November 6, 2017

Dear Ryan {almost 3}




My dearest Ryan,

Your dad took Jack to the library, and you're napping, thank goodness for naps still as it gives me a chance to sit and rest and reflect. 

And any time I get a chance to write, I just sit back and think about how blessed I am to be your mama. Wow, such a gift, this role and this title is such an incredible gift. It's so hard, so incredibly hard, but it's so very good. 

Ryan, when I think back to your 2 year old self, I hope and pray I remember the sheer joy and determination you possessed at such a young age. I can't help but wonder how much of your 2 year old self will be reflected in your 12 year old self or your 22 year old self or your 32 year old self. 

I'd say terrible twos was a real thing with you. I don't think Jack tested me nearly as much as you do, but your stubbornness is out of this world and it sends me reeling some days. Like that one time we were in Dublin and we got on the train at 5:00, right during prime traveling time, and the train was packed and there wasn't a single seat in sight, and you just wriggled out of my arms and took off weaving through legs, screaming at the top of your lungs, I need a seat, I need a seat. And I chased after you, excusing myself, and declaring to people, Uhh, that's not my kid haha!! But lo and behold, you finally found a seat, and crawled up into it by the time I got to you, all the while I was sweating and laughing at your sheer determination. 

You knew what you wanted and you went after it. 

And Ryan, I admire that about you. I admire just how opinionated you are at such a young age, how your sense of self is steadfast and how you fight for what you want. 

And if I'm incredibly honest, I hope you hold fast to that part of your self, that you don't let the world tear that part of you down, that you never forget just how worthy you are of being loved, of having a voice, of being heard. 

I hope you never forget your boldness, your sense of fairness and equity. 

I hope you never stop laughing and that life always brings you so much joy. 

And I hope and pray that the joy of the Lord lives within your spirit always, that you are motivated in this life by the love He has for you and the love He has for others.

Love you,

Mama




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