Our anniversary has come and gone, but this year marks nine years married to this man. How was our wedding day 9 years ago? I look back at the photos and think, look at us, we had no idea just what was ahead. We had experienced heart ache, but nothing like what these last 9 years have brought us!
So in true anniversary fashion, I wanted to take some time to sit and reflect on this past year of marriage, just like I've done for all the years that have come before this one. So that is what I found myself doing on Monday, nearly a week after the actual anniversary (try a month as that's when I actually finished this!! and two months as that's when I actually posted it.). This is three kids guys. I feel like I hardly have time for anything, let alone time to write. So here I am sitting on the couch, pumping, with my computer resting on the ottoman, while Conor naps and Jack and Ryan are drawing and dancing around the house and music is playing on the TV.
Let's just say Peter went to bed around 10:45 last night after he fed Conor and woke up at 3:30 to feed him again, only to sleep for 30 more minutes before his alarm woke him up at 4:32 AM. This man serves and says yes like nobody's business. I'm so in awe of him, truly. You should see me in the wee hours of the morning before the sun has come up, it's not pretty, and I'm anxious to get back to sleep as I'm most definitely not ready to start the day.
Anyhow, last year, we started off our anniversary with a visit to the Dr. to have a D&C. I remember telling the Dr. and everyone there it was our anniversary, an anniversary we will most certainly never forget. I remember the tears I shed as they apologized time and time again for our loss, and the tears that came as I laid on that table and the procedure was completed. And Peter sat there holding my hand, carrying my grief for me.
And in the days following our anniversary we shipped off the kids and packed up the car and hit the open road. What a whirlwind of a trip that was. It was a hard time for us emotionally as we were just so broken, literally, your body from your fall just weeks before and my body from the miscarriage.
And yet, here I sit just thinking about how God has healed us this past year. I truly feel like this last year was a year of healing, healing our bodies, healing our hearts, building us up spiritually, emotionally, physically to endure the year ahead.
And last August feels like a lifetime ago, truly. What a year it has been! In one year, you were let go from your job, a job you'd waited 18 months for only to interview and be offered a job within weeks of the one you lost. And that job is so much better than the one you had previously. And in that year, we got pregnant again, and had another baby, our rainbow baby. He arrived far earlier than we would have liked him to, but he's here and he's healthy, and we have learned so much about letting go and letting God.
And isn't that what we want to teach our kids? To let go and let God.
There is so much freedom in the letting go and in trusting God.
I have no idea why we've walked through more in the last 9 years of marriage, last 2 years really, than some people walk through in a lifetime, but what I do know is we are better for it.
Truly, we are.
My love for you runs even deeper than I ever could have dreamed it could, and as hard as I try I'll never be able to fully articulate just how much I love you.
I'll never be able to fully articulate my sincere gratitude to the Lord for His crazy idea of putting the two of us together, an American girl and an Irish guy.
I love our love story and I love our life.
May we never lose sight of the one who called us to each other, may we never lose sight of the fact that there is purpose in all things and that He makes beautiful things out of us.
And Peter, our marriage in all it's messiness and holiness is beautiful and there is purpose in it.
You my husband are beautiful and it's such an honor to walk alongside you, to witness your own soul searching, your own transformation, your own vulnerability and crying out amidst the various seasons of life. I know these past few years have been hard, but I've been so humbled by the way you've just kept on walking, plodding through the obstacles thrown at you as you pick yourself up off the mat time and time again as you trust that He is present and He is faithful. And that what shall come our way will be good because He is good.
I never in my wildest dreams could have envisioned just how good marriage would be. Don't get me wrong it's some of my hardest work, but it's also some of my best work. May we continue to be vulnerable with each other, speaking truth into the hardest places as we sharpen each other while simultaneously smoothing those sharp edges.
And may we never lose sight of God's purpose within us, as our marriage is our greatest ministry.
Let's just say Peter went to bed around 10:45 last night after he fed Conor and woke up at 3:30 to feed him again, only to sleep for 30 more minutes before his alarm woke him up at 4:32 AM. This man serves and says yes like nobody's business. I'm so in awe of him, truly. You should see me in the wee hours of the morning before the sun has come up, it's not pretty, and I'm anxious to get back to sleep as I'm most definitely not ready to start the day.
Anyhow, last year, we started off our anniversary with a visit to the Dr. to have a D&C. I remember telling the Dr. and everyone there it was our anniversary, an anniversary we will most certainly never forget. I remember the tears I shed as they apologized time and time again for our loss, and the tears that came as I laid on that table and the procedure was completed. And Peter sat there holding my hand, carrying my grief for me.
And in the days following our anniversary we shipped off the kids and packed up the car and hit the open road. What a whirlwind of a trip that was. It was a hard time for us emotionally as we were just so broken, literally, your body from your fall just weeks before and my body from the miscarriage.
And yet, here I sit just thinking about how God has healed us this past year. I truly feel like this last year was a year of healing, healing our bodies, healing our hearts, building us up spiritually, emotionally, physically to endure the year ahead.
And last August feels like a lifetime ago, truly. What a year it has been! In one year, you were let go from your job, a job you'd waited 18 months for only to interview and be offered a job within weeks of the one you lost. And that job is so much better than the one you had previously. And in that year, we got pregnant again, and had another baby, our rainbow baby. He arrived far earlier than we would have liked him to, but he's here and he's healthy, and we have learned so much about letting go and letting God.
And isn't that what we want to teach our kids? To let go and let God.
There is so much freedom in the letting go and in trusting God.
I have no idea why we've walked through more in the last 9 years of marriage, last 2 years really, than some people walk through in a lifetime, but what I do know is we are better for it.
Truly, we are.
My love for you runs even deeper than I ever could have dreamed it could, and as hard as I try I'll never be able to fully articulate just how much I love you.
I'll never be able to fully articulate my sincere gratitude to the Lord for His crazy idea of putting the two of us together, an American girl and an Irish guy.
I love our love story and I love our life.
May we never lose sight of the one who called us to each other, may we never lose sight of the fact that there is purpose in all things and that He makes beautiful things out of us.
And Peter, our marriage in all it's messiness and holiness is beautiful and there is purpose in it.
You my husband are beautiful and it's such an honor to walk alongside you, to witness your own soul searching, your own transformation, your own vulnerability and crying out amidst the various seasons of life. I know these past few years have been hard, but I've been so humbled by the way you've just kept on walking, plodding through the obstacles thrown at you as you pick yourself up off the mat time and time again as you trust that He is present and He is faithful. And that what shall come our way will be good because He is good.
I never in my wildest dreams could have envisioned just how good marriage would be. Don't get me wrong it's some of my hardest work, but it's also some of my best work. May we continue to be vulnerable with each other, speaking truth into the hardest places as we sharpen each other while simultaneously smoothing those sharp edges.
And may we never lose sight of God's purpose within us, as our marriage is our greatest ministry.
Great post!
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