Jet Lag

It's 5:45 AM here in Shoreline, and we've been back for a few days now, but we're still adjusting to the jet lag. I don't remember it being so bad or waking up so early upon our return in the past, but I'm sure that's been the case. However, this time, I feel like the jet lag's been way harder coming home then going there, and I don't remember it being this hard ever. I mean the boys have been waking up at 3:30 AM like every single morning since we've been home. Some mornings we can get one of them back to bed, or both of them, and some mornings we can't. This morning they woke up at 4:30, or Ryan did, and Jack woke up shortly after. I can't help but wonder when they'll get back to their 7:00 wake up time.

Let it be known, I am NOT a morning person, and those early mornings are rough...especially the darkness, the complete and utter darkness for hours upon end, and then it just means I'm exhausted come 8 PM, which is normally my prime time for myself. So it's been interesting adjusting back to say the least.

But that's jet lag after returning, let me share about the jet lag while there.

It was fun to read over my last post I wrote about jet lag from January as it's wild to think it was so different this time around. We didn't have any really early mornings. In fact our first few mornings we slept till 10 AM! What in the world? When was the last time any of you slept that late? I can't even remember the last time I slept past 8. But it probably helped that we didn't get to sleep till 1 or 2 AM.

I don't think there was a single morning where I woke up before the kids or where I was up in the middle of the night because I just couldn't sleep, but none of us went to bed quite as early as we have in the past, which I'm sure helps with the sleeping late part.

This time around, I think we were way more relaxed about the sleeping thing and there were some nights the kids didn't go to bed till 11 or 12! It felt so strange and so wild, but I think Peter and I just realized we could spend so much of our evening trying to force the kids to bed at an early time, which takes away from precious time with his family, or we could just put them to bed late and make the most of our evening time with them. 

So the kids went to bed late the first few nights, but they'd fall asleep so fast, and the first few nights they'd wake up just a few hours as if they were waking from a nap, which was a bit of a pain, but then we'd just put a show on for them or feed them some food if they were hungry and just let them enter into our adult space rather than spend an hour or so trying to force them back to sleep, and then we'd try the bedtime routine again in an hour or so, and more often than not it worked!

There weren't too many nights where we felt like we were fighting the kids to go back to bed. But there have definitely been nights where we thought to ourselves, they're exhausted and they should go to bed, but the truth is, they'll probably just wake up in an hour or so.

After about a week, I'd say the kids fully adjusted to the time difference. I mean they'd still fall asleep in the car and what not at strange times, but that's okay. For the most part they'd go to bed pretty easily, but not quite as early as they'd go to bed at home, but again, I'm okay with that.

Anyhow, as I've said before, jet lag is a beast that takes far too long to tame and then by the time you tame it, you're getting back on a plane to go home! It's actually really helped to read through my past jet lag posts (here and here and here) as it's really normalized all that we went through.

But I think I forgot about the jet lag once you get home as that's pretty beastly too!

All that to say, don't let the fear of jet lag stop you from traveling internationally or domestically with kids, as it's all worth it in the end, and it forces everyone to become adaptable, and allows us to see just how adaptable our kids are!

Jet Lag

So it's 5:45 AM here and I've been up since 3 AM and rather than continue tossing and turning in my bed, I decided to just get up.

So I grabbed a sweatshirt and all my essential items (computer, kindle, journal, etc) and plodded down the stairs to the kitchen where I made myself a cup of coffee and poured myself a bowl of cheerios. And I sit here cherishing the stillness of the morning.

And I'm loving that stillness, the early morning dates with the husband, the middle of the night play sessions, the afternoon naps, and the extra snuggles with my tired boys. It's felt so good to just sit and be...together. That's our agenda. And it's beautiful.

But let it be known that I am NOT a morning person, I am definitely a night owl. Always have been and most likely always will be. But I feel like I become a morning person every single time I come here, every single time there's a time difference. At home I normally wake up rather reluctantly to the cries of my children, and here, quite often I wake up to my own accord, probably FAR too early and then when the cries of my children come, I'm excited to hear them and to see the little people that those cries belong to.

Anyhow, as I've said before, jet lag is a beast that takes far too long to tame and then by the time you tame it, you're getting back on a plane to go home! It's actually really helped to read through my past jet lag posts (here and here) as it's really normalized all that we're currently going through.

I definitely think jet lag is easier on your kids the older they get, and it's definitely easier when they aren't napping anymore, which is the case for Jack. So if he naps during the day here it feels like a bonus, but then it probably means he won't sleep as well or as long at night. It's a learning curve people. And it feels like one big experiment, oh they napped for 3 hours today, maybe that explains why they are up at midnight ready to play and party!!

We're entering into our 4th day here today as we arrived early Tuesday morning, and we survived our 3rd night. The first night the boys were utterly exhausted and Ryan slept for 16 hours nonstop! I kept checking on him to make sure he was breathing as he was so still the whole night, and I don't even know if he made a single noise all night. Jack I'm sure was a different story as he normally wakes up at least once a night when we're at home, so I didn't expect anything less from him. But I do think they both slept really good that first night, so I think Peter and I were really hopeful and thinking wow is this how they overcome jet lag, with one long sleep session?

Haha! I can laugh now as our last 2 nights have looked very different than that first night! One night Ryan woke up crying around 11 PM and then Jack woke up and Peter took Jack to our bed, while Ryan and I crawled into Jack's bed. Ryan proceeded to talk to me, while stroking my face and tossing and turning endlessly. Around 12 AM, I finally gave into the fact that he was not going to bed, which meant I wasn't going to bed either, so I turned on the bedroom light and grabbed Jack from the other room, and the boys played for an hour or so before we attempted even putting them back to bed.

And it worked! They fell back to sleep with such ease.

And last night Ryan woke up at 10 PM and Jack soon after due to Ryan's crying again. And Peter grabbed Ryan out of his bed and let him play for an hour or so while I tried to get Jack to bed, which finally resulted in me letting him watch a show on the ipad, and then everyone was fast asleep by 11:30 PM.

We're learning to give in to their middle of the night shenanigans and to let them get their wiggles out as it means everyone sleeps better in the long run. And then I don't get as frustrated or annoyed because I haven't spent hours trying to get them back to bed. Let's just say we're learning how to navigate it all from the mistakes we've made.

And naps help. There have been several times already where I've offered to put Jack to bed at night or to lay with him during the day if I think he could nap as it means I get a quick nap in myself, which is amazing, says the one who never naps ...ever.

Jet lag is a beast, but kids are so resilient and adaptable. If I'm honest, I think the jet lag thing might be harder on the parents than the kids as we are the ones with the sleep agendas. We go to bed at a certain time and hope that we'll get a certain amount of sleep at night. And then our kids wake up in the middle of the night and that agenda is tossed out the door, and we learn rather quickly that we no longer have control over the amount of hours we sleep. Let's just say I can't imagine our kids have the same sleep agenda, haha! If only they did, then sleep deprived parents wouldn't exist right? And how boring would that be! However, I think we learn all this before we even get on a plane and travel internationally with our kids.

Needless to say, the sleep deprivation is so worth it. Don't let that stop you from traveling across time zones with your kids. It's all so worth it. This I know. And these moments with Peter's family and our kids are moments we will treasure always. And the jet lag and sleep deprivation will eventually come to an end (right?), but the memories will remain. And for that, I am forever grateful.

And I leave you with a glimpse into our middle of the night shenanigans! Thanking God for coffee and restful days and the stamina to endure nights like this.

Jet lag.

As I wrote in this post, jet lag is a beast that takes far too long to tame and for the ease of international travel, I wish it didn't exist, but alas it does. However, I have realized that it's easier on your children the older they get, and I'd say it's easier on you the older you get, but I don't necessarily know if that's the case. I'm no spring chicken, so I don't just bounce back from a lack of sleep like I use to, but my body is use to interrupted sleep, which I suppose may be to my advantage with jet lag. 

Anyhow, we have been here 11 days now, and I think it took the kids about 7 days before they started going to bed at a normal time. It was really hard trying to figure them out and adjust with them to a different schedule and sleep pattern before they fully reverted to their original sleep patterns. Ryan was hardly awake at all the first few days. I think one day he was awake for like 45 minutes before he went down for his first nap. We were making jokes about him just sleeping the entire trip away. Have no fear that has not been the case. 

The first few nights were the hardest as the boys were literally waking up in the night and staying awake for hours on end. One night Ryan was awake from 10-12 AM and then Jack woke up right after that and was awake till 2 or 3 AM. There were a few nights like that actually. And that was rough as Peter and I just wanted to sleep but our kids were wide awake wanting to be entertained. And Jack kept waking up screaming that he was scared and every single night he has landed himself in our bed, all for the sake of sleep and survival. There were a few mornings where we all slept till ten and I’m sure those were the mornings when they had been awake in the wee hours of the night.

You guys jet lag is real and it is hard and really confusing for kids and for adults as Peter and I have been falling asleep everywhere. And there have been numerous nights where I have gone to bed soon after Jack has. I had high hopes for reading and working in bed, but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. All that to say, I know it does come to an end, eventually, and then you begin the journey home and have to do it all over again. Haha! In all honesty though, it has helped to look back at the last post I wrote about jet lag and what we went through the first time with Jack.

And I can look back on that now and praise God that this time it is different! I can honestly say if your baby is a good sleeper, then this jet lag thing will be a breeze. Ryan is an incredible sleeper and he has adjusted much more easily than Jack did at that age and even than Jack has now. And maybe we're better at reading him and anticipating when he's tired before he gets past the point of no return, which is where we took Jack far too may times. I have tried my best to honor Ryan's nap times, especially his morning nap, and we normally don't venture too far from home till after that one. And then I normally put him down for an afternoon nap whenever we get home from said adventure and sometimes he'll even have a third nap. It all just depends, but he's going to bed just after six, just like he does at home. And he’s napping around the same time as he does at home. And I am definitely not spending 2-3 hours putting him to bed. Thank you Jesus! He naps with ease and goes to bed with ease and even when he does wake up in the night, I just have to feed him and he goes right back to sleep. I'm sure we'll have to sleep train him again when we get home as he was sleeping straight through the night before we left, but whatever. We can handle that.

Now Jack on the other hand has always had issues sleeping, so I'm not surprised he's decided to forgo his naps and forgo his bed for mama and dadas bed while here, and I'm praying this doesn't continue when we get home. And if I'm incredibly honest, a part of me thinks we created his sleeping issues. We've always done things to facilitate Jack's sleeping whether it's patting his back, lying with him or singing him songs. And I don’t think that’s helped him much. I’m hoping we can get him napping again and sleeping in his own bed all for the sake of a bit of sanity for everyone once we get back home.

All in all, the kids have been a dream. Ryan’s just as sweet as always, with a few more tears and whimpers thrown in there simply out of sheer exhaustion. And I get it. I’m tired too. And he’s definitely a little mamas boy, but nowhere near as bad as Jack was when we were here last. He’s more than happy to go into other people’s arms just as long as he knows mama or dada aren’t too far away. And Jack, well he’s still crazy. That kid has so much energy and he just goes and goes and goes. And he goes stir crazy if he doesn’t get outside at least once a day, which is fine and all, but the weather hasn’t been all that great since we’ve arrived. However, we haven’t let that stop us!

But let’s just say by the end of the day Peter and I are tired. And there have been a handful of times where I have put Ryan down for a nap or put him down for the night and I find myself crawling into bed and pulling the blanket up in hopes of getting a quick nap to get me through the rest of the day/night. And I don’t think a night has gone by that Peter hasn’t fallen asleep himself while putting Jack to bed. I’m now in the habit of going upstairs to check on them (and waking Peter from his slumber) an hour after their departure from the living room.

All that to say it’s all so worth it. This I know. And these moments with Peter’s family and our kids are moments we will treasure always. And the jet lag and sleep deprivation will come to an end, but the memories will remain. And for that, I am grateful.

Jet lag.

So we have been here 5 full days now, and Jack is finally going to bed at a normal time.  Man, I thought jet lag was hard on adults, but let me tell you, the poor baby is suffering the most, well mom is suffering too from the poor baby's suffering.  1 AM is not an ideal bedtime for anyone, and I'd rather not spend 2-3 hours of my night trying to put my baby to sleep.  I'd rather be decorating the Christmas tree, listening to Christmas carols and drinking beer (sounds selfish, trust me I know!).  He is rubbing his eyes and yawning all the time now, and he falls asleep as soon as we get into the car, as do I - Exhibit A in the photo above.  We are tired.

I haven’t traveled outside of the country in a few years, and I think I thought I was immune to jet lag or something crazy like that.  But let me tell you, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch last night and I almost fell out of my seat on the bus and I fall asleep nearly every time I crawl into bed to feed Jack, made us late to dinner yesterday because I fell asleep - oops!  Stuart, Peter's brother, said ...you don't seem to be suffering from jet lag much, and Peter said, well probably because we have been jet lagged for 11 months now.  So true!  I just said, I'm use to the lack of sleep now - so I think my body is starting to function on less.

And yes, jet lag for babies is rough as it's so confusing for them.  And we have Jack on such a great schedule at home that's predictable most of the time.  His morning naps are getting less predictable, but we know around when he naps and how long he will nap for, and we know when he goes to bed, and he falls asleep so easily at home, normally begging for bed time.  And here nothing is constant or predictable, and that's hard for me.  He may sleep for an hour at night and wake up ready to play until 12 or 1.  And he's so overtired that getting him to sleep is my worst nightmare.  I have never heard this child cry like he has here...oh it's so sad.  Breaks my heart to think about it.  Last night I literally just put him in his crib and crawled into bed and put the covers up over my head and bunched up into a ball.  I too wanted to cry.  And when Peter came upstairs to check on us, I just said, I don't know what to do...as the only thing that consoles him is feeding nonstop and sleeping in bed with us.  And all I wanted to do was join in on the fun with the adults.  

And as I type this, I'm realizing just how selfish that is.  The poor bub just wants his mom.  And he is definitely suffering from separation anxiety and he loves to have mom within eyesight.  Who knows if this is because he is just flat out tired or if this is a stage he is entering into, or perhaps both?  Don't get me wrong, I love my child, and I’m so thankful for him, and I love the fact that he reaches for me and knows me, and finds comfort in me, but I must say it's utterly exhausting when you're tired and you are THE person for this one little being.  I think I just figured that we would have extra help with all the extra hands, and I never once thought about how Jack might respond to all those extra hands or how he may favor one set of hands over another.  However, I can honestly say, he's changing.  He's getting use to all the sweet faces and all the love and the extra hands, and he's showing more of his true self.  And I know this stage won't last forever, and I should truly be cherishing this time and these sweet moments we have together and the comfort he finds in me as I am truly blessed.

I mean look at this sweet face!  How can you not want cuddles from him?  How can you not want him to nuzzle his little face into your neck?  

And this one...

Tonight was a different night though - Jack actually went to sleep around 8.  Christmas miracle I tell ya, well Jesus is the real Christmas miracle, but this was pretty great.  It's wonderful to have some time in the evening to just sit and rest, even if it was only an hour.  

However, I did fall asleep while putting Jack to bed, and woke up and immediately glanced at my phone, which said it was 4, and I instantly presumed it was 4 AM.  I was shocked I had slept for so long, couldn't believe my husband wasn't in bed yet.  And as I heard the rumbling sounds of laughter coming from downstairs, I instantly thought oh no...haha! The boys (men) are still up...which means Peter may not be his best self tomorrow, which means we may get a later start on everything than I wanted, which means I may be on my own with Jack in the AM so that Peter can sleep.  And then I realized it was only 10 PM, and I remembered my phone was 6 hours behind.  Best news of the night...the night was still young.  So of course, I ran down the stairs as fast as I could to join in on the fun...didn't want to miss another moment.

And then the baby woke up ...an hour later.

But don't worry he went back to bed in no time, so I was able to finish this post.

Sending so much love from the Emerald Isle,

Malia