A Letter to my Littlest Man

To my littlest man,

We are so proud of you and how far you’ve come in just two weeks! You still have a long way to go, but you just look so much better. You are making weight gains. You’ve already had two blood transfusions, all sorts of breathing machines, a cranium scan (results were clear), IVs, a PIC line, a Patent Ductus Arteriosus (PDA), which is basically a heart murmur that you will most likely grow out of, and lots of ECHOs as a result of that. You’ve been poked and prodded far too many times to count.

And I held you for the first time last week, Thursday April 24th to be exact, 10 days after you left my womb and entered into this world! I walked into your room and soon after your lovely nurse Dani asked if I wanted to hold you. I found myself unsure as to what to say to be honest. I wanted your dad to be there for this monumental moment, but he was fully supportive of me doing it without him there.

Just the day before I’d cried on my home from the hospital, and made this video just talking about how hard this has been, to sit beside your bed, to just watch you, to see friends still pregnant and friends with their full term babes in their arms.

And just that morning, I’d gone to visit my dear friend and her new babe that we’d been praying over for months! And it was so good for my heart to hold a normal sized baby and to feel the weight of that babe in my arms. And then to be given the gift of holding you that same day my sweet boy, what a gift from the Lord! To feel the weight of you on my chest, you were as light as a feather! And your itty bitty hand, oh so small in mine.

What a blessing my little man, what a blessing!

And these videos are everything.

Love you so very much!

mama