Tonight.

All I wanted to do tonight was blog about something...anything.  I started Jack's five month post (yes, I know, he turned six months last weekend - I'm WAY behind) - I even went through some of the photos - wrote out some of the text, but I just couldn't bring myself to finish it.

My bed was calling my name, and that's where I am right now...in bed.  All the lights are off, the fan is whirling overhead, and I can hear the tv in the living room (Peter hasn't jumped on board yet with the fact that it's bed time).  And like I said...all I wanted to do was blog, so blogging is what I'm doing before I let myself fall asleep.

Sleep deprivation has taken my being to a whole new level.  I don't recognize myself anymore to be honest.  I'm short with my husband, and sometimes with my child.  And I'm so forgetful - I even forgot to pay the mortgage last month!  I realized a few days after the due date that I hadn't sent a check, but thankfully they give you a ten day grace period, so everything was good.

For the past month, or maybe even longer to be honest, Jack has been waking up countless times in the night.  At first, Peter and I thought it was just a phase, but the phase continued, and we dove deeper into the realm of sleep deprivation.  I would cringe every time I would hear Jack crying in the night, praying him back to sleep and longing for a mute button.  It's terrible, I know.  Peter and I had some terrible night time moments where we were short with each other and short with our child all in the name of sleep deprivation. It's a wicked thing.  And I find myself jealous of those who have children that sleep for six hours at a time - I would give my left arm for a six hour stretch of sleep.

Quite frankly, we can't take this many nightly wakeups anymore - so we decided to take action.  And we were racking our brains trying to figure out just WHY Jack was waking up so many times...is it gas?  maybe? is he teething? maybe? is he hungry? maybe?  The problem is...I think it's all of those things.  So I tossed aside the gas drops and bought some grip water instead.  I bought some teething rings and we gave him some generic tylenol stuff for his teeth.  And this is day two of feeding him rice cereal.  People, I think my child was hungry!!  Poor baby.  I just don't think he gets enough from breastfeeding - so we will be supplementing with real food (exciting!!) and perhaps some formula.  And I know it's silly, but I feel guilty about the formula thing...he's had it before, and I did all I could to increase my milk supply, and even got bags in the freezer, but I just don't think I produce enough milk for our hungry little man - this warrants a post for another day.

Anyhow, those are my thoughts for now.  The husband has turned the tv off and walked himself down the hallway - so I think he's jumped on board with the fact that it's bedtime.  And I will end at that...Night night ...