Dear Jack {Here's to THREE years}

To my sweet and silly Jack Emmet,

Today is your third birthday. Another year of life in the books (Year 1 and Year 2). I can't even believe you are three years old already. I shake my head in disbelief that I am the mother of a three year old! How is it even possible that you have been outside of my womb for three whole years already? 

All of this (Part one and Part two of your birth story) truly seems like such a distant memory, yet when I read over my thoughts, even after all this time and a second baby and a different birth story, I can still feel the rawness of the emotions and the uncertainty.

We had no idea what awaited us. 

We had absolutely no idea what we were in for - the love, the energy, and the laughter.

We had no idea just how much we would love you.

I had no idea just how much you would change me.  

And I had no idea just how mixed my emotions would be about you growing older. 

With each passing day and each passing year, you become more and more independent as you blossom into your own being fully apart from me. Your need for me now is so different than it was in your early days. It's all so bittersweet and beautiful really. Part of me wants to cry...Don't GROW up, never GROW up, stay small forever, and the other part of me wants to cry...I hope and pray I get to see you GROW up, to witness the person you will become.

It truly blows my mind when I look at this little teeny tiny 4 lb person and the three year old boy in front of me. I can't even believe you were ever that wrinkly and teeny tiny. 

And when I see photos of you from your first few days, I can't help but smile to myself. You were so new and so incredibly small and such a baby. I had absolutely NO idea as to who you would become or who I would become in the process. 

And now with three years of life in the books, I feel as though I can speak into who you are right now. 

You are fierce and a little force to be reckoned with. You are so strong willed, yet so sweet. 

You are truly such a character. You are just so silly and you do things in hopes of making other people laugh. You love to make your brother laugh, and the sound of you two laughing together, there truly isn't anything better. 

You wake up in the morning with a huge smile on your face, ready to face the world. And from the moment you open your eyes it's go, go, go. YOU HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY! I truly don't know how you do it nor do I know how your dad and I keep up with you - it's truly only by the grace of God. 

Everything to you is an adventure and I see the world differently through your eyes. You truly find joy in everything. 

However, even as your little personality evolves, I still have no idea who you will be at my age (33) or who I will become as we dive deeper into our relationship. But one thing I do know, I hope and pray I am privileged enough to see it. 

Thank you my child for your love and your laughter and for your patience as we navigate this crazy world together. 

And thank you Jesus for Jack - as parenting is not for the faint of heart. Thank you for your grace and for new beginnings and new days as we both know I've definitely needed my fair share of do overs. And yet, I've never been more exhausted and more fulfilled in all my life. Raising this little person is such a privilege, may I never forget that in our joyous moments and on our hardest days. 

I love you so much Jack Emmet!

Love,

Mama