Peter, You're my Favorite

Peter, You're my absolute favorite.

And today, I want to wish you the Happiest of Birthdays!

Thirty-seven years ago today, you were born. And rather than share all the things I love about you, I just wanted to share from the heart. And I should say now, this post may have started as a Father's day post many months ago, but I figured today would be a good day to finish it!!

I can't even begin to imagine how different my life would be, how different I would be, if you had not been born.

Thank you Jesus for his mother that birthed him, and for his parents that raised him, and to you for creating Him!

When I first met you 13 years ago I never would have dreamed we'd be where we are today.

But looking back now, I can't even imagine anything different.

So many of my memories lead back to you, so many of my life paths lead back to you.

And for that I am so grateful.

God has used you in such a mighty and powerful way to mold me and transform me and restore me and heal me, and I thank you Peter for responding in obedience to that call.

I thank you for speaking truth even when it's hard and even in my most stubborn moments.

I thank you for holding my hand and walking beside me in all the ugly and beautiful moments.

I thank you for holding my memories and my stories for me. 

I thank you for challenging me to think beyond myself and outside of the box.

I thank you for encouraging me to be true to myself, to speak truth and to live in that freedom and abandon as God has called us to live..

I thank you for your sincere desire to change the world, to change our systems, and to change our overall way of being.

And I thank you for challenging me to be a changemaker, to challenge the status quo, to challenge the way things are, it is intoxicating. And I love you for it.

And Peter, thank you for being my partner in every sense of the word.

Thank you for loving me and our children so deeply. 

You delight in them and they delight in you, and as I watch you with our boys, I get a glimpse of the Father's true delight in all of us. 

Thank you for this glimpse as you laugh with them, as you share things with them, as you teach and instruct them.

It's like my dad said, "I always knew you were a good man, but then you became a dad, and you my friend are a great dad."

You truly are a great dad. 

Being a parent is hard work, this you know, and its easy to lose sight of ourselves and each other in the shuffle and chaos of it all.

And sometimes I forget to look up and I forget to look beside me to see that the Lord and you have been there the whole time.

And lately I've been reminded of the blessing of this parenting partnership, no one else knows what these years have been like, the sleepless nights, the joy, the tantrums, the refinement.

You are the one who holds our memories for us, the good, the bad, the ugly. You've walked through it all with me. No human knows me better. And I'm just so thankful for you.

Peter, you're all of our favorites, but you're especially mine.

And it's so true. I love our children, but I love you so much.

There's no one else I'd rather spend time with, no one else I'd rather grow old with, no one else I'd rather share all of myself with. 

Thank you for sharing this life with me, for choosing me, for standing beside me in the brightest of moments and in the darkest of days. 

Happiest of Birthdays my love! May this next year be filled with so many beautiful moments of transformation and growth and may you continually look up and see His face and His hand in all of it.

We love you!

xoxo,

Malia

Climbing Mountains and Descending in a Helicopter

Peter had talked about summiting the Brothers for a few years and I knew that eventually this dream would be realized. He just needed to convince a few others to do it with him, and a few months ago he had assembled his team and they marked it on their calendars. Their plan was to leave late Friday night, hike a few miles in the dark to their campsite, and get up early to summit and descend all in the same day. This was what everyone did, so it wasn’t a big task. However, nowhere in Peter’s dreaming about summiting did he envision he’d descend any other way than with his own two legs!

Anyhow, on Friday night, before Peter departed to pick up his friends, we huddled together as a family unit, and Peter and I talked about how blessed we are to be living this life and we prayed prayers of protection over each other before we sent Peter off to finally climb this mountain he’d been talking about for years!

And sometime that night, I had a dream that I had a miscarriage and Peter had an accident and the basis of the dream was that God gives life and takes it away in His time. The dream was all about me reconciling this give and take and desiring for Peter to be spared and protected and releasing my baby to the Lord, knowing what that meant. And I remember thinking, if I had to choose, I’d choose Peter. I love that man so much. Yet at the same time, I really really love this baby deeply and want this baby growing inside me so much. And in the dream, I remember processing the fact that I’d be okay, that I’d survive this grief, this loss, and be stronger for it. And when I woke up, I remember thinking I must have been bawling my eyes out in my sleep and my heart ached. 

And even with that dream in the back of my mind, we went about our weekend, the boys and I, going to a birthday party for a little friend Saturday morning and running errands later that day. At around 4 on Saturday, my dad asked if I’d heard from Peter and I was like no, I can’t imagine they have cell service where they are.  But I did say, I’m guessing they’ve already summited and they’re either already down the mountain or nearly there.

Let’s just say, never in my wildest dreams did I envision the text I’d receive on Saturday night from Dan, Peter’s climbing buddy, informing me that Peter had fallen and was being airlifted. And when I got the news about Peter that night, I had this strange feeling that something was going to happen with the baby.

And then around 8:55 PM that night, just as I’m sitting down to fold the 3 loads of laundry in front of me, my phone beeps and I see a text from Dan, and I remember thinking, that’s weird, Dan never texts me.

Hi Malia, this is Dan. Peter had a fall coming down a snow field from the top of the South Brother. He is mildly concussed, 3-4 chipped teach, abrasians, and cut under his jaw. Navy helicopter just picked him up. Not sure where they are transporting him. He has his cell phone. I will be out of cell service most likely in a few minutes. BOTTOM LINE: He is fine but will be bruised and sore and need some stitches and tooth work.

And my instant reply.

Is this for real? I only ask because he was joking nothing was going to happen to him…my sister in law was like are you sure you should go? Be safe as you have a wife and kids at home and a baby on the way…but Dan, I don’t take you for a joker, so I’m thinking this is for real. Thanks for letting me know!!

And then I sent messages out to my tribe letting them know what was happening and to ask them to pray.  And I’m pretty sure I tried to call him, and he didn’t answer, and then I thought, oh I should look to see where his phone is and sure enough he’d landed in Seattle and I could see that he'd traveled at 156 mph in 9 minutes to his location.

And then 25 minutes later, the nurse called from Harborview ER to inform me that my husband was there and he was okay. And she put him on the phone and he was talking about how he was fine and he wasn’t staying the night. And the nurse was like umm, yes you are. He wasn’t making a ton of sense, definite side effect of the concussion. But they did discharge him after just 6 hours, so technically he says he didn’t stay the night in the hospital.

And at 3:30 AM, nearly 12 hours after his fall, I found myself sitting on the front porch in my pjs awaiting Peter’s arrival home via an Uber. I can’t even put into words the tremendous relief I felt as my phone dinged informing me that Peter was home before the headlights of the car had even come around the corner. And I lept up as he opened the door, and I watched this broken and battered man limp out of the car toward me.

At the hospital, in between exams, he had pieced together the parts of the story he remembered. They had summited around 3:00, and it was harder and more technical than they had thought it would be, so it took them longer to ascend then they thought it would, which meant the whole thing was going to take them longer than they had originally thought.

At the summit, they met 3 guys that just happened to be certified mountaineers, who were planning on traversing down a different part of the mountain, but they decided last minute to descend with Peter and his friends. Thank the Lord for these guys who had overly prepared for what was to come.

And then Peter and his other climbing buddy Mike are descending down the snow field about 200 ft from the summit, and Mike is teaching Peter how to plunge step in his non mountaineering boots. Peter slips a few times and realizes this is really hard, and then states to Mike that he's going to get off the snow and climb down on the rocks. And as Peter is making his way to the rocks, he slips and falls 150 feet and his body disappears from Mike's view.

And it was roughly 3:45 PM.

Mike later said, he had no idea what he was going to find when he found Peter, and that he thought for sure he had broken his legs or something just by the way his body was positioned. But by the grace of God all his bones were intact, and Peter's bag had caught on a rock, stopping him from traveling any further down the snow field. His body had wedged itself between some rocks and the ice. And all of them worked together to pull Peter out.

And they assessed his body for damage. He definitely had a concussion and his face was beaten up, but that was about it. And he was shivering, so they needed to raise his body temperature. So they piled all their jackets on him and covered his legs with their pants and somehow started a little fire to heat up some water to use as a hot water bottle.

And by the grace of God, they somehow managed to have service at that location on the mountain, and they called 911, and told the operator what had happened. And they waited, and waited, and waited. One of the mountaineering guys had a special watch that showed their GPS coordinates so they were able to communicate that to the operator and the search and rescue team. And they could see the helicopter flying overhead, but the weather was so foggy and so bad, they weren't sure if they were going to be able to get him by air. So they called for a search and rescue team on the ground that was waiting at the foot of the mountain. They helicopter had made 3 attempts, and all the guys on the mountain were ready to start climbing down with Peter at their side as they knew they were going to lose the daylight really soon. So they started packing up their stuff and Dan got a text saying Stay put! Don't go anywhere, we have a 4 minute window.

And on the 4th attempt as the sun is starting to set, a guy jumps out of the helicopter and lands near them, and straps Peter to him and ascends back up into the air.

And it's 8:52 PM, which means the rest of the guys that were left on the mountain now have to descend in the dark! But before they start their descent, Dan sends me the dreaded text.

And if I'm honest, after reading the text, and after speaking to the Harborview nurse and after talking to Peter, I couldn't stop thinking about his friends and how traumatic it must have been for them. They witnessed their friend falling down a snow field. They then proceeded to spend 5 hours waiting on the helicopter, only to then spend the next 7 hours climbing down the mountain in the dark. And then to have to communicate it all somehow to the wife at home. Goodness me, bless them.

And what a tremendous blessing it was to have Peter's real life heroes stop by that Sunday night to drop off our car and Peter's stuff and to share their side of the story.

We just sat around the table while they replayed their version of the story and filled in so many of the holes in Peter’s. And they showed pictures and videos, and I videoed it all to share with Peter's family. And let's just say they all do a better job of telling the story than I do! 

And when they showed the video of the helicopter and the guy coming down to get Peter, and as I watched the guy strap Peter to him and the helicopter fly away before either of them were even inside, the tears came.

And I just kept thinking, thank you Jesus for this moment, for this opportunity we have to gather around this table, for the opportunity to hear the story first hand. It was so good for my soul, I can only imagine how good it was for theirs.

You guys, we only get one life…may we never forget  it and may we live it fully. May you speak the words you’ve been meaning to say, may you reconcile the broken relationship, may you quite your job and travel the world, may you pursue your dreams wholeheartedly, may you have no regrets.

The Job Story

So Peter's been in his job for 2 months now, which just feels wild! Little did we know that something we had prayed so long for would be such an incredible adjustment for our family, probably more for Peter than for the rest of us.

We miss having Peter around the house during the day. And I know it's been strange for Peter being in an office 5 days a week, trying to balance 2 jobs, school, a wife and kids, friends, gym time, and ministry. The week goes fast! And I know it's been hard for him only really seeing the boys on weekends.

But the one thing we keep coming back to is this, God is faithful. And this job is an answer to so much crying out and so much prayer.

And we are so grateful.

And in the moments that feel hard, like when the boys ask where Dada is, and I kindly inform them he's already left for work, or that he woke up early to go to the gym, or that he's not coming home till later as he's working his pizza job tonight, I hold fast to the fact that God is faithful.

His provision of this job was so very clear and it's such a beautiful story. And I can't believe I've waited two months to share it with you.

So here I go before we completely forget all the details.

May we steward this story of God's faithfulness well and may you see Him in all the details.

So as many of you know, Peter was in the job market, and he had been looking for meaningful employment since October 2015. And he started at his new job just two months ago. When I type it out like that, I can't help but think WOW that was a really long time! 

And as I've said before, this season was so incredibly hard. Through it, we experienced so much growth, so much pain, so much grief, and so much joy. And as hard as it was for me, it was so hard to watch Peter go through it. He would continually put himself out there, only to face rejection after rejection. And then he would get back up and do it all over again. The questioning of his worth, of his skills, of his calling, of God's provision was hard for me to watch and witness.

But then something happened as God continued to chip away at all the things that didn't honor Him, He was reminding us of who we are and whose we are, and that our identity is fully in Him. Nothing else matters. And we had to enter into a new level of humility and a new level of laying down of self time and time again.

And even though the journey felt so long, I feel like it took us that long to get to the place where we could fully trust God whatever the path may be and however long the wait may be.

And the Sunday before Peter saw the job posting and applied for it, our Pastor was preaching on Blessed are the Pure in Heart, for they will SEE God. And he ended the sermon with two questions. How do you see God showing up in your life right now? And how do you want to see him? And we were each given little pieces of paper to fill in this blank, I want to see God.... And I turned to Peter and said should we bring them forward, and he said, no I'll bring them forward when I go for prayer after the sermon. I almost started bawling right then and there as I knew he had entered into an even deeper level of humility.

The truth is, we had nothing left in us. We had reached the end of our own ropes and we needed others to carry us, so we stepped forward for prayer. And when the two lovely ladies asked how they could pray for us, Peter got a little choked up as he shared the season we were in, and I started crying as I asked for prayer as to how to support him well in this season. And then they laid hands on us, and we just fully released the tears and the control, and allowed their words to wash over our broken spirits, to heal us, to restore us, to encourage us. And when the Amen arrived, we all looked at each other with tears in our eyes and I thanked them for their words and for that Holy Spirit moment as they spoke truth right to the depths of my soul.

And then just a few days later Peter found a job that he was excited about applying for. It was a position with an organization called Forest Stewardship Council, an organization he had heard about, but most of their jobs are in DC or elsewhere, not here in Washington. So he was intrigued, and figured he had nothing to lose.

So a few days later, when he finally had the time to sit down and apply, he went to look for the job online, but he couldn't find it there. So he called the number he had to see if the position was still open, and he reluctantly turned in his application thinking it was probably too late. And his now boss emailed him back, stating that the position was closed, but she wanted to set up a phone interview with him. And she also asked him how he got her personal phone number as the number he'd called her on was her personal number!!

So a week after our momentous moment at church, the moment where we truly let go and just fully released everything to the Lord, we began to see the FSC logo everywhere! And that Monday, Peter had a phone interview, and it went really well and they asked him to come in that Friday for an in person interview. And Peter left the interview just feeling like if it's not me, then it's someone else who is truly incredible! And then the next Tuesday morning they called him and offered him the job!

Thank you Jesus.

And in the week or two of waiting, we saw God's hand in all of it. Time after time, we heard Him say, I see you, I know you're there. From Peter's favorite song, How He loves by David Crowder, coming on Pandora right as he's breaking a fast, to going back back to work at Pagliacci after like a 6 week hiatus from being out of the country and not being scheduled and realizing they had changed their boxes to include a diagram outlining their Paper trail and FSC gets a shoutout, to being able to use examples from his Pagliacci job in his second interview.

God's hand was in all of it, and we felt that hand so profoundly.

And looking back, I'm just blown away by God's provision every single step of the way through the extra income from Peter's pizza job and the random financial gifts that would show up just when we were questioning whether we should dip into our savings or wondering whether it was financially wise to take time off work to travel to Ireland for a very important wedding!! He provided and you guys we didn't spend an ounce of our savings during that entire season of waiting, or maybe I should say, the balance remains the same as it did 18 months ago, which truly blows my mind.

And as I said, we are so grateful for this job, for a different season, and we're now trying to find balance within this new season. Change is hard, but we're adjusting. And I think it's easier to adjust when we truly feel like God has called Peter to this job in this season.

Again, a huge thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement, we are just so grateful!

If you want to read more specifics about this particular interview/job journey, check out this post.

It is Finished

Just wanted to thank you all for following along with us in this job journey. What a journey it has been! I left for MOPS early this morning as the husband was awaiting the phone call, which we assumed was to talk with him further about the job. And as I was sitting down with the women at my table, I received a text from Peter with the below photo that said "Dada got the job!" I gasped and just praised God, Thank you Jesus! There's so much I want to say, but words just feel so insufficient right now. We are so overwhelmed with gratitude and pray that He has been honored and glorified through us in this journey. May you come to know His goodness and His faithfulness and His mercy in your own life and may our story somehow encourage your own. I can't wait to share with you all the details of this journey and of the past 2 weeks. He has shown Himself in so many ways, and I'm thankful for the eyes to see His hand in everything. He makes all things beautiful, and this journey is so beautiful. I invite you to rejoice with us as we will be doing some serious rejoicing in our house tonight!

And here are the other posts I've posted in the past week relating to this job. Part One, Part Two, Part Three. And it's funny that I even posted about this job in particular as I haven't done that with any of the husband's previous interviews. We just knew. It felt so different.

And the final installment.

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Jesus said "It is finished"

At 9AM this morning, our world spun on itself. The phone call we have waited on for 18 months arrived, the call we fell on our knees for, the call we cried, yelled and screamed for arrived. Today, I was offered a job for an organization that I am super stoked about. To say I am thrilled is the understatement of the millennium. To say I am humbled by all of your prayers and for God's reckless love is also an understatement.

This is an org that seems to perfectly fit my skills, knowledge, and passion. My first love was forests, and my first passion was environmental causes. Today, I come home, today I get to join a team seeking to certify 1 Billion acres of forest land as being sustainably managed. The implications for people, and planet are profound. This is such a good fit, a fit forged in 18 months of seeking and praying, a fit that almost did not happen. I could have stopped searching and given up on my dream, and taken a recent offer to fertilize grass for a living...But It felt like there was something else out there...something better. This job was actually closed when I applied, but by God's grace it was mistakenly kept posted online...and by God's grace my app was too good for them to not take a second look at, position closed or not!

Today, I cry, and I laugh as I look back and I see God's hands all over this past 18 months as well as this whole application process. From the moment I saw this job, everything felt different. It felt like this was it, could it be? Dare we dream again? They wanted an interview within HOURS of seeing my application. Dare we dream? Friends said I was perfect for this job. Dare we dream? We saw the FSC logo everywhere. Dare we dream? We fasted, God moved the process forward. Dare we dream? Breaking our fast, and at that exact moment our favourite David Crowder song comes on Spotify. Dare we dream? They want an in person interview - I nailed it, dare we dream? They want references? Dare we dream? I really want this job. Dare we dream? Today, no need to dream, it has happened!

There are moments over this past 18 months that will live with us forever. Getting prayer at church and crying as we desperately wanted God's eyes, and to understand his plan. Learning to let go of our career and hold on to Jesus. The generosity of friends, sending us letters of encouragement, even money out of the blue. The deep love of my wife, the time with my precious boys. The lessons learned about sharing and opening up our hearts to friends. What it feels like to to be low income, to depend on benefits and minimum wage. The love of our family. The hours spent with my life coach and friend, and the new way of being we dreamed up. The countless times at church when our pastor told us about God's love for us, about His presence even in hard times, about our worth being in Him and not what we do. The sermon series about Moses in the desert. Living simply, and within our new means and finding a new way to be - discounts people! The close calls, and near misses.

We are so grateful for you, and all that you have done for us through your presence in our life. It has been a wild ride, thanks for riding with us.

Blessings and love,

Peter, Malia, Jack, and Ryan.

Another Note from the Husband

So Peter has a second interview at 10:30 this morning and as I've been reflecting on the road to this interview and the possibility of this job, we see God's hand in all of it. I can't wait to share it with you all. If not this job, then something soon, I can feel it. We are so hopeful, probably more so than ever before, and that feels scary as we've walked the hall of so many closed doors. Could it really be that one might be opening? Or is it too good to be true? And we pray, please God show up. Show up on Peter's bus ride, show up in the interview, show up on Peter's ride home. We need you all our days. May we have eyes to see You in the many ways you show up. May we recognize your hand and the deep love you have for us! And may your will be done. And if this isn't it, then may you comfort us when the grief comes and when we mourn another closed door. And may we hold fast to our anchor knowing that regardless of the storm and the choppy waters, we are anchored to you and we have hope in you and your faithfulness.

And here's the update email from the husband. 
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Hello!

I hope you are well. I wanted to give you an update on the interview I had yesterday. It went really well and felt like an open, honest, and fun conversation. Your prayers played a huge part in my confidence and clarity during the interview. Thank you. 

In the end, I felt pretty good about how it went, but also more excited about being selected to join the team. The org is called Forestry Stewardship Council or FSC for short. They work around the globe to ensure thorough independently audited and verified practices, that forestry management and timber processing is done ethically, sustainably, and in an environmentally friendly manner. The certification reduces deforestation, increases revenues for companies, combats climate change, and builds community resilience and improves health outcomes. Basically a dream combo for me! 

To cut to the chase, they have asked me to come in for a second interview. I am, of course, stoked about this. The interview is on Friday of this week, not sure yet of times and places. Please continue to pray with us, as we hope the corner is turning.  Pray that I can continue to be bold, confident and enjoy the interview process! 

Blessings and thank you. 

Peter Drennan

A Note from the Husband

This season has been so incredibly hard, one we'll never ever forget, one I don't want to forget. We are either on our knees with tears streaming down our face as we wrestle with the grief of this season or reaching up toward the sky with our outstretched arms with tears streaming down our face as we rejoice in this season. There truly is a time for everything.  

The below words were written by my husband and sent out to friends in an email. And if I'm honest, his words brought me to tears. So much truth, so much vulnerability, so much growth, so much pain, so much grief, and so much love. 

And I wanted to share it with all of you - his interview is at 9 AM this morning. We covet your prayers.

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Hello,

I hope you are doing well. We are in Gig Harbor this weekend, to celebrate our Colombian sister-in-laws golden birthday. As I sit and look out over the harbor, the still waters, and sailboats while the boys seem to grow before my very eyes I am reminded of how GOOD GOD IS.  It has been 18 months since I stepped away from Pilgrim Africa, into the unknown of unemployment. What I wasn’t banking on was the next 18 months would be so full of doubt, fear, anger, and tears. That I would doubt my worth in the world, that I would be so thoroughly stripped down, and rebuilt. I was not banking on the stress, the way it would send shock waves through my marriage, and leave it creaking to its foundation. Who am I when I no longer work, or when I work “meaningless” jobs? Am I still worthy? Am I enough for my kids, my wife, enough for God? I had no idea I would have all of these questions! Nor was I banking on having to pry open my introverted soul and share with people what is going on inside! I preferred to keep my inner dialogue to myself thank you very much. BUT God has made me much smaller and in much more need of him and others…great…right?!

This next week I am interviewing with an org I am really excited about, and perhaps this is the corner I have been waiting to turn. I think I have been deconstructed and rebuilt, and let go and so I am hopeful about this opportunity. We would love for you to continue to pray with us as we navigate what we hope is the tail end of this season.

Blessings and Love,

Peter

Birthdays.

Today is Peter's 32nd Birthday!!

I'm so thankful this man was born - I can't imagine what my life would have been like otherwise, and quite frankly, I don't really want to.  So in honor of my husband, I thought I would get creative and come up with 32 things I love about this man.  Please forgive me if some of them seem repetitive!

So without further ado, and in no particular order...

1.   I love who I am when I'm with him!

2.   I absolutely LOVE his sense of humor.

3.   I love how easily he makes me laugh.

4.   I love his passion for justice.

5.   I love that he loves Jesus!

6.   I love the sound of his laughter.

7.   Thus, it only makes sense that I love making him laugh!

8.   I love how deeply he loves his family!

9.   I love how loyal he is.

10. I love his heart for the marginalized.

11. I love the way he loves me.

12. I love his beautiful green eyes

13. ...and the way they twinkle when he smiles!

14. I love how witty he is!

15. I love seeing the satisfaction he receives from yard projects, especially mowing the lawn!!!

16. I love waking up to him every morning and laughing with him at night.

17. I love his crazy, unruly hair when he says he is in need of a haircut.

18. I love his passion for traveling and seeing the world.

19. I love his accent and his love for all things Irish!

20. I love how he tidies up the house before I come home from a trip!

21. I love that he isn't afraid to cook - in fact he loves it!

22. I truly love that he eats every single thing I put in front of him and this man loves leftovers!

23. I love sharing life with him.

24. I love his family!

25. I love encouraging him and supporting him.

26. I love how he lives his life with such purpose!

27. I love how excited he gets about our urban garden and all the things growing in it!

28. I love that he thinks I'm funny!

29. I love how he loves my family.

30. I love that he is a man of integrity.

31. I love his sense of adventure.

32. And last, but certainly not least, I love how excited he is to be a dad!!

Happy Birthday to my sweet husband!!

xoxo,

your wife

Stories.

So if I may boast again about my darling husband...I think I would boast about his beautiful writing abilities. Now I know we all have our giftings and my Leadership Through Storytelling class clearly showed me that my gifting was NOT creative writing NOR storytelling when I had to make UP the story and create dialogue and all that malarky. Now writing about myself and telling my OWN personal stories - now I can do that. But writing about things that have yet to happen? and creating fantasy conversations between two people? and writing overly descriptively so that people feel as though they are a part of it all? Now THAT is hard for me!

However, what is hard for me may come easy for another - and that another is my husband! Peter can just sit down and write the most beautiful stories in moments, and yes I am jealous of this gifting, but it doesn't mean I don't boast about it or appreciate it! I clearly remember a specific moment where I had to write this story for this said class and parts of the story were in fact true because I just couldn't make up the ENTIRE thing. I wanted to write about something real and tangible and I wanted my characters to be real people - so they were, but I still had to create dialogue and I still had to use a TON of descriptive words and I still struggled. But my husband is a beautiful writer. So I thought I would consult him, and I did and within minutes he had turned my simple, plain, boring dialogue into something vibrant and beautiful. He even advised me on my descriptive words and within minutes the characters and the situation came alive! Now that my friends is a gift and a talent....so I thought instead of going on and on about my husband's writing abilities, I would share one of his stories with all of you! And I may even try to round up a few of his oldies and share them on here. But read this one first...and read it through to the end..because the ending is the BEST PART!

GALLOWS by Peter Drennan.

He walked slowly to the gallows. He could not remember his name. He had no name, only people of worth had names. He was worth nothing, simply a waste of human genome. Maybe he once had a name? maybe he even had a family? maybe he was once loved? But not anymore, now he was merely sub human. As he walked, in torn clothes that barely covered his naked form, the crowds gathered to jeer at him. They screamed profanity, throwing rotten food and animal entrails at him. They spit on him, hurling insults and excrement. They were enraged by his very existence. He insulted their humanity. His clothes were torn from him. He was kicked to the ground, naked, stinking and humiliated. He continued to walk, crawl and scramble to the gallows and to his judgement. If he was lucky he will be hung today. It was what he deserved.

As he reached the platform, he saw his judge and executioner. His heart filled with dread, The Accuser was known for no mercy and no quick kills. The Accuser relished in torture and hearing his victims blood curdling screams. He climbed the steps, unable to hear anything but the crowds accusations and insults. But he deserved it. He deserved it all because he went too far. The Accuser stood there, draped in a black cloak with deep black eyes that glint with blue fire - cold yet ablaze with a deep fire. On his shirt cuff was embossed the words ACCUSER OF ALL. It is The Accuser that OWNS the crowd and the entire world.

The Accuser cried, "YOU are accused of being filthy, disgusting, depraved, ugly and worthless! What say YOU!"

The crowd cheered, and a new wave of filth left their mouths.

The Accuser is not yet finished and the cries continued, "YOU are guilty of everything! IT is ALL your fault! What say YOU! Look -your own family has rejected you, and they did not even name YOU! NO one wants you."

He was unable to speak, yet he found himself nodding with the accuser, agreeing with him. His mouth was trapped shut, and his mind fell into darkness as he accepted what The Accuser was saying.

"You will be sentenced today, and there will be no chance of ANY pardon. Sentenced to punishment in the pit of torture where all of the SCUM go!" cried The Accuser. The crowd wanted to tear him to pieces themselves, the words of The Accuser intoxicated them and they celebrated in an orgy of rage.

The Accuser continued..."YOU may have heard a rumour of some promising pardons. Well that is a LIE. YOU are all un-forgivable...and in any case I KILLED that liar a long time ago." The Accuser removed his hood and gave a terrifying battle cry of pride. He cried, "Step forward and take your punishment." The crowd reached a fever. The Accuser continued, "NO one can save you and no one would want to!"

He braced his body for his eternal punishment. As he reached out his hand to recieve the cold hand of Fate, he heard a word he has never heard before - A word that was pure, a word that was not ugly but beautiful. It was whispered. It's sound was refreshing like a summers rain. It was not from the crowd. Their words were like sandpaper on an open wound. Their words were growled, and they came out of the bowels of the firey dungeon. No... this word changed everything. He tried to say it back but it had been so long since he had spoken, and his voice was like a crackle. He kept hearing the word. The Accuser jeered, "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING FOOL! Look he is retarded now as well as disgusting!" But there was less certainty and revillry in his voice now, almost as if he could hear the word himself.

The word got louder and clearer and the crowd stirred. Someone came walking through the crowd. They removed their cloak, strode up the steps and stood beside him. She said, "John it's me. It's Grace. Remember me, remember what I promised?" On her cloak was the word he was trying to say, the word he was hearing but could not say...

The Accuser was furious and cried, "THERE IS NO ONE here called John...just a filthy criminal!" Grace, turned to The Accuser and said, "YOU fool, you have no idea what has already happened. You are no longer the accuser of the realm and John is no longer under your dominion. YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE! John, I named you before you were born, you are not filthy you are worthy and glorious. Come with me and we will go onto the other gallows and whisper those words you heard and build the new realm where the accuser has no rule!" the accuser shook at her words and cried, "NO ...LIES ...SHE SAYS LIES! PUNISH HIM!!"

Then Grace so gracefully said..."John lets go see your friends, and your Father. He has been waiting for you for a very long time." John replied, "Grace, you saved me...but why?" Grace replied with a sigh, "Oh John, we have been searching for you for a long time, you have no idea how much we love you!"

I am a PROUD Wife!

And because I am a proud wife I post things like this on our blog... So as many of you know my husband, Peter, works for an organization called Children of the Nations (COTN), and they just recently launched a new component on their website... a fundraising page where you can go and read about the work Peter is doing at COTN. I am extremely proud of my husband and his work with COTN and wanted to share it with ALL OF YOU!! This past May we visited Malawi and Uganda - two of the countries Peter works closely with seeing as he is the country liaison for both countries - and it was such a blessing to be able to meet the people he talks about and to see the development projects he is working on!! These projects truly are soo important...people are soo poor and they are in dire need of income generating opportunities.

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO AND WITHOUT BABBLING TOO MUCH... DO US BOTH A FAVOR AND CHECK OUT THE LINK and let me know if you are interested in hearing more!

http://www.cotni.org/staff/peter-drennan

If you have any questions or want more information please do not hesitate to ask!

One Day.

I can’t quite remember how I first heard about this book…but I knew I had it on my library list for some reason. I had heard about it from somewhere…maybe some magazine or online review? So when my friend Laura started talking about how she wanted to read this book that she had heard about called One Day by a man named Nichols, David Nichols..it all sort of clicked…hmm? I think I just got an email from the library saying this book was ready and waiting for pickup!

Well let’s just say I finally got around to picking the book up from my favorite place, the library! The book has been truly delightful – so delightful that I have devoured it in a matter of days. I have locked myself up in a room at the canal. I have said no to walks, lunch and conversation. However, I did say yes to a ride to the shop simply because I felt as though I was alienating myself and getting a little too consumed in my book (plus, I didn’t want to finish the book TOO soon, I mean I didn’t bring anything else to read!!)

I found myself making assumptions about what was going to happen next and to my disappointment some of my assumptions came true. I found myself savoring every single page, yet somehow I finished the entire book in a day, so I suppose the savoring part is up for debate. But let me tell you it has been awhile since I have done that…it has been awhile since I have enjoyed a book this much. I found myself laughing out loud at bits and sharing the pages with my family members who listened kindly, but were probably rolling their eyes inside themselves.

So the book review in People Magazine states, “Bright, sexy, minty-fresh college grads Emma and Dexter hook up one day in 1988 – but can they ever be a real couple? Checking in on the pair once a year on the same date, July 15, over a period of two decades during which both become famous (but for very different reasons), this instant classic – a huge bestseller last year in Britain- is one of the most hilarious and emotionally riveting love stories you’ll ever encounter”…and the review goes on “When Dex and Emma get together, the banter is music and you’ll be humming along. Read it before the movie gets made: you’ll want to be amongst the snobs explaining why the book was better”.

FIRST off…I had no idea it was going to be a movie till I had nearly 30 pages left to read. I found my mom’s people magazine sitting on the table and went straight to the book reviews only to find this book listed amongst the others. I thought to myself…hmm maybe that’s where I first heard of the book; maybe it was this same review within the pages of people magazine. Who knew their reviews were reliable!??

This book is based around one day, July 15. The book goes backward and forward and back again and I must admit at times I was slightly confused and found myself going backward and forward within the pages to figure out how many years and places had passed between the two of them. I won’t spoil the book too much…but there was this one part in the book where Emma mentions that there were so many things she wanted to talk to him about and when she didn’t see him, she thought about him every single day…she says, “I thought about you every day, I mean EVERY DAY in some way or another even if it was just “I wish Dexter could see this” or “where’s Dexter now?” or “That Dexter, what an idiot!” …And he responds by saying “Same here!”

And all this talk got me thinking…their relationship/friendship started after just a few days spent together. The friendship deepened over time thanks to long letters and intentional moments. Their friendship and their story reminded me of a story I am quite familiar with. It reminded me of a story I have lived – a story that was filled with obstacles, different time zones, different accents, late nights, early mornings and long emails. It reminded me of my own story and my own reluctance to love.

Is there someone in your life that you think about EVERY single day whether you are with him or her or not? Have you met someone while you were dating another and wished you were single just for that one moment? Have you met someone after you were married and wondered if this new person was the one you should have waited for? Have you crossed paths with someone while traveling and wondered what it could have been had the circumstances been different?

While reading this book, I thought…Gosh thank God I married Peter because if I hadn’t he would have been that person for me! I would have thought about him EVERY SINGLE day for the rest of my life. I would have thought about the what ifs and the could haves and the should haves. I would still be comparing every man I met to this one, amazing man I had met in Ireland. We only spent a total of 18 days together, but that was enough for me….that was enough for him to steal my heart and my trust. That was enough for me to desire a deep friendship from him ….That was enough for him to make me laugh till I cried....that was enough for me to want more.

Six Years ago TODAY, July 3rd, our beautiful story began…and all Peter and I needed was just one day (okay maybe it was a few more than that, but you get the point!). I am so very thankful that we have had not just one day, but many days and I pray that we are blessed with so many more and that those days turn into years.

Living Alone.

So as many of you know Peter went to the Dominican Republic for the week last week. I had him back for a few days only to have him pack up his bags AGAIN for a work retreat in Seabeck. I will see him Tuesday night briefly, and then he is taking me to the airport for VEGAS on Wednesday. It all sounds crazy, but my main point is that I am all alone AGAIN for the second time in 2 weeks.

Last week at my bible study the girls were asking me my thoughts on having Peter gone. They said they had mixed thoughts on how I might handle this situation. I had come to them months ago stating how I just wanted some time alone. Well my cries were answered, and I spent that first day ALONE ALL DAY - granted it was my choice to do that, but it was almost a test to me to see if I could still do it. Had being married altered this desire to spend time alone or in silence? I discovered that the answer was NO that desire is still very much present.

To be quite honest, I discovered a lot about myself this past week. One being I can live without my best friend for a week. I would rather NOT have to, but I can do it. Two, I just don't really like living on my own. Don't get me wrong, I loved doing my own thing and making plans with friends who I haven't seen in ages, but I don't like coming home to an empty apartment. Three, the apartment stays cleaner ALOT longer when there is just one. Four, there isn't nearly as much laundry to be done when there is just one. Five, I had no problem filling my time, but I kind of get tired of having to schedule things and miss the spontaneity of friend dates. Six, I just love having someone to come home to. Are you seeing a pattern here? I love living with OTHER people and I DO NOT like living alone.

All in all, I embraced the MALIA time. I read so many books, stayed up late, left the bedroom light on as long as I wanted, had dinner whenever I wanted, woke up when I wanted. Ultimately though it all seemed so selfish because it was ALL about me and I didn't have to WORRY about anyone else. This I don't really like, and it may be the one of the main reasons I love living in community, whether that be with one person or 4 people. When you live in community, you share life together, you make sacrifices, your friendship is spontaneous, and your heart is transformed.

Love and Respect.

So for the past few weeks Peter and I have been reading this book together called Love and Respect, and I must say we love it, or at least I do! It has been fun to read a book together again, and he was suppose to take it to the Dominican Republic with him, but unfortunately he forgot it, probably on purpose! So now I have to wait like a whole week before reading from it again. Turns out the book is actually funny and we have had some laugh out loud moments while reading it. There have been many far too many times where I have thought, gosh his wife sounds just like ME! And he sounds just like Peter.

Some insights...In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”. Interesting huh that the woman isn’t called to love her husband, but to respect him. Loving him comes naturally for her, and not so much for him. The main message in the book is that without love, women react, and without respect men react and he calls this the CRAZY CYCLE. When a husband feels disrespected, it is hard for him to love his wife, and when a wife feels unloved it is hard for her to respect her husband.

He writes, “I leave wet towels where they don’t belong. I leave a loaf of bread on the counter. I leave the counter doors open. I leave book stacked on the living room floor. I have an excuse, of course: I am mentally preoccupied…now don’t get me wrong. I am not a pig. But I am married to Sarah, who is the epitome of neatness and cleanliness, and I flunk by her standards. She is not a perfectionist, but she is logical. Why leave a towel on the bed when a rack is in the bathroom waiting for the towel? Why leave a cupboard door open when the hinge functions both ways? “ – OH MAN I LOVE THIS because I am Sarah and Peter is him. However, I unlike Sarah think gosh why can’t Peter pick up after himself…he knows that it matters to me. If he really loved me he would pick up after himself because he knows it means a lot to me. And the author, Emerson, says that’s the WORST thing you can assume. The bottom line is, your husband does love you, and the wife can’t attack him with that assumption. That was a new insight!

The author, Emerson, writes about how men and women send each other messages in code, based on gender, even though we don't intend to. And he gives a great example as to how this plays out at home as couples are getting dressed in the morning.

She says, " I have nothing to wear." (she means she has nothing new.)
He says, " I have nothing to wear." (he means he has nothing clean.)

I love this example because it is so very true! He then goes on to say that the difference between men and women is that women look at the world through pink sunglasses that color all she sees, while men look at the world through blue sunglasses that color all he sees. Men and women can look at precisely the same situation and see life much differently. He then mentions how men and women also hear differently - God created men with blue hearing aids and women with pink hearing aids. They may hear the same words but get much different messages.

Ephesians 5 commands husbands to love their wives, and commands wives to respect their husbands. Is it really that simple? Why does it seem so much easier than it actually is? I feel like this way of thinking is everywhere now, and on my way to work they were talking about Love and Respect, not the book, but the concepts. The radio host was saying how when her and her husband got married they wrote out their marriage expectations. She of course had pages of expectations, while her husband had about 5 and all of them centered around RESPECT. Then she went on to say for men and women love means different things...for men love IS respect. And after 8 months of marriage I have realized that Peter does want to be loved, but ultimately he longs to be respected.

Overall, I would recommend the book to all married couples and we are only two chapters in! I'll let you know if my thoughts are altered once its finished.

Dominican Republic.

So yesterday I received a call from Peter at work informing me that he had been offered a FREE trip to the DR because a guy was thinking about backing out of an already existing trip. I must admit that for just a short moment my heart sunk to the floor simply because i knew staying home wasn't an option and i knew i was going to miss him ALOT while he was gone. For selfish reasons I wanted to plead and say ..no you can't go, we have only been married 8 months, you cant leave me for a whole week on my own, what if something happens? what if someone breaks into the apartment? What if you die in a plane crash? no you just can't go...well let's be honest, I did plead a little bit before i realized how selfish and silly I was being. I mean if you had heard peters voice on the phone, and the excitement that was laced within his words, you would never tell the guy no! But my favorite part was that once the trip was offered, he told them that he had to talk to his wife about it...and i did NOT want to be that wife that had axed her husbands hopes and dreams. NO i wanted to be the wife that encouraged her husbands adventuresome and spontaneous spirit. i wanted to be the wife that did not hold her husband back, but rather encouraged him to be bold in his faith and his abilities.

Then after a full day of waiting... he is informed that he should pack his bags for the DR, BUT its going to cost him. My initial reaction was to panic simply because we are spending so much of our money on our Africa trip, but then I thought Peter has saved this money for times such as these, and he has been dying to go to the DR!! And then to make the situation even more beautiful people started offering to support him in this endeavor. Through all this I have realized how much I deeply love Peter, and how good and gracious our God is. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the way He has provided for peter and I over these past 8 months. Thank you Jesus for my husband, for adventures, and spontaneity!

Love to Love you.

LOVE

Just this past week during a moment of complete routine and normalcy, peter turns to me on the couch and says I love you more today than I did when we first got married. Yesterday he informed me that he loved me more that day then he had the day before. Truly, for a wife, these words are music to my ears, and my hope and prayer is that we never stop falling deeper and deeper in love with each other. We have been married nearly 8 months now and it truly does keep getting better and better. each and every day i learn something new about him, or about myself and the way i love him.

Someone asked me at work this past week what i have learned after being married nearly 8 months and i said i have learned so much about myself..good things and some bad things. Within marriage your spouse is like a mirror, reflecting the good and the bad parts of yourself. During these past 8 months, I have realized just how selfish, impatient, demanding, unloving and downright cruel i can be. i have realized that my tendency is to be stubborn and yell and kick and scream until peter is tired of attempting to compromise, and i ultimately end up getting my way. I have realized that I love peter more today than I did when we got married. I have realized that i Love to love him, encourage him, support him, kiss him...I love being married. I love living life together, and I love the smallest things, like having breakfast together in the morning, dinner together at night, and going to bed at the same time, i love our night time chats. i love dreaming together. i love that he consults me about decisions big and small. lets be honest, i love it all...but it makes it all the more better because i truly love peter. hes my best friend and my number one buddy and i love being with him. he makes my soul soar and cheers me up when I am down and when the skies are gray. i love being loved by him and loving him in return.

So basically I just love him...did you get that??

Gasworks.

So It was ANOTHER beautiful day on Sunday and after church we ventured to Gasworks where Peter got some AMAZING photos. While there, all i could think about was how much i love that place and how YEARS ago before peter and I were official we rode our bikes to Gasworks for a picnic, even then he was a pro on his bike and glided like an eagle down the roads, while I think I nearly got hit by a car on our way down there just trying to keep up with him and wobbled all the way down.