Thank you

Today is my husband's first day at his new job. And I forced him to take a mandatory first day photo to mark this day for years to come.

As he packed his lunch last night and as his alarm went off this morning, I was once again reminded of how much will be changing in the days, weeks and months to come. I mean it's literally been like 18 months since this man has had to set an alarm as we tend to wake up to the sounds of little feet pattering across the hall into our room or little voices in our ears rather than a beep, beep, beep of an alarm.

And if I'm honest, I've been mourning that change in our life as we know it, and this past week has been hard for me emotionally. But that's just what I do, I mourn and I grieve what is before I can fully enter into a new routine, a new stage and I know this about myself. I did this when Peter and I got married, when I started a new job, and when I had my first child, and even when I had my second.

But as I gently nudged him willing him not to fall back to sleep, and as he slowly crawled out of bed, I was just filled with so much gratitude.

Thank you Jesus for this past season.

Thank you Jesus for this new one.

Thank you Jesus for Your provision.

Thank you so much for this life that I'm living.

And as the husband said his goodbyes and as I prayed over him and his first day, I was again just overwhelmed with gratitude.

Thank you Jesus for this man, for his heart, for the way he loves his family so deeply, for the way he loves You without question. I am so proud of him!

Thank you for Your words and Your truth that encouraged us time and time again.

Thank you for reminding us that there is a time for everything and that You make everything beautiful in Your time (Ecclesiastes 3).

Thank you for giving us eyes to see You amidst the grief and the suffering.

Thank you for the deep moments of joy and laughter amidst that grief and suffering.

Thank you for this season of suffering as we have learned the true depth of Romans 5:1-5 and the perseverance and the character and everlasting hope that comes from those really hard moments.

And as the kids cried as they were so sad to see Dada go, I held them a little tighter and cried with tears of joy as I sent my husband off.

This is what we've been waiting for!

And when Peter emailed me today from his new work email and simply stated "its real", I replied back stating "and I'm crying!"

Thank you Jesus.

May we never forget that You are Lord.

May we never forget that You are Good in all seasons. 

May we continue to run into Your arms and know that the riches of Your LOVE will always be enough!

And lastly, thank you to all of you, to our community, for praying for us, for thinking of us, for pleading to the Lord on our behalf.

We are so grateful to the Lord for all of you, for your support and encouragement through this journey.

May we continue to spur each other on and encourage and support each other for His glory!

If you want to read about the husband's journey to this job, check out this post.

Note from the Husband

Just wanted to update you all on the job front. Peter received an email last night asking for references, letters of recommendation, and they requested he fill out a background check form. Things are moving along, and we are really hopeful. Again, we truly feel God's hand in all of it. And we continue to wait with anticipation for what is to come. And it's strange for me to think about being in a different season, other than the one we're currently in as we've been sitting in it for so long. I've found I've gotten quite comfortable with it, with the waiting, with the full reliance on Him, with the presence of my husband around the home. It's been a season of growth and a season of transformation and a season of being deeply reminded just how loved we are. And as much as I wouldn't wish this season on anyone, I'm just so thankful to be here, in this place, resting in this season as we await what is to come. And I know with the changing of the seasons, we look back at the mud and the dirt and we can see life sprouting up from it.

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Hello,

Yesterday morning I had my interview. The short version was it was highly enjoyable. I left the interview knowing I had taken a good hard swing and could not have done any better. If they do not hire me then whoever is hired will be spectacular. I felt the levity of your prayers and the confidence of the Lord and He gave me the comfort to relax and basically hit a home run. Of course there a few things I would have added in hindsight or done differently but I also know I gave it my best shot and if I do not get it I will be surprised but also stoked for the FSC as they will have hired someone else who must be amazing! I also know that if I get this one, it will be divinely appointed and all glory will be to God. This position was actually closed and they had their final two when they got my application and realized I was worth a shot!

The best question was "What is your spirit animal?"...would love to hear your off the cuff answer! As well as why it is your choice...

Blessings and thank you. We should know within the next few days...till then we continue to pray. 

Peter

Another Note from the Husband

So Peter has a second interview at 10:30 this morning and as I've been reflecting on the road to this interview and the possibility of this job, we see God's hand in all of it. I can't wait to share it with you all. If not this job, then something soon, I can feel it. We are so hopeful, probably more so than ever before, and that feels scary as we've walked the hall of so many closed doors. Could it really be that one might be opening? Or is it too good to be true? And we pray, please God show up. Show up on Peter's bus ride, show up in the interview, show up on Peter's ride home. We need you all our days. May we have eyes to see You in the many ways you show up. May we recognize your hand and the deep love you have for us! And may your will be done. And if this isn't it, then may you comfort us when the grief comes and when we mourn another closed door. And may we hold fast to our anchor knowing that regardless of the storm and the choppy waters, we are anchored to you and we have hope in you and your faithfulness.

And here's the update email from the husband. 
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Hello!

I hope you are well. I wanted to give you an update on the interview I had yesterday. It went really well and felt like an open, honest, and fun conversation. Your prayers played a huge part in my confidence and clarity during the interview. Thank you. 

In the end, I felt pretty good about how it went, but also more excited about being selected to join the team. The org is called Forestry Stewardship Council or FSC for short. They work around the globe to ensure thorough independently audited and verified practices, that forestry management and timber processing is done ethically, sustainably, and in an environmentally friendly manner. The certification reduces deforestation, increases revenues for companies, combats climate change, and builds community resilience and improves health outcomes. Basically a dream combo for me! 

To cut to the chase, they have asked me to come in for a second interview. I am, of course, stoked about this. The interview is on Friday of this week, not sure yet of times and places. Please continue to pray with us, as we hope the corner is turning.  Pray that I can continue to be bold, confident and enjoy the interview process! 

Blessings and thank you. 

Peter Drennan

A Note from the Husband

This season has been so incredibly hard, one we'll never ever forget, one I don't want to forget. We are either on our knees with tears streaming down our face as we wrestle with the grief of this season or reaching up toward the sky with our outstretched arms with tears streaming down our face as we rejoice in this season. There truly is a time for everything.  

The below words were written by my husband and sent out to friends in an email. And if I'm honest, his words brought me to tears. So much truth, so much vulnerability, so much growth, so much pain, so much grief, and so much love. 

And I wanted to share it with all of you - his interview is at 9 AM this morning. We covet your prayers.

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Hello,

I hope you are doing well. We are in Gig Harbor this weekend, to celebrate our Colombian sister-in-laws golden birthday. As I sit and look out over the harbor, the still waters, and sailboats while the boys seem to grow before my very eyes I am reminded of how GOOD GOD IS.  It has been 18 months since I stepped away from Pilgrim Africa, into the unknown of unemployment. What I wasn’t banking on was the next 18 months would be so full of doubt, fear, anger, and tears. That I would doubt my worth in the world, that I would be so thoroughly stripped down, and rebuilt. I was not banking on the stress, the way it would send shock waves through my marriage, and leave it creaking to its foundation. Who am I when I no longer work, or when I work “meaningless” jobs? Am I still worthy? Am I enough for my kids, my wife, enough for God? I had no idea I would have all of these questions! Nor was I banking on having to pry open my introverted soul and share with people what is going on inside! I preferred to keep my inner dialogue to myself thank you very much. BUT God has made me much smaller and in much more need of him and others…great…right?!

This next week I am interviewing with an org I am really excited about, and perhaps this is the corner I have been waiting to turn. I think I have been deconstructed and rebuilt, and let go and so I am hopeful about this opportunity. We would love for you to continue to pray with us as we navigate what we hope is the tail end of this season.

Blessings and Love,

Peter

Anniversary: Four Years.

Peter and I celebrated our four year anniversary a few weeks ago now.  I can't even believe it's been that long to be honest, but I think I have said that every year since the first (you can read my post about our second year and our third year).

Four years ago, this man made me his wife!  I get emotional just thinking about the way God knit our lives together, across continents and time zones, against all odds and obstacles...I found you.  I couldn't have asked for a better partner, and I truly praise God for you!

And in my time of knowing you...we have gone from babies (not literally) to having a baby. 

We celebrated by going to a local restaurant, Elliot Bay Brewing company, that we have been dying to check out for the past two years!  And considering we currently have a live-in babysitter (Uncle Mark, Peter's brother, is visiting from Ireland/Sierra Leone for a few months), we didn't even make the plans until the day of. 

And it was glorious to sit in my husband's presence without the distraction of others or a baby, while enjoying a nice, cold, local bevie.

And while we waited for our food to arrive, Peter read me this email that I had sent him over 7 years ago, and simply said I know these are your words, but this is how I feel even after all these years.

"When I think about this term forever....what does it mean??  I mean what does that mean to you??...strange to think about marriage and this idea of forever...could I really love someone forever?Could I really put up with someone every SINGLE day and still love them!  Could someone really love ME forever?..and put up with me every single day...that's the way to really look at it. And I think yes...I really could and someone else really could.  And I think about us...I hate saying goodbye to you because I always feel like there is so much more to be said - there is so much more I could say to you - so much more to feel....so much more to share.

I have never looked forward to talking to someone as much as I look forward to you.  I get excited for stories, for jokes, for sharing, for laughter...for it all.  When I think about you I smile.. peter...this morning you talked about missing me when I leave...and I don't even like thinking about it because I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest every time I have the thought of saying goodbye to you.  I'm crying now just thinking about it...seriously peter...why do you have this effect on me?  It sometimes drives me INSANE and other times I really love it!...I just am at a loss for words sometimes when it comes to you peter...you look at me, and my heart melts ...you look at me and I see your heart through your eyes..I always have, but more recently I don't think I'm afraid to really look in them and see all that you are feeling...I can handle it now...I think I was afraid of really looking at you and into your eyes because I knew the impact it would have on me emotionally but now its like I welcome that feeling...that overwhelming feeling...and I think...is this for real??....I can NOT believe I met this guy...I can NOT believe I feel this way, and I haven't even kissed him..haha!!...."

Don't worry, that no kissing thing became a thing of the past about a month after this email was sent.

I love that Peter took the time to go back through old emails...to read over the words we had shared with each other, the emotions that covered those words, and the deep friendship that evolved so many years ago.

And after he read this one to me, I of course had to track down a few email gems from Peter to share with you.

February 6, 2007 - this one from Peter, the above email was in response to this one.

"So I thought I would be the bigger person and email u.  I mean I can't wait for a reply forever.  So I dunno if I will see you tonight or not, maybe I will, maybe I won't.  I think u like to keep me guessing.  I hope core group went well today.  Was nice to see u even though I was so awkward...that was weird.  Yeah, well if I see u tonight u can probably just ignore this email...so I just wanted to tell u that I had coffee with (insert girl's name) today.  Just wanted to catch up with her and see what's fresh in her life.  We talked about you a fair bit, and I just kept thinking about what u said last night, how could I have been interested in other girls?  Malia, it's always been Malia.  Always.  And I was like Malia, she's the girl for me, no other girls has a chance.  It's always been about u, none of the other girls even stood a chance.  Just wanted to say that.  ...."

And one more from Peter - May 31, 2006

"So it's 2am and I just got back from the stube, and I've had a drink or 2, but I just wanna say I had a great time and I love my intern team.  They are the most incredible people I have ever met.  Ever.  I am in love with them all.

This is not the drink talking but I am so incredibly proud of u, I have never been so proud of ANYONE in all my life...THAT includes the time I watched Stu play rugby and I nearly cried...u are so wonderful to me.  So very wonderful.  I wanna see u and tell u that, hold me to that by the way.  Malia u r so special to me, like really u are.  I have such a high view of u, and I am so glad I met u.  Like I say I'm proud of u, no one has ever challenged me like u do.  So much to say but I really should hit the hay...it's been an emotional night for me, but just know that I would never change, swap, or look down on u...u are like a dream come true for me."

A dream come true...you heard it here friends.  The husband thinks I'm a dream come true...let's hope this never changes. 

Here's to four years married Husband and nine years of knowing you, here's to countless emails and late night phone conversations, here's to so much love, joy and laughter, and hopefully much much more.  Love you to the moon and back again.

xoxo,

Your wife

The Husband.

this photo was taken the day LB was born

So Peter celebrated his first proper Father's Day back in June.  And I say his first proper one because we found out just 4 days before Father's Day last year that we were having a baby!  And I should have written a Father's Day post this year, but I didn't, and I figured it doesn't have to be Father's Day for me to write about my darling husband.

This photo of Peter takes me back to that day...they day our lives changed...the day LB was born.  And what a day it was.  Our dear friends, Laura and Tim, had come to visit us at the hospital, and we were showing Laura the little hat another friend had made for Jack.  And Laura couldn't get over how teeny tiny it was - so she took a picture of Peter holding it of course.  Peter looks mischievous and so tired in the photo.  And I don't blame him, we had been living at the hospital for a full week at that time, and neither of us were getting much sleep.

I have loved this man for a long time, and I have known him for even longer.  And one characteristic that remains true of my husband to this day is that this man is LOYAL.  I remember him saying, after I was admitted to the hospital,  "I'll just stay somewhere nearby and come visit every day."  He knew how terrible that pull out couch thing was going to be to sleep on and after the first night, he realized just how much his sleep was going to be interrupted by the nurses. Umm...yeah right!  That man didn't leave my side.  Well, actually that's a lie, he went home to pack up some of the essentials for the both of us considering we didn't have a single thing packed.  But he was there every single night...when it mattered the most.  He was my biggest advocate, and he was there every step of the way.

And now, here we are ...Parents.  And I must say there is something truly beautiful about seeing Peter with Jack - this child that God used Peter and I both to create.  Peter has entered into this new role so gracefully and with so much joy, and to be honest, I didn't expect anything less.  Granted, I know for a fact he doesn't enjoy the late nights and the disrupted sleep, but I also know that he adores his son.  And he absolutely loves being his dad.

And seeing them together makes my heart ache.  He finds so much joy in making Jack giggle or watching him roll over or feeding him.  He finds so much joy in taking care of his family,  changing Jack's diaper (only the non-poopy ones!!), cooking food for dinner, and the list could go on.  I am blessed.

I truly can't imagine doing this new parent thing alone.  Peter keeps me sane, and he keeps me laughing.  And he partners with me so beautifully in life and in raising Jack.  He is so hands on, and so willing to participate in all of Jack's care, and I am so thankful for him, for the way he loves me, for the way he loves our son.

This whole being a parent thing has changed him a little - made his heart a little softer, made his touch a little more tender, made his love run even deeper.  And it has been such a blessing to see.  Thank you Jesus for this man!  Jack and I are so blessed to have him in our lives.

The End - no need for me to gush anymore, I think you get the point!

But I will leave you with a few of my favorite Father/Son photos....

It's the Little Things.

I know, I know - it's Monday, and there should be a baby update right?  But I figured I would do that tomorrow after Peter takes the weekly photo!  So stay tuned for that tomorrow, and for now, this little things post can tide you over.

I spent 4 hours today getting ready for Peter to come home - which entailed stocking up the fridge with all sorts of baked goods!  I have homemade pasta sauce cooking in the crockpot.  I baked banana bread and banana squares with homemade frosting.  I baked two quiche dishes - one crustless/bacon quiche and one with crust and without bacon!  However, only one quiche survived.  Accidentally put the pie dish containing the egg dish on top of a burner that was red hot and intended for the potatoes.  Well, let's just say, the quiche kept cooking, and I was confused, but didn't notice what was going on until it was too late, and the pie dish popped and the glass exploded everywhere, and the eggy quiche dish kept cooking on the burner.  Oh it was a mess!  Good thing I made two!

I am pretty excited for a mouth to feed, can you tell?

This is the second time I have made this sauce!  Here is the recipe - love using the fresh tomatoes from our garden and love being able to freeze the sauce for later use. 

The banana bread is just a regular recipe with some cinnamon and nutmeg added into the mix.  And for the banana squares, you can find the recipe here.  It's almost like banana cake, but I omitted the chocolate chips - and the frosting is a cream cheese frosting.

And this is the quiche that exploded!  At least I got a picture of it right?  I used a tomato and basil quiche recipe as the basis and then added a few extra items to it.  The basic recipe is here.  Should be good!

Today, I found myself extremely thankful for my computer and the camera capacity it offers - or else I wouldn't have these lovely photos.  I am also extremely thankful for life and for my marriage!  Counting down the hours until I get to embrace my darling husband.  And I am extremely thankful for this little baby that is moving around in my belly - God is so good!

Happy Monday!

xoxo, 

Malia

Sunday School.

Peter and I taught Sunday school this past Sunday, and it truly was a Sunday I will never forget!  The kids were in rare form, and they didn't want to listen to either of us.  We had a plethora of first moments - I had to separate children (never done that in Sunday School before), and confiscate toys (that's no fun, but they were fighting over them, and it was driving me CRAZY), and last, but definitely not least, Peter changed his first diaper!!  So proud of him!  I am still trying to figure out how this man made it to the lovely age of 31 without changing a single diaper.  He has somehow managed to avoid all opportunities up until now, and this time he simply couldn't get out of it.  Makes me smile just thinking about it - I am terrible I know!

Let me tell you how it went down, as I am sure you are just dying to hear it right?  Well, the morning started off as any other Sunday school morning.  We were doing a craft, after story time had failed miserably on my part - the kids just wouldn't listen!  And they were fighting with each other and stealing each other's toys - and I couldn't handle it! So story time ended a bit prematurely, but the kids weren't phased at all.

So back to the diaper story...we were doing a craft, and this little guy jumps off his seat and crawls under the table (resuming pooping position, I'm sure!).  He is stretched out on his tummy - just hanging out!  I thought something might be up - I mean he had never done this before.  And when Peter asked him if he was okay, he looked at him slightly teary eyed.  He eventually crawled out from under the table and sat in Peter's lap for awhile.  I started to smell something a little out of the ordinary - so I asked Peter to ask said child if he needed to go to the bathroom.  He sweetly replied no, he was fine!

Well turns out he wasn't fine!  Next thing we know, little boy has put his hand down his pants, and pulled out some little brown treasures.  He turned to Peter and showed him his hand and declared, "UH OH!"  Peter panicked a bit in that moment - bless his heart.  I sweetly smiled at him and said..."it's all you!"  So Peter took him to the bathroom, but he couldn't find diapers, so he just washed the little guys hands and scraped the brown stuff out from under his little fingernails.

And they came back to the classroom with boy still wearing dirty diaper - Peter thought his job was done, but little did he know it was just beginning!  I insisted that he change the diaper, and I knew just where they were.  Please keep in mind the boy is three - so he is most definitely walking and talking!  I mean what do you do in this case?  Do you put the child up on a changing table?  That just seemed weird!  So Peter took the boy back into the bathroom, with the plan that he would just pull the diaper off him while he was standing up.  Sounds like a good plan right? Well it would have been if  my darling husband could have found the tabs on the sides (perhaps the kid was wearing pampers? - hence no tabs), but he couldn't find them - so the diaper came down over the little boys socks.  And let's just say the little boy somehow managed to put his little sock covered foot directly onto his dirty diaper before it made it's way off him!  So now Peter had a dirty diaper and a dirty sock on his hands.

So what did he do?  Well he disposed of the diaper and packaged up that dirty sock in a little bag for the boy to take home!  And he came back into our classroom looking pretty pleased with himself.  Gosh I love that man!!

I am literally laughing just thinking about all of this!  While Peter was changing diapers I was confiscating toys, separating children, and dealing with the highly emotional ones. Who knew two hours with multiple 3 year olds could be so draining, yet so entertaining?  Can't wait till next time!!

Xoxo,

Malia

Speed Dating.

I ran across this blog today that is hosting a blogger "Speed Date" linkup party and I figured I would give it a try!  I mean the entire thing is one sided, and I don't have anyone staring back at me - so why not right?  Visit Nicole's blog today to link up with other bloggers and maybe even learn more about them!

Here are some tidbits about me that I thought you just might find amusing!  

My name is Hawaiian, but I am not Hawaiian.  My parents just figured it would be amusing to give their SECOND daughter the Hawaiian name that no one can pronounce.  And they lived in Hawaii for a few years, so I suppose the name is justified - plus it's a great conversation starter!

My parents met on a blind date, and it just so happens that they travel alot, and as a child I was blessed to tag along with them to all sorts of places.  One of the most memorable being Maui - we went there nearly every year when I was growing up!  I love it there, and maybe it's because it's one of the only places where people pronounce my name properly.

I can touch my tongue to my nose, but I can't whistle.  My husband finds the second one very amusing!

Speaking of my husband, I should probably mention that he is Irish.  And I don't just mean his parents or grandparents came over on a boat - I mean he truly is Irish, citizenship and all!  We are in the process of gaining US citizenship for him, and we have already been through the Green Card process, and it's nothing like the movies make it out to be.  We, or maybe I should say he, learned WAY more about the process than he ever wanted to.  So message me if you have any questions! 

I met my husband in Ireland, in 2004, when I was there on a mission trip.  And maybe I should mention that I was in a relationship with someone else at the time.  Somewhere along the lines I won his heart and I remember telling a friend that I was going to marry him!  And that I did, in 2009, 5 years after meeting him!  Our journey together is a beautiful example of God's goodness and grace.

I love all things Irish, but my husband definitely tops that list.   You can read more about our story here.

I absolutely love being married.  There is nothing more beautiful than true refinement and transformation, and God has used Peter tremendously in my refining process.  And although it's hard and sometimes I slightly despise Peter for holding me accountable and calling me out on things, it is so very worth it.  I have grown so much more within marriage than I ever would have out of it!  I have realized just how selfish I truly am.  And I have also realized that I love to control things, such as the cleanliness of our home.  And one of the most important things I have realized over the years is that it's not just about making each other happy, although that's important, but rather about making each other holy.   You can read more about that here.

I love Mexican food, and  I am a quarter Puerto Rican, but I don't think that has anything to do with my love for Mexican food.  I speak a bit of Spanish and probably understand more than I give myself credit for.  

I absolutely love to travel and get really excited about going to new places and visiting friends in the old places.  I love flying and everything having to do with airports and airplanes.  And I would love to travel to India someday.  

I work for a christian non-profit called CRISTA ministries.  And it is such a blessing to work in a Christian environment, but challenging all the same!

I am still friends with friends from elementary school, junior high, high school and college.  And I love the history that goes along with friendships that last the ages.  

I am all about the sweet things, while my husband, Peter, is all about the savory!

I am super frugal and get a high out of saving money. Some might even say that I'm a money hoarder.  One of my latest prayer requests has been about greed - how much to keep for self and how much to give.  And is there ever really a limit to how much you can give away?  And where do you draw the line?  These are questions we have been wrestling with.

I really love talking finances - and have been reading all sorts of financial books lately.  Maybe this has to do with the fact that my dad and brother are both wealth managers - so maybe on some level I am trying to relate to them?  In all honesty, I think I just like talking numbers and investments and retirement and I am slightly obsessed with checking our stock investments and account balances.

I absolutely LOVE a good deal and I think I get about 5-10 emails a day from the likes of groupon, amazon, living social, etc.  I very rarely purchase said deals, but I still love seeing what my options are.

I love asking questions and I am an extremely curious person.  And I love going deep with people, hence all the questions.  I love to read and I love movies, and I love getting both of those items for FREE at the public library.

According to the Strengthsfinder book, my strengths are WOO (winning over others), Harmony, Belief, Adaptability and Input.  I think they all ring true for me!  You can read more about them here.  My love language is words of affirmation and quality time (I can pick two can't I?). And according to my Myers-Brigg's assessment, I am an ENFJ.

We attend a non-denominational church, and my husband is a missionary, which simply means that part of our income comes from the abundant generosity of others.  This has forced us to truly rely on the Lord to provide for us through said generosity of others.  There were times when we went without a paycheck simply because we didn't have enough donations coming in!  God is SOO good though and He has brought Peter and I to our knees and ultimately closer together.

I have a humongous heart for all things Africa even though I have only been there once.  We plan to go back to Malawi in September, and I don't know if I can wait!

One of my biggest fears is that Peter will die before we get a chance to live our lives together (kind of makes me wonder what I think we are doing RIGHT NOW!).  But really, this fear sometimes cripples me and makes me cry uncontrollably.  And I have to fight it all the time and REMEMBER that if he does die, it only means he has gone on to a better place!! 

Okay now it's time for YOU to share!!  Ready, Set, GO!  And don't forget to link up!