My Thoughts on Having a Boy

I've been awaiting the day when I could sit down and write out my thoughts on having another boy.

When people ask what we're having, I've tried so hard to respond by saying...A BOY, rather than ANOTHER BOY! It just sounds different to me and maybe that's just because it feels different to me? 

There are quite a few people in my life pregnant with their third baby, and after having two boys, they've received the news it's a GIRL!! And to be honest, my heart aches a little at the thought that I'll never hear those words, that my girl name has been put to death haha!

But then I hear stories about God's faithfulness to provide them with that baby girl and how God is living into the vision and the dream He has for that family, and my heart soars with gratitude as I think back to my own vision and dream for my own family. 

See it really started even before I had Jack, I just remember thinking I'm going to be a boy mom! I just knew it deep in my heart, and when we found out Jack was a boy, I remember thinking, this is the beginning, and then when we found out Ryan was a boy, I instantly declared BROTHERS!! 

And then when we found out this third baby was a boy, I literally cried so many tears of joy and gratitude as I knew this was God's vision and dream for my family.

Jack had been talking about his baby brother for months, I literally mean months before I was even pregnant with this baby. He so earnestly declared, my baby sister died, and now I'm having a baby brother. I even took videos recalling the conversations we'd have after having them as I didn't want to forget this little boy's dream and declaration of having another brother. 

So it began with this.

And then when we showed him the ultrasound photo, I asked him, do you know what this is? And he declared, it's my baby brother!! He didn't say, it's a baby, but rather it's my baby brother. And in this video, I state, Baby brother we're so excited to meet you, I mean if you're a girl too, we'd be equally as excited, but my first inclination was boy. It truly was. 

So when people would ask me, so what do you think? Boy or girl? I'd say obviously it would be fun to have a girl, but I really think we're having a boy! I would tell them about Jack's words and declarations and it all just felt so prophetic to be honest, and I really wanted him to be right. 

And then we did a blood test where they can tell you gender based upon a chromosomal test of your blood, and they sent me an email with the gender reveal! And I took this video, and the tears of joy are so good and pure and real.

And of course Jack was right all along! God was so gracious to prepare my heart for this moment, truly. It feels like such a gift! I just knew. And thank you Jesus for the way you used Jack to graciously guide me down this path of true acceptance that I am destined to be a boy mom!

And let it be known that I love being a boy mom. I delight in my boys and their energy and their crazy antics! They keep me on my toes and they sure keep me laughing! I truly believe that God gives us just what we need, and little did I know just how much I needed all these boys in my life. 

Stories.

So if I may boast again about my darling husband...I think I would boast about his beautiful writing abilities. Now I know we all have our giftings and my Leadership Through Storytelling class clearly showed me that my gifting was NOT creative writing NOR storytelling when I had to make UP the story and create dialogue and all that malarky. Now writing about myself and telling my OWN personal stories - now I can do that. But writing about things that have yet to happen? and creating fantasy conversations between two people? and writing overly descriptively so that people feel as though they are a part of it all? Now THAT is hard for me!

However, what is hard for me may come easy for another - and that another is my husband! Peter can just sit down and write the most beautiful stories in moments, and yes I am jealous of this gifting, but it doesn't mean I don't boast about it or appreciate it! I clearly remember a specific moment where I had to write this story for this said class and parts of the story were in fact true because I just couldn't make up the ENTIRE thing. I wanted to write about something real and tangible and I wanted my characters to be real people - so they were, but I still had to create dialogue and I still had to use a TON of descriptive words and I still struggled. But my husband is a beautiful writer. So I thought I would consult him, and I did and within minutes he had turned my simple, plain, boring dialogue into something vibrant and beautiful. He even advised me on my descriptive words and within minutes the characters and the situation came alive! Now that my friends is a gift and a talent....so I thought instead of going on and on about my husband's writing abilities, I would share one of his stories with all of you! And I may even try to round up a few of his oldies and share them on here. But read this one first...and read it through to the end..because the ending is the BEST PART!

GALLOWS by Peter Drennan.

He walked slowly to the gallows. He could not remember his name. He had no name, only people of worth had names. He was worth nothing, simply a waste of human genome. Maybe he once had a name? maybe he even had a family? maybe he was once loved? But not anymore, now he was merely sub human. As he walked, in torn clothes that barely covered his naked form, the crowds gathered to jeer at him. They screamed profanity, throwing rotten food and animal entrails at him. They spit on him, hurling insults and excrement. They were enraged by his very existence. He insulted their humanity. His clothes were torn from him. He was kicked to the ground, naked, stinking and humiliated. He continued to walk, crawl and scramble to the gallows and to his judgement. If he was lucky he will be hung today. It was what he deserved.

As he reached the platform, he saw his judge and executioner. His heart filled with dread, The Accuser was known for no mercy and no quick kills. The Accuser relished in torture and hearing his victims blood curdling screams. He climbed the steps, unable to hear anything but the crowds accusations and insults. But he deserved it. He deserved it all because he went too far. The Accuser stood there, draped in a black cloak with deep black eyes that glint with blue fire - cold yet ablaze with a deep fire. On his shirt cuff was embossed the words ACCUSER OF ALL. It is The Accuser that OWNS the crowd and the entire world.

The Accuser cried, "YOU are accused of being filthy, disgusting, depraved, ugly and worthless! What say YOU!"

The crowd cheered, and a new wave of filth left their mouths.

The Accuser is not yet finished and the cries continued, "YOU are guilty of everything! IT is ALL your fault! What say YOU! Look -your own family has rejected you, and they did not even name YOU! NO one wants you."

He was unable to speak, yet he found himself nodding with the accuser, agreeing with him. His mouth was trapped shut, and his mind fell into darkness as he accepted what The Accuser was saying.

"You will be sentenced today, and there will be no chance of ANY pardon. Sentenced to punishment in the pit of torture where all of the SCUM go!" cried The Accuser. The crowd wanted to tear him to pieces themselves, the words of The Accuser intoxicated them and they celebrated in an orgy of rage.

The Accuser continued..."YOU may have heard a rumour of some promising pardons. Well that is a LIE. YOU are all un-forgivable...and in any case I KILLED that liar a long time ago." The Accuser removed his hood and gave a terrifying battle cry of pride. He cried, "Step forward and take your punishment." The crowd reached a fever. The Accuser continued, "NO one can save you and no one would want to!"

He braced his body for his eternal punishment. As he reached out his hand to recieve the cold hand of Fate, he heard a word he has never heard before - A word that was pure, a word that was not ugly but beautiful. It was whispered. It's sound was refreshing like a summers rain. It was not from the crowd. Their words were like sandpaper on an open wound. Their words were growled, and they came out of the bowels of the firey dungeon. No... this word changed everything. He tried to say it back but it had been so long since he had spoken, and his voice was like a crackle. He kept hearing the word. The Accuser jeered, "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING FOOL! Look he is retarded now as well as disgusting!" But there was less certainty and revillry in his voice now, almost as if he could hear the word himself.

The word got louder and clearer and the crowd stirred. Someone came walking through the crowd. They removed their cloak, strode up the steps and stood beside him. She said, "John it's me. It's Grace. Remember me, remember what I promised?" On her cloak was the word he was trying to say, the word he was hearing but could not say...

The Accuser was furious and cried, "THERE IS NO ONE here called John...just a filthy criminal!" Grace, turned to The Accuser and said, "YOU fool, you have no idea what has already happened. You are no longer the accuser of the realm and John is no longer under your dominion. YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE! John, I named you before you were born, you are not filthy you are worthy and glorious. Come with me and we will go onto the other gallows and whisper those words you heard and build the new realm where the accuser has no rule!" the accuser shook at her words and cried, "NO ...LIES ...SHE SAYS LIES! PUNISH HIM!!"

Then Grace so gracefully said..."John lets go see your friends, and your Father. He has been waiting for you for a very long time." John replied, "Grace, you saved me...but why?" Grace replied with a sigh, "Oh John, we have been searching for you for a long time, you have no idea how much we love you!"