At church a few weeks ago, our Pastor spoke about Nostalgia. I can't even remember all the bits that he shared in his sermon, but I just remember him using the word over and over and the way it rolled off his tongue and the way it made me nostalgic for a certain time in my life.
And as he talked about the importance of living in the present rather than living in the past and yearning for a different time and place in one's life, I sat there feeling nostalgic. I sat there yearning for a different time and place. And I spent the rest of the church service thinking about that time and place, who I was in that place and how much easier and less complicated life seemed then. I think I even came home and looked at photos from that time and even read journal entries to fully take me back to that girl and her thoughts at that time, and I remember getting emotional.
My moment of nostalgia took me back 10 years, to when I was 22, such a young thing. It was Spring of '06, my final quarter at UW, and I was boarding a plane to Mexico where I would be studying Race and Culture alongside other UW students for 3 months, while living and attending class in a resort called Rancho Buena Vista. My days consisted of reading, studying, attending class, eating food, laying by the pool, sunbathing, drinking an assortment of bevies (alcoholic and nonalcoholic), walks on the beach and walks into town, weekend adventures, and some really good conversations with classmates.
I laughed, I loved, I cried. I grew so much during this time.
I felt free to be who I truly was.
I took walks on the beach alone every single day, and listened to music and sang my heart out and twirled around and stuck my toes in the sand, and reflected on everything from my faith, to my friendships, to Peter, to my little world back home, to all the things I had been taught in the past and all the things I was learning in the present. I blossomed. I was transformed.
And did I say I laughed? Because I sure laughed a whole lot that Spring. God truly blessed me by surrounding me with some really funny people! I love this photo because it truly captures my joy, and yes, you better believe I lived in my bathing suit. I mean what's a girl to do when it's in the high 80's EVERY SINGLE DAY, and the beach and the pool are at her finger tips. I can still feel the warm sun on my skin and the salt in my hair.
These few months of my 32 years changed me. Forever. For the better. I came back different. My mind was blown in regards to race and racism in our big world and in my little world, and I began to think differently, to feel differently, to write things like this.
So it's no wonder that when I get nostalgic, I think back to this time in my life, this time of tremendous growth.
But the thing is, if I looked back all the time, I wouldn't be able to live in the present. I wouldn't appreciate all that I have today and all that I am. I wouldn't allow myself the chance to grow today.
I am so thankful for this part of my past, but I am even more thankful for the way it has shaped my present, for the way it has transformed my heart and soul, for the way it has changed my relationships and my view of the world.
Thank you Jesus for this beautiful opportunity!
And as I was wrapping up my all my thoughts, church ended, and I turned to Peter and simply asked him about a time he longed for. And his answer was it's contextual...for instance, this morning, I longed for a time before kids, when I could sleep till whenever I wanted! Love that man.
So tell me...What time and place do you long for?
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