I have written a post every year for the past 5 years, and I'm so glad I did! However, I have to say, I'm extremely disappointed by my one year post as the words are few and the photos are nonexistent! I suppose you live and you learn.
The posts and their content have become deeper over the years, just as our love for each other. It was so fun to read over the things I have written about our marriage over the last four years. It's such a beautiful way to capture the growth in our marriage and to read the things that have remained constant and the words that keep reoccurring year after year in each anniversary post.
And even after 5 years, I can still close my eyes and remember our wedding day. The anticipation, the excitement, the joy, the love, and the laughter.
I remember praying that the day and our entire marriage would simply honor and glorify God, and I will never forget the words my Uncle whispered in my ear after the ceremony, while at the reception...God is so honored and glorified by this day. And naturally I burst into tears - Thank you Jesus for using him to speak into my life. What a truly beautiful day it was.
In those five years, we have bought a house, changed jobs, traveled internationally, had a child, awaited the arrival of another, celebrated life and death. We have lived passionately and loved each other deeply. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Don't get me wrong...we definitely have our moments where we aren't each others favorite person, and there are still traces of our pigheaded, stubborn selves that return every now and again, but humility goes a long ways in our marriage. We are so quick to recognize our wrongdoings and the hurts we have caused the other person, but this isn't something that has come easily. Over time we have cultivated a culture of truth and honesty and vulnerability within our marriage...and with that comes things you don't always want to hear...things that may mean refinement, transformation, hard work, and yes, apologies, lots of them.
It has been so beautiful to see the way my husband has morphed into the man God has intended for him to be. God has used him in mighty ways to challenge and refine me.
And just a few weeks ago when I was driving him to the airport, cutting it a little too close to his plane departure time for his liking. The man was grumpy (his words, not mine), anxious, sad to leave his family, and as his wife was trying to make conversation with him, trying to crack jokes in hopes of getting a smile to cross his face (she was successful by the way), she just thought I know this man.
He doesn't have to tell me he's anxious because we are running late and he won't have that much time before his plane actually departs. I know. He doesn't need to tell me that airports make him anxious, that he hates having to go through security, customs, etc. I just know.
There are so many things that can be expressed without words now simply because I just know. I know him. And don't get me wrong as he takes on new roles in his life whether it's his new role as a dad or a new role at work...I discover new things about him that I didn't know. I'm always discovering new things. But the core of who he is...I know this. And I love this.
I know what drives him up the wall...I know he hates when I come home after being at the office and immediately start tidying up the house before I say hello to he and Jack. I know that he is the most fiercely loyal and loving person I know. I know that he is afraid of heights. I know that he loves good food and great beer. I know that he is always striving to be his best self.
And even though I could say he knows all of these things about me...the man has planned a surprise anniversary getaway. For those of you that know me well...I'm not a huge fan of surprises, but I think I say that because I just want to be in control. I want to know where we are going, what we will be doing, what we will be eating, what I should pack, and the thought of someone else making all those decisions doesn't initially excite me because I have no control over those decisions.
But this time around, when the husband announced he was planning something and I wasn't going to have any say in it...rather than get angry or fight it...I gladly gave in. And it was so incredibly freeing. And I am so excited! Can't wait to tell you all where we are going.
Jack will be staying with the grandparents for two nights, while Peter and I have our first overnight adventure TOGETHER since Jack was born! And to say I'm excited is just a bit of an understatement. Don't get me wrong, I will miss our little nugget terribly, but I'm so excited to see him and squeeze him and be reunited with him on Sunday.
Wish us all luck and say a little prayer for my parents if you think about us this weekend!!
xoxo,
Malia
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