Maternity Leave.

Well the day has come.  My maternity leave has come to an end.  I go back to work tomorrow.  And I am left stunned at how quickly three months went.  But I suppose three weeks of my maternity leave was spent with Jack in the hospital and a little over two months  spent at home.  I have had two months to spend with this little man, and each day has been such a gift.  Being his mom is such an honor and a privilege.  This little man, who was once a stranger in our home, has completely stolen my heart.

It all seems so surreal, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't emotional about the whole thing.  I just can't believe I'll be getting up for work in the AM and putting on proper clothes and brushing my hair, in order to leave the house for the majority of the day.  I'm use to just rolling out of bed and putting on sweats and brushing my teeth and calling it good because it didn't really matter right??  But tomorrow everything changes.

And let's be honest, I have never been away from Jack for this long.  I remember the first time I left Jack after we had brought him home.  A friend asked...don't you miss Jack?  And if I'm honest, my answer was no.  I informed her that I missed Peter more.  I mean Jack was going to sleep most of the day, and he probably had no idea I was even gone, or so I thought.  And now, if she were to ask that question again, I think my answer would be very different. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss Peter terribly tomorrow too, but Jack has been my constant companion for the past few months.  And I'm going to miss my little snuggle buddy and his soft, kissable cheeks.

Oh what a glorious few months it's been...to just wake up whenever, to not have an agenda, and to just slow down a bit.  And as I packed my lunch tonight I almost broke down.  Is it always going to be this hard.  I'm sure it gets easier...please tell me it does.

And it's strange to say it, but I will never experience my first maternity leave ever again.  From here on out, maternity leave will look very different once you add another child to the mix.  And I will never get those first three months of Jack's life back, and from here on out he's just going to grow older - strange right?  And I'm okay with not being able to turn back the clock.  But I sure hope I cherish each moment for what it is when I'm in it.

And I am blessed to have a job - one that I enjoy with people that I enjoy!  And I know tomorrow won't be easy, especially after being away from the desk for over 3 months now, but I know it will be enjoyable.  And I'm looking forward to that. but I'm also looking forward to coming home to my guys when the work day is over.

We are so blessed.  And it has been a true blessing to watch this little man go from this.

to this.

to this.

So I know it's selfish...but will you please pray for me tomorrow (Monday)?  For my transition back to work, that it would be truly blessed, that Christ would go before me.  And please pray for my husband, who is working from home tomorrow and spending the day with Jack (I'm jealous already!), for his sanity and true patience.

Stay tuned for an update!  Jack turned 3 months on Saturday - I still can't believe it.

xoxo,

Malia