You don't have to say you're sorry

 

I'm sorry.

This is what so many people have been saying to us lately.

I'm so sorry you're walking through this.

I'm so sorry, I'm sure it feels so hard right now.

I'm just so terribly sorry.

And the truth is, you don't have to say you're sorry.

We already know you are.

We can see it in your eyes and feel it in your tight embrace.

Obviously, we wouldn't wish our experience on anyone, and I'm sure you wouldn't either, but the truth is, this is where we are.

This is the story God is writing for our family.

This is the story He is writing for Conor.

And we're not going to wish it away. But rather, we're going to lean into it fully.

We have no idea why this chapter is being written.

I have no idea why we have yet another baby in the NICU, why I have to leave the hospital yet again without a baby in my arms, why I have high blood pressure in the first place nor do I know why it resulted in preeclampsia only this time and not the other two times. 

But we do and it did.

And quite often we never know why we go through hard things till later, or we may never see the full picture till we meet Jesus face to face.

I don't know just what the Lord is doing, but I trust that He is at work in this.

I have to trust that.

I have to trust that there is a reason for this heartache and a bigger purpose for this pain.

And I know there is as I've seen it first hand just within my own heart as I continue to lean in to the suffering, and as I continue to see the growth of character not only in me but in those around me.

We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4

And we fully believe this and have experienced it fully this past year. We have seen the growth that comes from our suffering, we have seen the strength of character through perseverance, and we have experienced the hope that comes with all of it.

And we believe in that hope and we welcome those times of suffering because we know in the end we'll be better for it, our character will be stronger and our faith more deeply rooted.

So you don't have to say you're sorry.

Because the truth is, we're not.