, but I'm also packing a bag for two little people. And let's just say, we have so much gear. And this time we had more gear than ever before - we brought both carseats and a stroller and we actually checked a bag for the boys this time. My carry on is no longer full of my stuff, but full of the boys things. In fact, I didn't even bring the carry on that I would have used for just myself, as all of our stuff wouldn't have fit into it.
And security is a whole different story with kids. Again, so much stuff. And then trying to figure out how to entertain two little people on two flights for give or take 6 hours each, or more depending on your flight pattern. And my movie watching days are over along with my ability to just sit and be, but let it be known, I still manage to take advantage of the free wine. In fact, I think the flight attendants are even more generous with the free alcohol when you have kids in tow!! Case in point, on our earlier flight, I asked for a coffee, and the flight attendant asked, do you drink? I said excuse me as I wasn't quite sure where she was going with the question, and she said do you drink and would you like some baileys for your coffee? I proceeded to laugh and responded with a yes please! I'm not even sure it was noon yet. :)
And the more we travel with our kids, the more I enjoy the adventure. But it's just a different type of adventure. And I think the more I settle into the realization that this adventure is just as good, the more freedom I have to enjoy it.
So I wanted to follow up with this past post and share the things I've learned from traveling internationally with children.
On our flight from Philadelphia to Dublin, we sat across from a youngish girl (mid to late 20s?) that worked for a nanny agency, and she asked if this was our kids first trip to Dublin. And I said no, my husband is actually from here, and we were going back for my sister-in-laws wedding! And she asked me something about the kids' passports, and I proceeded to show her their passports with their baby passport photos enclosed and I'm sure I made some comment about adding another passport stamp to their book. I remember the pride I felt in that moment as I thought, our kids are such world travelers at such a young age! And the reality is, they won't know any different. Their first transatlantic flight was at one year of age, and my first transatlantic flight was when I was 18. If you're debating whether to travel internationally with your kids - just do it.
2. Lower your expectations.
I think this has been a game changer for me. If I go into it knowing that it's going to be hard, knowing that they may not nap, knowing that I may not get a chance to read my book or watch even the smallest bits of a movie, knowing that my patience will be tested, knowing that I'm going to have to get up out of my seat FAR more than I want to, then the smallest things feel like tremendous victories. Oh Ryan napped for 45 minutes and I was able to finish my book, hooray!! Oh that activity kept them entertained long enough for me to sit in my seat for 20 minutes, hooray!! Once we landed in Dublin, I turned to Peter and said, well that wasn't too bad! Jack did throw up twice, but whatever. We survived!
3. There is no ideal flight.
When we started looking into flights, I really wanted to leave at night around 6 PM and fly straight from Seattle to London via British Airways. I had the flight pattern picked out, and I informed Peter that THIS was going to be the dream flight. I mean hypothetically the boys would sleep like the entire flight as it was right around bedtime and we could watch an endless stream of movies, then once we got through the long flight, the second one from London to Dublin would be a breeze. But we actually ended up using miles, so that dream flight wasn't an option anymore.
Let's just say I was very reluctant to leave at 8:55 AM from Seatac as that would mean we'd be up so early and everyone would start off the journey already exhausted. But let's face it, it doesn't matter what time of day you leave or arrive, everyone's going to be exhausted regardless as traveling is simply exhausting. Our flight from Seatac to Philadelphia was fine - we had 3 seats together and one seat across the aisle, which wasn't all that ideal, but such is life. And Ryan napped for a short while, which meant I could finish my book!
And both of them slept for a good while on the second flight. Jack slept nearly the entire flight. We had 6 seats between the 4 of us, which was incredible as the kids could stretch out and Peter and I didn't have to forgo our laps to make it happen.
4. Airport play areas are a lifesaver.
We had a four hour layover in Philadelphia, and I remember thinking, that sounds dreadful. What are we going to do that long with 2 exhausted kids? I'd rather not spend that entire time chasing them around the airport. Well airport play area to the rescue! We somehow stumbled upon this as we walked to our gate for our flight to Dublin, and I was like Peter we MUST go back there. We can drop our stuff and the kids can play and play and play and they are more or less confined. It will be glorious, and let me tell you friends, it was. Does Seatac have something like this? Every single airport should have something like this!
I hardly bring anything on flights for myself these days. And we typically bring a backpack and a good sized duffle bag to throw all the boys things into - makes for easy access. And I typically organize it based on snacks, activities and extra clothes. I also had the boys bring their own little backpacks that they filled with toys and some snacks. I've learned to dress them in layered clothes, so I tend to pack their jackets in their checked luggage and I don't bother with bringing blankets for them anymore as the airlines have those. So we're pretty minimalist when it comes to what makes it in the bag, but the truth is, we still bring a ton of stuff. I always pack a good amount of snacks and far too many things to entertain them with. I'm learning to pare down even more as Jack obviously doesn't need his sleep sack even though he insisted I pack it and they truly don't need all the crayons and coloring books and books they managed to fit in the bag! Find small objects to entertain them with. I brought some window decals and they loved playing with those and they fit into a tiny plastic bag. Easy!
6. Bring a stroller.
We never leave home without one anymore and it's hard to get Ryan to ride in one, so quite often it's Jack in there, but it's so nice to have a place to put their bags and water bottles and whatever else will fit in the basket! And it's so nice to not have to be carrying them both along with all our non checked items.
7. Bring your own screen - Purchase a new movie for child ahead of time.
We've started doing this for Jack before we fly anywhere now, and it will buy us a good hour or so? Maybe more depending. Ryan's not so easily entertained by movies yet, so it may not work for the younger types. However, we didn't have the little screens on the backs of the chairs in front of us for either of our flights, so I would definitely recommend bringing your own screen.
8. Bring our own car seats.
This was the first time we've EVER done this! We normally rent carseats or just borrow them from someone there. But we figured it's hard to find two carseats to borrow, so we would bring our own this time. And it was so easy! Yes, we had extra stuff, but we put the carseats into carseat bags and just checked them with the rest of our luggage and then picked them up once we arrived with the rest of our luggage. And it was so nice to have our own seats, to know how the operated and how they buckled. However, most of the cars here are fairly small, so we've had to put Ryan forward facing as his seat can't go rear facing in the cars here.
9. And lastly, extend grace to your kids and to yourself and to those around you.
It's a long day and a long journey for everyone, so just sit back and enjoy the ride. And just know that each moment, each leg of the journey is a success to celebrate. Yes, we made it to the airport! Yes, our bags are checked! Yes, we made it through security! Yes, we're on the plane! Yes, we made it through one flight! Woohoo, only one more to go! And look around you and find your people, your fellow travelers who are hauling all their gear and their children around, and acknowledge those brave souls, as we're all in this together.
And know it will be one big mess and perhaps your kid may start screaming on the plane and perhaps you'll be a sweaty, exhausted mess when you realize you still have 6 hours left of the flight. And you just might be at your wits end, and thinking we're crazy to do this. Why are we doing this again? I would encourage you to stop and pause and just remember, it really is so worth it.
That Seattle to London flight leaving at 6 or 7pm is a dream flight. My kids slept nearly the whole flight!
ReplyDeleteLoved your tips about lowering expectations, I think that is the number one thing I say to people who are traveling with kids.
SeaTac does have a kids play area by the way!