God is your Provider

God is your provider.

It is so easy to speak this, but how many actually believe it and live into it?

How many of us actually witness God's provision?

And how quick are we to actually play God and be our own providers?

And what does it even mean for God to provide?

These are the questions we have been wrestling with as we enter into month 11 of unemployment.  To say this has been a trying time for our family may be a bit of an understatement, and we have good days and we have bad days.

Over the last 11 months, I've seen my husband wrestle with his calling, his sense of worth, his trust in the Lord, his (fill in the blank). And I've wrestled with my own issues, mainly how to support and encourage and love him well in this season.

And yet amidst all the wrestling, God has provided. We've been blown away by His provision. And as I type this, tears stream down my face as I'm just so overwhelmed by His faithfulness and His goodness in our lives.

We have had the privilege of witnessing God as our provider in a way we never have before. And if I'm incredibly honest, it's so humbling and beautiful. We have surrendered everything to Him and it's so freeing, yet also incredibly terrifying.

And through it all, I've realized just how little money we can actually live on. It's truly all about choices, the financial choices we make or don't make. And the money we save, spend or give away.

We have learned so much about stewardship and how we spend our money. We've made sacrifices and cut costs even more than I thought possible. I've cut back on my retirement contribution and we've changed healthcare plans. And I can't remember the last time we went out to eat with friends or with each other. We simply don't have the luxury right now to spend money on anything extra or unnecessary.

And although it's terribly humbling, I've learned so much. And we've learned to truly trust God as our provider. We've learned to rejoice even when we can't see what's ahead because we know what's there. We hold fast to God's faithfulness and to the joy that comes from Him and through Him. Our worth is in Him. It doesn't come from a job or a paycheck and this season has reminded us of this truth.

And everything we say and do should bring honor and glory to Him. Does this honor Him? Does this glorify Him? That should be our measure. And that doesn't mean we can't grieve when Peter's not offered a job he's interviewed for, nor does it mean we can't cry out to Him. It doesn't mean we don't come to Him kicking and screaming but it does mean we don't let that grief overcome us because we know His lasting joy and His everlasting hope.

May we continue to hold fast to our faith as we continue to witness God as our provider.