I'm a c-section mama, I know

A dear friend of mine welcomed a beautiful baby boy into her arms and into her family a few weeks ago. And as I journeyed with her and her husband via text through their babies birth journey, I was filled with so much excitement and anticipation. And as we received updates on her progression or lack thereof, and read words like heart deceleration and no change, I just knew in my gut that this baby may be exiting the womb via a door that would leave a scar.

And I was right.

When my husband gave me the news that the husband was getting gowned up and they were preparing for surgery, I must admit, my heart broke a little.

Because I'm a c-section mama, I knew what awaited my sweet friend.

I know, I know...healthy baby, healthy mom. Those are the most important priorities. I believe this with my whole heart, but I also know and remember vividly the stark realities of a c-section.

And I know every single baby comes into this world in their own unique way, but I must admit, every single time I find out that baby's birth story involves a c-section, my heart softens tremendously.

And I think, I'm a c-section mama, I know.

I remember just how sick I had been the day I had Jack, throwing up all day. (Read about Jack's birth story!)

I remember telling the anesthesiologist that I was going to throw up as I'd been throwing up all day, and I did.

I remember laying down on that operating table, thinking I've never had surgery before. 

I remember shaking and shivering uncontrollably.

I remember the pressure in my abdomen and the sound of my baby crying.

I remember the tears of joy that came and the deep sadness as they whisked my 4 lb, 2 oz. 33 weeker away to the NICU.

I remember the road to recovery.

I remember how hard it was.

I remember the pain, the dreadful, terrible pain.

I remember the need for the drugs - and I remember almost fainting from the pain of it all before I'd even left the hospital.

I remember it hurting so incredibly bad every single time I had to sit up from lying down. And let's just say I had to do alot of that in the night with a preemie in the house.

I remember it hurting so bad to even laugh.

I remember it hurting so bad to do just about anything.

I remember the way my skin pinched, and the way my scar itched and the way it still does at times.

I remember it all.

I'm a c-section mama, I know just how brave, strong and beautiful my sweet friend was in that moment and continues to be as she cares for her little man.

I ran across this article ages ago - Three truths about c-section mamas.

And every time I read it, I get a little emotional at the truths written.

"Becoming a mother leaves all of us with scars. Some of them are emotional, some of them are physical. C-section mamas often have both. And yet their scars are powerful reminders of the strength and bravery they possessed when bringing their children into the world. These scars were the door their children passed through as they left one world for the next.

I’m captivated by how different each scar is – the texture, the length, the placement. Just as each scar is unique, as is each c-section birth story. I’m captivated by how these scars change over time – how they fade, how they grow, how they heal. These scars are beautiful and something worth celebrating.  Instead of covering our c-section mamas with shame, we need to encourage them to show their scars of strength and bravery to the world."

I've already started showing Jack my scar and telling him of his entrance into the world. It's a beautiful birth story really, one that demonstrates God's goodness and faithfulness, and His grace, so much grace.

This was inspired by my I'm a mama, I know post.