Jet Lag

It's 5:45 AM here in Shoreline, and we've been back for a few days now, but we're still adjusting to the jet lag. I don't remember it being so bad or waking up so early upon our return in the past, but I'm sure that's been the case. However, this time, I feel like the jet lag's been way harder coming home then going there, and I don't remember it being this hard ever. I mean the boys have been waking up at 3:30 AM like every single morning since we've been home. Some mornings we can get one of them back to bed, or both of them, and some mornings we can't. This morning they woke up at 4:30, or Ryan did, and Jack woke up shortly after. I can't help but wonder when they'll get back to their 7:00 wake up time.

Let it be known, I am NOT a morning person, and those early mornings are rough...especially the darkness, the complete and utter darkness for hours upon end, and then it just means I'm exhausted come 8 PM, which is normally my prime time for myself. So it's been interesting adjusting back to say the least.

But that's jet lag after returning, let me share about the jet lag while there.

It was fun to read over my last post I wrote about jet lag from January as it's wild to think it was so different this time around. We didn't have any really early mornings. In fact our first few mornings we slept till 10 AM! What in the world? When was the last time any of you slept that late? I can't even remember the last time I slept past 8. But it probably helped that we didn't get to sleep till 1 or 2 AM.

I don't think there was a single morning where I woke up before the kids or where I was up in the middle of the night because I just couldn't sleep, but none of us went to bed quite as early as we have in the past, which I'm sure helps with the sleeping late part.

This time around, I think we were way more relaxed about the sleeping thing and there were some nights the kids didn't go to bed till 11 or 12! It felt so strange and so wild, but I think Peter and I just realized we could spend so much of our evening trying to force the kids to bed at an early time, which takes away from precious time with his family, or we could just put them to bed late and make the most of our evening time with them. 

So the kids went to bed late the first few nights, but they'd fall asleep so fast, and the first few nights they'd wake up just a few hours as if they were waking from a nap, which was a bit of a pain, but then we'd just put a show on for them or feed them some food if they were hungry and just let them enter into our adult space rather than spend an hour or so trying to force them back to sleep, and then we'd try the bedtime routine again in an hour or so, and more often than not it worked!

There weren't too many nights where we felt like we were fighting the kids to go back to bed. But there have definitely been nights where we thought to ourselves, they're exhausted and they should go to bed, but the truth is, they'll probably just wake up in an hour or so.

After about a week, I'd say the kids fully adjusted to the time difference. I mean they'd still fall asleep in the car and what not at strange times, but that's okay. For the most part they'd go to bed pretty easily, but not quite as early as they'd go to bed at home, but again, I'm okay with that.

Anyhow, as I've said before, jet lag is a beast that takes far too long to tame and then by the time you tame it, you're getting back on a plane to go home! It's actually really helped to read through my past jet lag posts (here and here and here) as it's really normalized all that we went through.

But I think I forgot about the jet lag once you get home as that's pretty beastly too!

All that to say, don't let the fear of jet lag stop you from traveling internationally or domestically with kids, as it's all worth it in the end, and it forces everyone to become adaptable, and allows us to see just how adaptable our kids are!

Traveling Internationally with Kids

Before we left, countless people asked if we were looking forward to the flight, and quite often I'd chuckle before responding. Because the reality is there are so many uncertainties, and those who have young children, especially those who have traveled long distances with young children get it. Traveling with young children is not for the faint of heart, and they understand why I laugh before responding to that question. I know they do. I can see it in their eyes at check in, at security, and even as they await finding their seats and getting settled in for the long haul. The truth is, we have absolutely NO idea what the flight holds as young kids are so unpredictable, we have no idea what awaits us or what we have to look forward to. Will they nap? Will they cry the whole time? Will they be entertained by the plethora of toys, games, activities that are filling up my carry on bag? Will they remain in their seat at least for the majority of the flight? Or will they want to walk up and down the aisles constantly? Will I get to sleep? Will I get to read my book or watch 15 minutes of a movie? Will I be able to eat my meal in peace? And the most recent one we've been asking ourselves is, will Jack be sick again and did I bring enough extra clothes for everyone? You get the point.

So it would go, they'd ask if we were looking forward to our trip, to our flight, and I'd laugh, and then I'd express my deep fondness for flying and traveling prior to kids. In fact, I was having this conversation with a coworker a few days before we left, and as I was describing to her just how much I LOVE traveling and flying and airports and all of it, she just smiled at me, and I said you can tell just how much I love it from the way I'm describing it huh? Truly though, the adventure for me begins as soon as we arrive at the airport. I'd say it begins as soon as I start packing my bags, but I really don't like the bag packing bit, or even the journey to the airport, but then once you arrive, the hustle begins and you can feel the adventures that await everyone around you.

And prior to kids, I really LOVED international flights. I loved the endless supply of movies at my fingertips, the time to just sit and read, the meals that came right to me, the drinks, the coffee, the free wine. I loved meeting my fellow passengers and hearing their stories about where they were coming from and where they were going and why. I loved the adventure of seeing new airports and navigating the unfamiliar. I loved going through immigration and getting my passport stamped!

I smile as I type all of this as I know so many of you are like ewww...I hate all of that! And I'm here to tell you that after having kids, I too hate some of that now! I not only pack a bag for myself, but I'm also packing a bag for two little people. And let's just say, we have so much gear. And this time we had more gear than ever before - we brought both carseats and a stroller and we actually checked a bag for the boys this time. My carry on is no longer full of my stuff, but full of the boys things. In fact, I didn't even bring the carry on that I would have used for just myself, as all of our stuff wouldn't have fit into it.

And security is a whole different story with kids. Again, so much stuff. And then trying to figure out how to entertain two little people on two flights for give or take 6 hours each, or more depending on your flight pattern. And my movie watching days are over along with my ability to just sit and be, but let it be known, I still manage to take advantage of the free wine. In fact, I think the flight attendants are even more generous with the free alcohol when you have kids in tow!! Case in point, on our earlier flight, I asked for a coffee, and the flight attendant asked, do you drink? I said excuse me as I wasn't quite sure where she was going with the question, and she said do you drink and would you like some baileys for your coffee? I proceeded to laugh and responded with a yes please! I'm not even sure it was noon yet. :)

And the more we travel with our kids, the more I enjoy the adventure. But it's just a different type of adventure. And I think the more I settle into the realization that this adventure is just as good, the more freedom I have to enjoy it.

So I wanted to follow up with this past post and share the things I've learned from traveling internationally with children.  

1. Just do it - International Travel opens the world up to your kids.

On our flight from Philadelphia to Dublin, we sat across from a youngish girl (mid to late 20s?) that worked for a nanny agency, and she asked if this was our kids first trip to Dublin. And I said no, my husband is actually from here, and we were going back for my sister-in-laws wedding! And she asked me something about the kids' passports, and I proceeded to show her their passports with their baby passport photos enclosed and I'm sure I made some comment about adding another passport stamp to their book. I remember the pride I felt in that moment as I thought, our kids are such world travelers at such a young age! And the reality is, they won't know any different. Their first transatlantic flight was at one year of age, and my first transatlantic flight was when I was 18. If you're debating whether to travel internationally with your kids - just do it.

2. Lower your expectations.

I think this has been a game changer for me. If I go into it knowing that it's going to be hard, knowing that they may not nap, knowing that I may not get a chance to read my book or watch even the smallest bits of a movie, knowing that my patience will be tested, knowing that I'm going to have to get up out of my seat FAR more than I want to, then the smallest things feel like tremendous victories. Oh Ryan napped for 45 minutes and I was able to finish my book, hooray!! Oh that activity kept them entertained long enough for me to sit in my seat for 20 minutes, hooray!! Once we landed in Dublin, I turned to Peter and said, well that wasn't too bad! Jack did throw up twice, but whatever. We survived!

3. There is no ideal flight.

When we started looking into flights, I really wanted to leave at night around 6 PM and fly straight from Seattle to London via British Airways. I had the flight pattern picked out, and I informed Peter that THIS was going to be the dream flight. I mean hypothetically the boys would sleep like the entire flight as it was right around bedtime and we could watch an endless stream of movies, then once we got through the long flight, the second one from London to Dublin would be a breeze. But we actually ended up using miles, so that dream flight wasn't an option anymore.

Let's just say I was very reluctant to leave at 8:55 AM from Seatac as that would mean we'd be up so early and everyone would start off the journey already exhausted. But let's face it, it doesn't matter what time of day you leave or arrive, everyone's going to be exhausted regardless as traveling is simply exhausting. Our flight from Seatac to Philadelphia was fine - we had 3 seats together and one seat across the aisle, which wasn't all that ideal, but such is life. And Ryan napped for a short while, which meant I could finish my book!

And both of them slept for a good while on the second flight. Jack slept nearly the entire flight. We had 6 seats between the 4 of us, which was incredible as the kids could stretch out and Peter and I didn't have to forgo our laps to make it happen.

4. Airport play areas are a lifesaver.

We had a four hour layover in Philadelphia, and I remember thinking, that sounds dreadful. What are we going to do that long with 2 exhausted kids? I'd rather not spend that entire time chasing them around the airport. Well airport play area to the rescue! We somehow stumbled upon this as we walked to our gate for our flight to Dublin, and I was like Peter we MUST go back there. We can drop our stuff and the kids can play and play and play and they are more or less confined. It will be glorious, and let me tell you friends, it was. Does Seatac have something like this? Every single airport should have something like this!

5. Pack your carry on wisely.

I hardly bring anything on flights for myself these days. And we typically bring a backpack and a good sized duffle bag to throw all the boys things into - makes for easy access. And I typically organize it based on snacks, activities and extra clothes. I also had the boys bring their own little backpacks that they filled with toys and some snacks. I've learned to dress them in layered clothes, so I tend to pack their jackets in their checked luggage and I don't bother with bringing blankets for them anymore as the airlines have those. So we're pretty minimalist when it comes to what makes it in the bag, but the truth is, we still bring a ton of stuff. I always pack a good amount of snacks and far too many things to entertain them with. I'm learning to pare down even more as Jack obviously doesn't need his sleep sack even though he insisted I pack it and they truly don't need all the crayons and coloring books and books they managed to fit in the bag! Find small objects to entertain them with. I brought some window decals and they loved playing with those and they fit into a tiny plastic bag. Easy!

6. Bring a stroller.

We never leave home without one anymore and it's hard to get Ryan to ride in one, so quite often it's Jack in there, but it's so nice to have a place to put their bags and water bottles and whatever else will fit in the basket! And it's so nice to not have to be carrying them both along with all our non checked items.

7. Bring your own screen - Purchase a new movie for child ahead of time. 

We've started doing this for Jack before we fly anywhere now, and it will buy us a good hour or so? Maybe more depending. Ryan's not so easily entertained by movies yet, so it may not work for the younger types. However, we didn't have the little screens on the backs of the chairs in front of us for either of our flights, so I would definitely recommend bringing your own screen.

8. Bring our own car seats.

This was the first time we've EVER done this! We normally rent carseats or just borrow them from someone there. But we figured it's hard to find two carseats to borrow, so we would bring our own this time. And it was so easy! Yes, we had extra stuff, but we put the carseats into carseat bags and just checked them with the rest of our luggage and then picked them up once we arrived with the rest of our luggage. And it was so nice to have our own seats, to know how the operated and how they buckled. However, most of the cars here are fairly small, so we've had to put Ryan forward facing as his seat can't go rear facing in the cars here.

9. And lastly, extend grace to your kids and to yourself and to those around you.

It's a long day and a long journey for everyone, so just sit back and enjoy the ride. And just know that each moment, each leg of the journey is a success to celebrate. Yes, we made it to the airport! Yes, our bags are checked! Yes, we made it through security! Yes, we're on the plane! Yes, we made it through one flight! Woohoo, only one more to go! And look around you and find your people, your fellow travelers who are hauling all their gear and their children around, and acknowledge those brave souls, as we're all in this together. 

And know it will be one big mess and perhaps your kid may start screaming on the plane and perhaps you'll be a sweaty, exhausted mess when you realize you still have 6 hours left of the flight. And you just might be at your wits end, and thinking we're crazy to do this. Why are we doing this again? I would encourage you to stop and pause and just remember, it really is so worth it.

Things I've Learned from Traveling Internationally with Children

Oh the joys of traveling internationally with children and the jet lag that ensues. I think it's wise to have very low expectations, to be extremely flexible and adaptable, and for grace to abound. And to remember that the cranky kids and the sleepless nights will come to an end and in the end it's all worth it.

I think the hardest part of traveling with children though is everything that happens before you get to your gate. You just have ALL of your stuff - your suitcases, your carry ons, the stroller, etc, and once you check your bags, you then have security, which entails unpacking all your stuff you had just packed that morning, and taking your shoes off and your coat off, all while wearing a baby, and then having to pack everything back up, put your shoes back on and your coat back on and that baby back on. It's just complicated and I dread it every single time. But once you're through security, everything after that just feels easy.

The flight over here wasn't bad at all. We departed Seatac around 1:30 PM and flew straight to Amsterdam. We were incredibly blessed with a row of four seats. Jack had his own seat this time around and Ryan was on my lap, but once the plane took off, I was able to put Ryan in his own seat. It was so nice to have my lap if even for a short time. The flight to Amsterdam was about 10 hours, and I know some of you may be thinking that is SUCH a long flight with two kids, but honestly, I'd take a long flight over a shorter one any day. It allowed us to truly get settled in as we knew we would be there awhile! And it also allowed the kids to sleep a bit.

And they did really good for the most part. Jack watched a few movies, behaved himself for the most part, and finally fell asleep about an hour or two before we landed. So he was an absolute mess when we woke him up to get him buckled in for landing, and he proceeded to whine/cry for the next 30 minutes (or maybe longer) while we landed and taxied on the runway. It felt like a lifetime, but I suppose it could have been worse. I just kept saying, "I know...you're just exhausted" hoping that would excuse his behavior while I tried desperately to calm him down. Ryan was a little bit more work and required a little bit more entertaining, but that's just his age. He's such a wiggle worm these days and wants to be everywhere at once. But when we got off the plane in Amsterdam, I was so relieved! I turned to Peter and said "We did it!" The longest and hardest part of our journey was over. I assumed the rest would be easy.

And I was right. We had a two hour layover, which flew by and then our next flight took us from Amsterdam to Dublin, and it wasn't even a two hour flight. But somehow Jack managed to sleep nearly the whole flight. That kid was exhausted! As was Ryan, but that kid just wanted to take everything in and smile at everyone rather than close his eyes and sleep. And before we knew it we had landed in Dublin and Peter's sister Ruth was awaiting our arrival and all we had left of our long journey was a 2 hour drive to Belfast. As far as I was concerned our journey to Ireland was more or less finished and the next journey we would embark on would be adjusting to the 8 hour time difference. But the jet lag journey deserves it's own post for another day. As far as I'm concerned, jet lag is a beast that takes far too long to tame and for the ease of international travel, I wish it didn't exist, but alas it does.

Here are nine things I've learned from traveling internationally with children.

1. Book a flight pattern with a LONG flight and by long I mean more than 6 hours. I love LONG flights and I'm perfectly happy to do a direct flight to Amsterdam or London every time if that's an option and a reasonable price as a 10 hour flight vs a five hour flight provides you with more opportunities for the kids to sleep and more movie time for the parents. You guys, I somehow managed to watch three movies, from start to finish.

2. Even better, book a LONG evening flight. An evening flight is probably more ideal than an afternoon flight, but again, only if that's an option and a reasonable price. We would have had to pay a couple hundred extra to leave at 6 PM, so we passed on that option, but if money wasn't an option, we'd book the evening flight. Again, increases the probability that the kids will sleep and more movie time for the parents.

3. Pack your carry on wisely. I thought I had, but realized after the fact that I packed WAY too much stuff for them on the flight over and there were quite a few things we didn't even touch like blankets and toys and books.

4. The little screen on the back of the chair will be your best friend. Announce to your toddler that today there is no limit to screen time! Your toddler (and everyone else on the plane for that matter) will benefit from the additional screen time said toddler will get. It's okay if he watches 2 movies in a row. It's not the end of the world and tomorrow is a new day!

5. Little wrapped gifts may be a waste of time? I had wrapped up a bunch of little presents for Jack to unwrap as the flight went on. And if I'm incredibly honest, he wasn't all that intrigued by them and they didn't really entertain him for all that long. I won't be doing that again.

6. Test out Benadryl or drowsy medicine before you fly. We had bought some Benadryl for Jack to take for the plane in hopes of making him drowsy. And he was sick before we left, so I gave it to him a few times at night time, and let me tell you, it had the opposite effect on him and actually made him hyper.

7. Bring our own car seats. This is something we have never done, but we will definitely do this next time in order to save everyone the hassle. The car seats are different here, which seems strange to me just because every country has car seats and I just imagine that they'll be just like ours, but they're different I tell ya! The brands might be similar, but the make of the car seat is actually different.

8. And bring a stroller. We never use to travel with one, but now that we have two kids, it's glorious to have one at the airport so that you can strap one kid in and wear the other.

9. And lastly, extend grace to your kids and to yourself. And know that patience and flexibility goes a long way during your travel journey and when you arrive.

And that's all I have for now folks. I'm sure I'll learn even more things after our journey home.