The Smoke is Lifting

As we begin our 10 hour journey home to Seattle, the sun rises over the mountains in Banff.  And we leave with tired limbs and full hearts. Everyone should plan a roadtrip or some type of escape with their partner at least once a year! It was so good for our souls to just reconnect sans kids and other commitments and just be…together.

We drove a lot (28 hours), hiked a lot (30 miles + over 2.5 days), laughed a lot and I wish I could say we slept a lot, but the truth is, we didn’t. We were home late and up early every morning as we tried to soak up every moment of this kidless trip, doing things we would rather not do with our kids.

Anyhow, as we drove through the mountains on Thursday, we couldn’t see too far ahead as the smoke from the fires filled the landscape. We could only see what we needed to see, the road in front of us, but much to Peter’s disappoint the winds had blown the smoke in and hidden the mountains and their terrain from our sight. 

And I just thought about how similar that is to life.

Quite often we can only see today or tomorrow or maybe just a step in front of us. We’re unable to see a mile down the road, unable to see the future.

Our life is like this smoke, God gives us enough guidance and sight to see the next step but not too much to see too far ahead. He only reveals just enough to keep you going, to keep you driving, to keep you following Him. And yet, you wait with eagerness and excitement as you anticipate just what is to come around the next bend.

And then, the smoke lifts, and you have a clear vision for your future and the plans He has for you and you trust that they are good and you keep walking in obedience.

That was us on Thursday as we followed the road, hoping and anticipating that the smoke would lift, that the beauty and the majesty of the mountains would be revealed.

And they were, the next day.

And that’s how my heart feels today, the smoke has lifted, I don’t know the exact plans the Lord has for our family, for me, but I trust with my whole being that they are good.  And we will continue to follow Him and walk in obedience, hoping and praying that the steps we take on this journey bring Him honor and glory always.

The Lucky Ones.

It has been a month since I last wrote. A whole month. Where does the time go?  I think I say that every post.

I find myself looking back tonight and feeling extremely nostalgic and extremely emotional.  These are my thoughts - they are real, true, and honest, and tears are brimming at my eyes as I type. 

For some reason I have been running across some really sad posts on facebook, all of them centering around the premature death of a baby, the loss of a child, a spouse, a friend, or the diagnosis of an illness, and my heart breaks.  It literally shatters into so many tiny little pieces, and I find myself reading through all the comments, words of encouragements, offers of prayer and support, from people that I don't even know.

And I am reminded of all that we went through with Jack more than a year ago.  And I can't help but feel so lucky. Our son is alive. He didn't suffer from any complications from arriving 6 weeks early. His eyesight is great, his heart is strong, he eats like a champ. And in a year's time, you will have no idea he had such a rocky start to life.  His 4 lb self doesn't exist any longer. He is thriving in every sense of the word. And he is alive. And I feel lucky.

But I can't help but ask...what about the babies that were in the NICU with him? Where are they now? What about the one that needed heart surgery? Or what about the one who weighed just a lb? Or the ones that spent months in the intensive care unit? Are they thriving now? And would their parents consider themselves lucky? They are living and breathing and they may have complications, but they are alive.

The reality is death and tragedy surrounds us. We simply can not escape it no matter how far we run. And sometimes if I'm honest, I want to run really far. I want to think I'm immune to it all - that I'm one of the lucky ones. It's easier that way right? The truth is, I don't know how I would handle the grief that would envelope me if Jack or Peter were to die tomorrow, if my mom was to be diagnosed with cancer, if I was to be diagnosed with cancer. How would I handle it? Would I turn toward God or away from Him?

I can ask so many hypothetical questions and try to justify my anger and rationalize my grief, but the bottom line is, would I not be one of the lucky ones even if Jack were to die tomorrow? We have had a whole year with our little man and some only get months, days, or even hours. We brought our son home, alive, from the hospital, and some never even get that privilege.

Would I not be one of the lucky ones even if I was diagnosed with cancer?

Would I not be one of the lucky ones even if ......(insert your choice of tragedy)?

The truth is life is not about luck. Life is about love and a relationship with our Heavenly Father. And this relationship with the Lord is what makes me one of the lucky ones. May I never EVER forget this. And may He truly be my lifeline. The end.

Sock Bun.

Oh my goodness - thank goodness for stylish girlfriends who introduce me to cool things like sock buns!  I just told my mom about it and I wish I could have recorded her excitement about her new 'do.

You have to watch the video and try it out for yourself…all you need is a ponytail and a sock without the toe and you too can have a sock bun!!  It's the easiest thing ever, or so I think, and it doesn't require a single bobypin.  Thank goodness for that!!  I can never get my buns to stay with those things.

So I watched the sock bun tutorial (you should too!) and I was determined to try it out for myself...so I did.  And I love the finished product.  You get better and better with practice, and my bun looks better each time, or so I think. :)

 Hard to believe I have a sock in there right??

 Can you see the sock?  I think not!

Can you tell I am pretty excited about my new 'do?

This is an amazing find for someone who only washes her hair a few times a week!  So now it's your turn...go find an old sock or one that will slightly match your hair color and give it a go!  

Xoxo,

Malia

Stories.

Each of us has a life story.  Our story reminds us of where we have been and where we have yet to go.  It reminds us of who we are and who we have yet to become.  So many people, places, and things shape this story - a story that is so uniquely yours.

I have been thinking ALOT about this lately.  What is MY story? How would I describe my life and who I am? How would someone else describe it? What do I want my story to become? What do I need to do to get there? Who do I want to become? So many questions - so few answers and this is the story of my life. But if I sat down to write my life story thus far what would I say? What would be worthy of even mentioning? What would the title of the book be?

We each have a story - So the big question is... what is your story?

Open your heart to hear other peoples stories. Open your ears and you will hear the cries, the joys, the struggles and the triumphs that are laced within each of our stories. Sit and listen - you never know what you might find in the depths of someones story.