Desiring more.

Lately, I have been desiring a deeper intimacy with Christ.

I yearn for something deeper.  I desire more.

Yet, instead of clinging to Christ, I find that I look to other people for inspiration.  I am inspired by their intimacy with Christ, and I want what they have.  And quite often that inspiration slowly turns to despair as I begin to think about how much farther I have to go.  And quite often I feel as though I fall short.  I am so critical of myself.  I am always wanting more...more...more, and I am never satisfied with where I am at with the Lord.  I always think I should be serving more, praying more, reading more, learning more.

You get the point right?  I desire a deeper relationship with Christ - and nothing is wrong with that right?  The desire is real and it is valid.  Yet, amidst that desire, I compare and I covet and I criticize.

It is so easy for me to discredit the work of the Lord.  It is so easy for me to think about how much more room I have to grow rather than to think about the work He has already done in me.  Why is this so often the case?  Why is it so easy for me to forget about God's grace in my own life?

I long for this year to be different.  I long for 2012 to be the beginning of something beautiful!

I want to be inspired by others, and I want that inspiration to carry me to a deeper level of intimacy with Christ, and I want to be quick to recognize God's goodness and grace in my life.  I don't think that's too much to ask.  Do you?