Little Buddy: 38 weeks!

I can't even believe Little Buddy has been out of the womb for 4 weeks now.  I have said it before and I will say it again...WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE??  It all seems like a blur and I feel like I'm in a time warp.  How does that happen?  I somewhat feel like I'm just existing and each day has new challenges and new accomplishments and I feel pretty pleased with myself when I get the dishes done and do laundry and put the clothes away, while also getting myself something to eat or taking a shower.  My days look very different these days, but it's a welcomed difference, and it is one that has forced me to truly slow down.

Little Buddy is officially 38 weeks today!  And if I'm honest, I miss being pregnant.  Don't get me wrong - I love our little guy and I'm so glad he's here and healthy, but sometimes I do feel slightly cheated.  I mean he was born 6 weeks before his due date, and part of me feels as though I missed out on those 6 weeks of pregnancy.  I have never been 35 weeks pregnant or 36 weeks pregnant or 37 weeks pregnant, etc - I'm sure you get the point!  And I will never know what it's like to be that far along and that pregnant until we have another baby and even then, the baby may come early once again.  We truly don't know.

I went to a baby shower this past weekend and I found myself wishing I was still pregnant.  Wishing Little Buddy was still inside of me, wishing my belly was swollen to the max, wishing for stretch marks (yes, I just wrote that), wishing for little kicks and nudges and hiccups, wishing for a vaginal birth.  And I know he's here - so there's no point in wishing really, but a girl can still wish right?  I find myself slightly envious of those women who carry full term, who get to experience the final stages of pregnancy.

But if I'm honest, that envy and those wishes are short lived and they disappear as soon as I hold our little guy in my arms.  And the reality is, some pregnant women probably wish they were in my shoes - hard to believe, but I'm sure SOMEONE out there wishes their baby was here already, wishes they weren't pregnant anymore and they didn't have to go to the bathroom all the time or they wish they could have that glass of wine or that nice cold beer they have been dreaming of ever since the stick declared they were pregnant.

So let's see - Little Buddy is probably nearing 6 lbs and he may have grown in length.  He seems longer than 19.5 inches, but who really knows.  I suppose we could pull out our tape measure!  They say that his head should now be the same circumference as his abdomen, and it just might be.  He has a fairly tight grip and he can now tear his pacifier out of his mouth or suck on it so hard that it doesn't even fall out.  We are so proud of him and all of his little accomplishments.  He sleeps a fair bit during the day, which is wonderful, but Peter and I are still trying to figure our his nighttime habits as he is all over the board, which then means our nighttime habits are all over the board.

But when all is said and done, we are so very blessed, while also extremely sleep deprived!!  People say this sleep deprivation won't last forever, and he will eventually get to a point where he will sleep through the night, and don't get me wrong I DO believe them, but it's hard to believe it's actually possible when we are fully IN it, but I definitely look forward to that day!  Until then...we love you Jack, every single part of you - your poopy diapers, your pee stained clothes, your little cry, and even those late night wake up calls.

Much Love,

Malia, Peter and Little Buddy