It's time to tell the Truth about Motherhood.

A friend posted a link to this article on her Facebook page awhile ago, and I read it of course. But little did I know my husband would be reading it too.  He came home that night wanting to talk about it over dinner.

And before I dive into our conversation, I want to encourage you to read the article in its entirety, but I will at least give you a little glimpse of some of my favorite words.

"The thing is, moms are tired.  They're also confused a lot of the time.  And they feel lost, like the days before GPS when we used to print out directions from Map Quest - like actually print them out on paper - and then just as you were glancing down at the paper the exit flew by you.  That kind of lost....

And moms, they wake up after having spent a night being woken up and they walk out into all that loudness and confused lost chaos.  They do it with eyes still squinting at the light, scrabbling for contact lenses or glasses and a cup of hot tea with plenty of sugar.  There were days they used to sleep in.  They can't remember those days anymore.  Their bodies are programmed to wake up at o'toddler dark thirty even when they're on vacation."

(Now isn't that the truth...I keep thinking, aren't we on vacation? (wrote this in Ireland) Shouldn't we be able to sleep as long as we want...the answer is no.  Gone are the days when I can wake up when I want to.)

And she continues...

"I want so badly for someone to tell her the truth about the exhaustion and how hard nursing can be and that everyone who looks so put together at church - there are none of us immune from the meltdowns and feelings of inadequacy.  I want so badly for someone to take her aside and ask how she's really doing.  For someone, anyone, to mentor her and admit their own hard days.  To be willing to go first.  To tell her how frustrated they were at the thought of even beginning the tedious process of trying to leave the house.  I want someone to ruthlessly admit to her that they don't have it all together.  That's where you come in."

And the truth is...I want to be that mom.  That mom that is honest and real.  That mom that admits how hard it truly is.  That mom that admits that sometimes she doesn't want to be pawed at, that sometimes she doesn't want to be needed by this little being, that sometimes she just wants to wake up when she wants to wake up.

I want to be a mom that encourages other moms, that invites real conversations and real support and encouragement.

And this is what I told the husband that night.

But first he asked the question..."Would you say that the transition to motherhood has been really hard on you?"

And this was my response..."You read that article on Natalie's wall didn't you?"

His reply, "Yeah, and while reading it I just kept thinking...Malia isn't struggling with any of this."

And I said, "Well, this is our reality now, no point getting down on myself...but yeah it's hard.  The sheer exhaustion, trying to balance it all, feeling as though I'm not satisfying anyone or doing anything well - that's hard."

The husband, "No one talks about the dads...how hard it is on the dads.  They are looking after the mom and the baby.  And that's hard."

I love that man and his response got me thinking.  He's right - no one talks about the dads, the conversations are always centered around the moms.  It's time to tell the truth about fatherhood, how hard it is on them.  Then again, maybe Peter's situation is unique. I ask alot of that man.  He isn't exempt from anything, well maybe the night time wakings (yes, Jack still wakes up at night) considering he doesn't have the tools to soothe him.

Anyhow, just something to consider, and maybe if Peter's willing, I'll ask him to share a little more on the blog.

So much love,

Malia