This post is so very long overdue - so forgive me if this seems a bit outdated considering I wrote this email over a week ago! But if I'm honest, not much has happened in the past week minus the fact that the Doctor put me on even more medication (I guess my blood vessels are constricted) and he wants to see us two times a week starting next week, and he informed me to start packing my hospital bag. Please join us in praying that LB doesn't arrive for another 3 weeks - breaks my heart to imagine how small he will be if he comes in a week!
These past few days have been pretty crazy if I'm honest, and I feel like the dust is finally settling. We were suppose to be on a plane flying out to Ireland to spend Christmas with Peter's family on Wednesday morning (last week), but alas we are still in Seattle. So much has happened in the past few days - I don't quite know where to start, so if you don't have time to read this long, lengthy blurb, just scroll to the bottom where I list our prayer requests!
So first things first. We were informed last week that my father-in-law was in the hospital and would be for awhile (two weeks or so), most likely spending his Christmas there. And we were informed that he was going to have surgery and the recovery would take nearly 6 months, which meant the father-in-law wouldn't be able to come visit his grandson until he was 6 months old. So that day Peter sent out an email to friends/family asking for prayer for his dad and the whole process.
And then on that same day, we had our final midwife appointment before we thought we would be leaving on a jet plane. The midwife had talked to the airline doctor and signed a form saying we were good to fly, but then after seeing us, and questioning my belly size, she took the note back and told us that she didn't think it would be a good idea for us to go to Ireland, but that she was going to talk to my other Doctor (I'm seeing a perinatologist that specializes in high risk pregnancies - high blood pressure in my case). Anyhow, she suggested we cancel our flights and stated that she wouldn't feel okay about anything until we saw the other doctor. And I of course broke down and explained to her that we had this trip planned since March, and Peter's dad was in the hospital and his grandpa's health was really going downhill. I was a mess, and the midwife felt terribly considering I was truly inconsolable, and I truly left there thinking that we might still have a chance to go to Ireland if the Doctor okayed us, but I knew that we wouldn't be flying out the next day as planned.
So we left that appointment, and I was truly a wreck. Peter and I had arrived at the appointment in separate cars and bless that man he wanted to talk before we went our separate ways home, and I was mad and simply stated, nope, I'm sorry...I'll see you at home. And I got behind the wheel and balled my eyes out, and let's just say it was like Cameron Diaz in the movie the Holiday...it was pouring down rain and tears were pouring down my face and my sobs were uncontrollable and embarrassingly loud. But I was alone right? So it didn't matter who heard me! And I was mad...so very mad. I mean it was all unfair right? We had these PLANS...and they were SUCH. Good. PLANS, right? I mean we just wanted to see family and spend the holiday season with them ...it has been over two years now since we were last there. We had the best intentions. But it just goes to show you how loosely you should hold those plans!
Anyhow, we canceled our flight, and went to see the doctor the next day, and I was still holding onto a glimmer of hope thinking that I would be able to fly at this point in the game. We had an ultrasound, baby was measuring small and according to their scale, he was in the 10th percentile. I didn't panic as much as I could have simply because he was in the 37th percentile a few weeks ago and that was before they changed their measurement scale. So according to the old scale, he would have probably been in the same percentile region.
Anyhow, baby is small, and they are concerned for his growth and they said no to me flying to Ireland. LB weighs about 3 lbs 5 oz (probably more now), and we are hoping he puts on some fat in the next few weeks/months. I am nearly 32 weeks pregnant, so technically he is suppose to have 8 more weeks in the womb, but the doctor says he will be shocked if LB doesn't come in the next 4 weeks, which simply means he will be shocked if he doesn't induce me before then. He thinks LB might grow better outside of the womb vs. inside and the stunt in growth could be because of my blood pressure medication or the placenta or both. He's not too sure, but now I am going to see him every week (this has since changed to 2 times a week - fun times!) and I'll be working from home per his suggestion. And I will most likely be delivering at an entirely different hospital with an entirely different care provider (OB vs. a midwife) and if LB comes earlier than 37 weeks, then he has a good chance of being in the NICU for a few weeks depending on when he arrives.
And the father in law had his surgery today, and we weren't there, and everything was okay! God provides, He always does, and this we know, but it doesn't completely rid us of our deep sorrow and the disappointment of not being with Peter's family during this time.
So that's where we stand, and we can't help but feel blessed. Blessed by the support from family and friends, blessed by the medical services we have here in Seattle, blessed by the amazing facilities and the delightful medical staff that care so very deeply, blessed to know that our baby is okay and truly in the hands of the Lord, blessed to have family we can spend this season with. This has been a beautiful opportunity to truly witness to those around us who don't know the Hope that is in Christ, and we feel so blessed to have this opportunity to share our pain and our hope with those surrounding us!
And as sad as it still is (if I think about it too much, I will cry) we feel deeply satisfied with where we are right now. We have enjoyed spending time together and getting prepared for the baby - whatever that means! We now have a stroller and the car seat is in the car - so we are making some progress.
Please pray for Peter's family, for his father as he heals from the surgery and for his mother as she supports him. And please pray for us...for our little family, for Peter and I, that the Lord would continue to fill our hearts with joy and hope and that He would continue to protect Little Buddy and that LB would continue to grow!
We are so excited to meet our Little Buddy and we are so excited for him to meet all of you! Can't help but wonder who he's going to look like...and I wanted to leave you with a few gems Peter sent my way a few weeks ago.
Take a look at what could be our future...
Hope those photos brought a smile to your face, especially the one on the left. Much love to all of you,
Malia, Peter and LB
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