Marriage musings.

My darling brother quoted a friend on Saturday night, and I can't remember the context of the conversation, but I can definitely remember what he said...

"I thought I was selfless, and then I got married!"

I loved this statement so much and I wanted to share it.  It's so true isn't it?  I too could say that, I thought I was selfLESS, and then I got married, and only then did I realize just how selFISH I actually was.

It was easy for me to serve my family and my friends and my fiance/boyfriend (not yet my husband) because there was normally a start and end time to that service.  It wasn't continuous.  And then I got married, and it was continuous, and I had ALL these beautiful opportunities to serve my husband, and I did, when it was convenient for me.  But there were definitely moments where I dug my heels and made my voice heard - many days where I declared I didn't want to fold his laundry, I didn't want to make him dinner, I didn't want to do his dishes.  

As I write this, I can't help but notice the frequent use of the pronoun, "His", in my previous paragraph.  I think my heart began to change when I stopped using that word - when I stopped labeling things as mine and his and started seeing things as ours.  

And I smile as I type this because tonight - as he was getting in the shower, I told him that I was going to heat up dinner, and wash his (note use of pronoun..oops!) dishes from lunch while watching the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy.  And I was perfectly content with this and excited for my little tasks.  And as he closed the bathroom door, he simply said "THANK YOU!"  (I am by no means trying to toot my own horn, just simply stating the facts, in hopes of demonstrating a small area of growth.)

I have learned over the years of marriage that humility and the ability to forgive and forgot goes a LONG ways!  I have also learned that there is nothing more beautiful than serving the other person without expecting anything in return.  I am getting there...it may be a slow journey...but I am a work in progress aren't I?  And I would like to think that over the years I have become less selFISH and more selfLESS.  

Thank you Jesus for being patient with me, and thank you husband for loving me regardless of my selfish tendencies.