Transition to Motherhood.

This post has been sitting in my drafts since October of last year, figured it was high time I finished it up. Here goes...

The transition to motherhood has come easier to me than the transition to being a wife.  People say they don't want to have kids because they are too selfish, and my response to that is then why did you get married??  That transition was a bit more difficult for me than having a baby.

The reality is, I am a selfish being...and when I got married, my husband rocked my world, and continues to do so in so many delightful ways, but I was knocked off my pedestal that I had put myself on, and my eyes were opened to just how self seeking I truly was.  It's easy to ignore it or just sweep it under the rug like you sweep under the dirt in your life because you can.  You aren't confronted with these parts of yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY because you don't have to be.  When you live alone, there isn't anyone asking anything of you within the realm of your home.  There isn't anyone asking you to pick up after yourself, or to squeeze the toothpaste a certain way, or to fold their underwear a certain way, or to load the dishwasher a certain way (none of these apply to us actually). When you get married your selfishness is staring you in the face, and your expectations are staring you in the face, and your need for control is staring you in the face.

And I must say ...for me...the selfishness component hasn't even played a part in being a parent.  This is a role Peter and I have simply embraced because we must.  Jack needs us to survive, and there isn't anything selfish about that. It's simply a fact. Yes, I can get a little worked up when he wakes up at 3 in the morning hungry because I just want to sleep...and yes, I get a little worked up when I'm sick and I just want to lay in bed all day rather than take care of and love on my child.

But the reality is - it's easier for me to serve my child than it is for me to serve my husband. See, Peter doesn't NEED me to survive. He doesn't need me to feed him, change his diaper, bathe him wash his clothes. Quite frankly, he is fully capable of doing all of those things himself. And I'm so very thankful for that!!!  However, Jack's needs can seem more urgent than my husband's needs. As I said, Peter doesn't need me to survive.

Jack's a helpless little babe and Peter is an extremely capable adult. Thus, I'm much more quick to respond to Jack's cries for the boob or the bottle than I am to Peter's request for a glass of water.

But the reality is...I'm Peter's wife first, Jack's mom second. And it's so easy to lose sight of that isn't it? I mean as I said...Peter doesn't need me to survive.  However, what I've realized over this last year, is that marriage and parenting isn't about just surviving, it's about thriving. But how can you move from merely surviving to thriving? And what does thriving actually look like?

I truly can't count how many times I have praised God this past year for the partner He chose for me. And Peter may not need me to survive, but I believe God has brought us together so that we may thrive as we partner in parenting and life in general. God has given us the strength and the endurance to get through each day as we stand beside each other. And as we have adjusted to our new roles as mom and dad...we have slowly moved away from the survival mode. Things are becoming normal, and we have even begun to learn how we can thrive within these new roles. It's all about balance. It's all about a partnership. It's all about caring for the other person.

So tell me...how can you move from merely surviving to thriving? And what does thriving actually look like in your own life?

xoxo,

Malia