Today marks seven years married to this man. I truly can't even believe we have arrived at 7 years. Dear Jesus where has the time gone? Am I really that old?? Haha!
And in true anniversary fashion, I knew I had to take the time to sit and reflect and write about this past year of marriage, just like I've done for all the years that have come before this one. So that is what I found myself doing on the eve of our anniversary.
There are so many lovely things I want to write, but the truth is, this year has been our hardest yet. And as I perused our wedding photos tonight, I kept coming back to these two photos, as I feel they truly reflect where my heart is. This has been a year filled with so many tears, a year filled with clinging tightly to Christ and to each other. This has been a year of refinement, a year filled with humility and grace, a year filled with grief and so much joy.
And this morning, before church, as I was running and pounding my feet to the pavement, I was able to reflect on this past year of marriage. And all I could think was WOW, what an incredibly hard year we've had. And I found myself pleading with God. Please Lord let the next year be easier. Please, may this season soon come to an end. Please Lord, hear my cries. And as I pounded and pleaded, I was overwhelmed with just how God has moved in us and in our marriage this past year.
As we drove to church this morning, I turned to my husband, whom I truly adore and love so deeply, and just said, wow, our seven year anniversary is tomorrow, and I think this has been our hardest year yet. And we both got teary eyed just sitting there because we both knew how true my words were.
Who knew when we uttered for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health just how much weight those vows would truly carry. Seven years ago, we never would have envisioned we'd walk through the seasons we've walked through.
For better, for worse.
We've seen the beautiful and ugly sides of each other. We've had our moments of joy and our moments of grief. God has used Peter to refine me in a mighty and holy way, and I'd like to think He's used me to do the same to Peter. The path of truth and vulnerability is hard friends, but it's so worth it.
For richer, for poorer.
And of course we knew we'd experience job changes, but we never envisioned a season of unemployment, let alone this long of a season, let alone another season where we'd be overwhelmed by God's abundant provision. And by the grace of God, we've learned how to do less and spend less, and we've had to say no to things. And it's truly been a beautiful experience and lesson in stewardship. Don't get me wrong, some days I really wish I could justify buying myself a new pair of sandals from Target, but that's just not the season we find ourselves in, and I'm okay with it.
In sickness, and in health.
We knew or rather hoped we'd have children someday, but we never would have envisioned all the hospital stays, including celebrating New Years in the hospital, spending 6 days in the hospital before Jack made his appearance at nearly 34 weeks, 3 weeks in the hospital for Jack, and then our full-term baby landed himself in the NICU at 4 weeks old. And through it all, Peter remained our rock and our constant. He became our fierce, loyal advocate.
Through all of these seasons, we've been reminded time and time again that God has called us to one another. And even though it's been our hardest season, it's also been our biggest season of grace and love and growth. We've learned far more this last year then we ever dreamed of learning about ourselves, our marriage and our God.
We've learned how to speak truth to each other in a deeper and mighty way, and we've gotten so much better at receiving that truth with a deep sense of humility. This has been the year of stripping away, of becoming raw, of speaking truth, of experiencing true humility and vulnerability. This has been a year of crying out, of shedding tears, of experiencing grief...TOGETHER.
I never would have envisioned just how much more I could love my husband, nor how deeply I could trust in God's goodness and faithfulness. And as we fully lean into this season, I have witnessed the depth of our friendship and the depth of our faith. In the last year we've become more united and more in tune with the others emotional well being. We've both become so much more sensitive and selfless, a constant laying down of self. Little did we both know we had more in us to lay down!!
But this has also been the year where we've focused on what feeds our souls and what we need from each other in order to cultivate that soul feeding. We've gotten better at creating boundaries and respecting boundaries with each other, while extending so much grace. This has been the year of grace and believing fully that we are doing the best we can and that we each have the absolute best intentions.
We've been reminded time and time again that our worth is in Christ, that we are children of the King, that our measure in life is to Honor and Glorify Him with every season we find ourselves in, that our hope and identity is ultimately in Him.
And my cry, seven years ago, was that our marriage and our love for each other would Honor and Glorify Him! And that is the measure we live our life by. May we honor and glorify Him in every season.
Thank you Jesus for my husband ...for marriage...for anniversaries...and for walking with us through all the seasons of life. May You be glorified!
xoxo,
Malia
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