Job Search.

Now I know I have posted on here in the past about my desires for a new job...but I figured it currently is a continual song that replays itself over and over again in my heart and in my mind. So I suppose I should write some more about this continual song.

So here goes...Have you ever wanted something soo bad that you were hoping and praying that the Lord willed it? I spent my entire Saturday a few weekends ago applying for jobs at the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation. I was a little upset, annoyed, irritated because it was soo nice out but I told myself I had things to do and resumes and cover letters to revamp. The catch is…I would love to work for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation…I really would. But I have come to realize that I don’t think that is something I really want RIGHT now. My heart doesn’t beat fast when I think about it…my emotions don’t begin to surface…and sometimes my mind even wanders when thinking about what my tasks may be.

I know the Lord has plans for me and I know without a doubt that He is calling me into something different than what I am currently doing. And although my heart yearns for something different, it also begins to ache when I think about leaving my present job. The bottom line is…I will be terribly sad to leave my coworkers because they are not just coworkers, they are dear friends, and I will even miss the tasks that have become mundane simply from repitition and familiarity.

But I know the Lord has called me, and so I must respond. He has called me into something different and for soo long I didn’t quite know what that different was…I had put off applying for things because I wasn’t excited about anything and it had to be something I was excited about if I was going to leave my amazing coworkers. These coworkers have become my family. These coworkers know me, my life, my struggles, my passions, my hopes and my dreams. These coworkers have listened to me rant and rave about life, love and marriage. These coworkers have challenged me to be a better person. These coworkers have loved me and embraced me. But the time has come and the Lord has called me…and as much as I would love a job that involves different tasks, it is more essential that I be surrounded by a community of people that I love.

So I have stepped out and I have applied for jobs...one that puts a smile on my face and gets my heart racing, while the others simply leave me indifferent. And I don't think God wants me to be indifferent about my job. Sarah told me about a certain job a few weeks ago as we were making the 5 hour drive to Spokane. She basically opened up a can of worms and as soon as I got home I knew I had to pursue it. I couldn’t sleep that night. The Lord kept me awake for some strange reason, and I was tossing and turning all night, while my mind wandered. And it was wandering to all the good moments I had experienced while in college...to Tuesdays at the Inn, core groups, Deputation, meeting Peter, sorority life, God's faithfulness in it all. It was wandering to my hopes and desires for my life and how God truly shaped me during my college years. It was wandering to the amazing people I met in college and the beautiful community that has continued from it. I was reminded of all those pivotal moments and how all those moments have value now eventhough it may not have seemed that way at the time. All this being said...the application and interview process was such a wonderful experience, and it simply served as a beautiful reminder that there are jobs out there that I could be really excited about and truly honored to have!